Scientific Gossip (37-6a)
Contains 100% gossip from concentrate
Subatomic Child's Play
For decades, physicists have struggled to develop an intuitive understanding of the subatomic world. Photons, quarks and their ilk behave in ways that sometimes leave even top scientists shaking their heads in bemusement. Psychologists at the University of Michigan theorize that the real problem lies in the educational system — that currently children are educated to have outmoded intuition. They are conducting an experiment to see whether children can develop a different, better intuitive understanding of nature if left to their own devices. In the experiment, children of five and younger will be given particle accelerators and allowed to play with them in their own way. It is hoped that the children will develop a clear understanding of the quantum world, and will then pass that understanding on to adult physicists.
The Irony of Pus
Russian public health authorities, strapped for funding, have decided not to regulate many of the new products that have appeared since the Soviet Union collapsed. One of the most popular substances is a skin cream called CC-92. It is derived from the pus produced by adolescent acne sufferers. The manufacturer claims that CC-92 removes facial wrinkles in middle-aged and elderly patients.
Virtual Veracity
Hard on the heels of artificial intelligence (“AI”), virtual reality and the strategic defense initiative (“SDI,” also known as “Star Wars”) comes the latest wave of clever military/pop technology: virtual veracity (“VV”). VV's proponents say that this technology, when mature, will transform any spoken or written text into a data set which has a robust appearance of truth. Funding requirements for the next decade are estimated to be $250 billion, most of which will come from military agencies in the U.S., E.C. and Japan, and possibly from several of the former Soviet Union nations. VV's proponents say that the investment will be quickly repaid via unanticipated spinoff technologies.
Homeopathic Highways
Automobiles may someday be able to drive 1000 miles or more on a single tankful of gasoline and subsequent “toppings off” with tap water, according to French researchers. This is possible, they say, via a process of homeopathic combustion, in which vanishingly small amounts of gasoline are dissolved in water. When diluted sufficiently, the mixture is believed to yield large amounts of energy. The research is inspired by the work of two-time Ig Nobel chemistry laureate Jacques Benveniste.
© Copyright 2003 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
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