PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue number 2005-03 March 2005 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2005-03-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2005-03-02 Imminent Events 2005-03-03 What's New in the Magazine 2005-03-04 Don't Look, Don't Tell 2005-03-05 Energetic, Happy Nod 2005-03-06 Project Cuppa, Second Serving 2005-03-07 British Project Cuppa Demonstrator Info 2005-03-08 Two to Twenty-Three, Resumed 2005-03-09 Mystery of Life, Chapter 2 2005-03-10 Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair 2005-03-11 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Driving Whilst Plastered 2005-03-12 On Our Blog 2005-03-13 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Tub and Tap 2005-03-14 Improbable Research Events 2005-03-15 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2005-03-16 Our Address (*) 2005-03-17 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2005-03-18 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-02 Imminent Events The Ig Nobel Tour of the UK will include shows with Marc Abrahams, several Ig Nobel Prize winners, and performances of "The Atkins Diet Opera" in OXFORD, WARRINGTON, NOTTINGHAM, and LONDON on MARCH 11, 14, 15, and 16. All of these are free or (in Nottingham) inexpensive. But seats are limited in number (and in size and strength, too), so please reserve your place(s) ASAP. For details, see There will also be a live Guardian web chat with Marc Abrahams on THU, MARCH 17, at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-03 What's New in the Magazine The Mar/Apr issue (vol. 11, no. 2) of the Annals of Improbable Research is the special PUZZLING SOLUTIONS Issue. It will be emerge from the printer in late March or very early April. Highlights include: <> "Puzzling Solutions" collected by Emil Filterbag <> " The Lost Theorems of Kakutani" by Stanley Eigen <> "The 'Name Number' for Geology, and for Other Professions" by Kevin Krajik and many other things. [NOTE: The Jan/Feb issue, the special YAWNING Issue, took its time leaving the printer. If you are a subscriber and you haven't received yours yet, it should arrive soon. The table of contents (along with several of the articles) is at: ] ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-04 Don't Look, Don't Tell Many scientists are confused. We have a remedy for them. At a recent science meeting in Washington, DC, we encountered many scientists, from the United States and elsewhere, who said they were confused and troubled. "What," most everyone was asking, "has happened to the US government's policy about science?" The question has a happy answer. The US now, at long last, has a coherent, simple science policy. You can state it in four words: Don't Look, Don't Tell This is a practical policy, because scientists are a pain in the neck. They often insist on digging for "the real story" of how something works. Told about a plan to build or do something, they try to "figure out" -- in advance -- how well that plan is going to work. Political leaders -- the modern, superior ones -- have learned to trust their gut feelings. That's what brought them their success. They know that, in the long run, problems always manage to work themselves out one way or another. Scientists, who often nervously distrust their own gut instinct, can learn from the logic of their superiors. The new policy -- Don't Look, Don't Tell -- is a lesson for all of us. Please spread the word. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-05 Energetic, Happy Nod It's time to give an energetic, happy nod to yet another too- little appreciated but delightful science journal. Please join us in saluting: The International Journal of Fatigue. Hooray! ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-06 Project Cuppa, Second Serving Here are two more servings from the early submissions for Project Cuppa. Project Cuppa is our attempt to collect the best scientists' best rituals for preparing tea or coffee. SARAH KEEDY, Postdoctoral Research Associate at the Center for Cognitive Medicine, University of Illinois at Chicago: "WHEN PRESENTING DATA AT SCIENTIFIC CONFERENCES held in hotels, collect the packages of ground coffee in filter pouches from the hotel-room do- it-yourself coffee service. Back at the office, next morning, brew these in the usual fashion. In the afternoon, turn the pouch upside down, loosening the grounds. Brew again. Then, steep the pouch directly into the weak brew to strengthen it. Try to enjoy." CARL ROVAINEN, Professor Emeritus at the Department of Cell Biology and Physiology in Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri: "A BASIC PRINCIPLE IN FRESHMAN CHEMISTRY lab is that repeated washings of a precipitate extract more than a single large wash. Therefore, heat a large pot of water, add a tablespoon of finely ground coffee to a paper filter and cone, pour in small quantities of hot water, shift to multiple receiver cups as each fills, and drink the progressively weaker coffee until nearly clear." PROJECT CUPPA (tea) c/o or PROJECT CUPPA (coffee) c/o NOTE: Some of the best Project Cuppa entries will be featured in an essay in The Guardian on Tuesday, March 8. It will be appear online at more or less this URL: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-07 British Project Cuppa Demonstrator Info If you want to (and can) demonstrate your Project Cuppa entry on stage at one of the Ig-Nobel-Tour-of-the-UK events, here's what to do. Please bring yourself, and any props you might need (you may not need any, as we will provide a blackboard and chalk). Show up a good 30 minutes before the start of the show. If there are too many Project Cuppa demonstrators at any one show, we will make a virtue of it. In such case, we will choose a small number to do demos, and invite everyone else to invite each other out for a cuppa. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-08 Two to Twenty-Three, Resumed Some time ago, we mentioned a press release that included a most memorable range of values: two to twenty-three. Here are further examples of this fascinating interval. These were discovered by investigator Dennis McClain-Furmanski. The number of employees a transportation geologist supervisor usually supervises: The number of characters (numbers), representing a phone number to be dialed, allowed in the Automatic Line/Direct Connect feature of the 5ESS Standard Selectable Features protocol: The number of years women participating in Dartmouth's Women In the Sciences Program remained working in the sciences: Range of years patients were followed after surgery for a study on tendinitis: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-09 Mystery of Life, Chapter 2 There's been an exciting development in our quest to find the author of the wonderfully vapid advertising phrase that was used, a few years ago, by the Monsanto Company. The phrase is "without chemicals, life itself would be impossible." Investigator Paulette Caswell reports that she telephoned the Monsanto Company and spoke with a man in their Media Relations Department. The man promised to call investigator Caswell back. We will keep you advised as and if further exciting developments burst upon the scene. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-10 Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) has still more new members: All UK LFHCfS members are invited to come to the Ig Tour shows, take a bow, and wow your admirers. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-11 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Driving Whilst Plastered Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. This month's pick: "Driving Whilst Plastered: Is It Safe, Is It Legal? A Survey of Advice to Patients Given by Orthopaedic Surgeons, Insurance Companies and the Police," O.A. Von Arx, et al., Injury, vol. 35, no. 9, September 2004, pp. 883-7. (Thanks to Leslie Lawrence for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are at Great Western Hospital, Marlborough Road, Swindon, UK, explain that: Many patients, immobilised in a plaster cast after a fracture of the upper or lower limb, wish to drive. They frequently ask permission to do so from the treating surgeon. ... [We canvassed] 126 consultant orthopaedic surgeons, 27 insurance companies and the 6 regional police constabularies ... asking how they would advise these patients regarding safety to drive. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-12 On Our Blog Here are some recent topics (a new one appears every weekday) in our blog: Gefingerpoken Bureaucratic toadying Other Einsteins How to fix a biologi On the beach ... and many others Read the blog via ----------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-13 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Tub and Tap TOPOLOGY IN THE TUB "Submarine Canyons in the Bathtub," Franois MŽtivier, Eric Lajeunesse and Marie-Christine Cacas, Journal of Sedimentary Research, vol. 75, no. 1, 2005, pp. 6-11. (Thanks to Tom Gill for bringing this and the next citation to our attention.) TALE OF THE TAP "Hydrodynamical Models for the Chaotic Dripping Faucet," P. Coullet, L. Mahadevan and C.S. Riera, Journal of Fluid Mechanics, vol. 526, no. 1, March 2005, pp. 1-17. ------------------------------------------------------------ 2005-03-14 Improbable Research Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. ==> IG NOBEL TOUR OF THE UK for NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK OXFORD -- FRI, MARCH 11, 2005 DARESBURY LAB, WARRINGTON -- MON, MARCH 14 NOTTINGHAM TRENT UNIVERSITY -- TUE, MARCH 15 DANA CENTRE, LONDON -- WED, MARCH 16 INFO: MUSEUM OF SCIENCE, BOSTON, MA -- APR 1, 2005 I-CON 24, STONY BROOK, NY -- APR 8-10, 2005 NATIONAL WRITERS' WORKSHOP, HARTFORD, CT -- APR 16/17, 2005 IG NOBEL TOUR OF AUSTRALIA for NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK -- AUGUST, 2005 CASCADIACON, SEATTLE -- THURS, SEPT 1 - MON, SEPT. 5, 2005 FIFTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- OCT 6, 2005 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University. Tickets will go on sale in August. IG INFORMAL LECTURES -- OCT 8, 2005 MIT. Room and time to be announced. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-15 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-16 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2005-03-17 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2005, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-03-18 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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