============================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1994-05 September, 1994 ISSN 1076-500X Key words:science humor,improbable research,Ig Nobel ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) at The MIT Museum ============================================================ ----------------------------- 1994-05-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1994-05-01 Table of Contents 1994-05-02 The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Approacheth -- details 1994-05-03 Specific Anti-Wrinkle and Firming Eye Creme 1994-05-04 Advances in Science 1994-05-05 Millipede Dimming 1994-05-06 Hot AIR: Letter of the month 1994-05-07 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results 1994-05-08 May We Recommend... 1994-05-09 Upcoming Events 1994-05-10 Calls for Papers 1994-05-11 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) 1994-05-12 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1994-05-13 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1994-05-14 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*) 1994-05-15 Please DO make copies! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-05-02 The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Approacheth -- details 1. Who will win? All will be revealed on Thursday, October 6, at 7:30 pm. at MIT's Kresge Auditorium. Prizes will be awarded in 10 categories to individuals whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced." Several of the winners will be present to receive their Prizes from the genuine Nobel Laureates. 2. Heisenberg Certainty Lecturers Each Heisenberg Certainty Lecture is on a topic of the speaker's own choosing, and is striclty limited to 30 seconds. The time limit is enforced by a referee. This year's Heisenberg Lecturers include: Nobel Laureates Sheldon Glashow (Physics), Dudley Herschbach William Lipscomb (physics), and Richard Roberts (Physiology or Medicine); astronomer Margaret Geller; and Marvin Minsky, the father of Artificial Intelligence. 3. Returning Laureate Address. This year's Returning Laureate Address will be delivered by Jim Knowlton, the 1992 Ig Nobel Art Prize winner (shared with The U.S. National Endowment for the Arts) for his seminal poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom." Mr. Nolan will speak on the topic, "Onward and Upward." 4. Ig Tickets. Tickets are on sale at the MIT Museum Shop in The MIT Student Center. The price is $2 per ticket. There will be a strict limit of five (5) tickets per person. We have been asked to remind you that scalping is illegal in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. For ticket information call 617-253-1533. 5. Calling all Delegations! A limited number of seats is reserved for official theme delegations of 4-12 beings (human participants only). The Ceremony commences with the formal Grand Entrance Parade of the Delegations, an experience not to be missed If you wish to bring a delegation, please get in touch IMMEDIATELY with: Margaret Ann Gray 617-253-0217 mag@mit.edu 6. AIRhead proliferation. An impressive number (of which we did not keep track) of readers responded to our manipulative offer to become an AIRhead for a Day. These AIRheads are taking copies of our attractively appalling flyer, and handing them out or posting them at conferences, meetings, and classes, and in libraries and, especially, in rest room stalls. If you would like to be an AIRhead, please email us at . [And yes, yes, we finally did create a postscript file version of the flyer, which we will email to any AIRhead who asks.] ---------------------------------------------- 1994-05-03 Specific Anti-Wrinkle and Firming Eye Creme by Alice Shirrell Kaswell A breakthrough in biochemistry is reported in the September 26, 1994 issue of the research journal "The New Yorker." An unsigned paper on page 10 describes "a formula that slips on with a delicacy that belies its potency." No clinical data are presented, but the research involved "special anti-wrinkle and hydrophilic ingredients" that were found to be "responsive to the eye area." The work was carried out by Lancome of Paris, working with "a protein fortified, age-defying formula." This may also be of interest to the physics community -- the formula, which has been given the chemical name "Renergie Eye" or, alternatively, "Renergie Yeux," is reported to be "from a proven power against time." ---------------------------------------------- 1994-05-04 Advances in Science "The Air Force is reacting to the EPA ban on CFC's by replacing them in the cooling systems of the intercontinental (ballistic) missiles with 2 to 10 nuclear warheads on board. If they are ever fired, it will be an environmentally friendly nuclear holocaust, not threatening the Ozone layer." -- Access to Energy, July 1993 (Thanks to Paul Monaghan for bringing this to our attention.) ---------------------------------------------- 1994-05-05 Millipede Dimming by Rodney L. Levine, National institutes of Health, Bethesda, MD Progress continues apace in the field of millipede research. Investigator Jack Eden of the research journal "The Washington Post" presents the following terse summary of his life's work: "Continue dimming outdoor house lights to prevent millipedes from mating on the lawn." --Washington Post, September 17, 1994, p. E13. [Note: Eden does not present details of how he conducted the experiments, nor of the results that led him to this summary conclusion. We will closely monitor his subsequent publications.] ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-05-06 Hot AIR: Letter of the month Objectionable Abundance To the editor: August et al. et al.'s conclusions on "The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth" (mini-AIR, 1994-00) were welcome and certainly overdue. However, you have not published the authors' addresses, a decidedly unfortunate oversight on your part. Could you please send me the addresses for author nos. 34, 36, 56-59, 77, 134, 144, 156, 180, and 195. Would you also kindly forward the enclosed mail to author nos. 3, 65, 104, 169, and 198? Secondarily, I fail to see how this paper could have been "authored" by these authors (even if some are dead). Each author authored 0.085 word. Please forward my objections to all authors for individual response. --Earle Spamer, Academy of Natural Sciences, Philadelphis, PA ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-05-07 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include: Item # 83 (submitted by investigator Peng Hwa Ang) "IT 2000: Vision of an Intelligent Island" A study produced for the island nation of Singapore on the impact of information technology on the country's economic, social, political life. Item # 125 (submitted by investigator Michael Martin) Grape Soda 2000. This item is sold in Gamboa, Panama. Item # 539 News 2000. Gannett Publishing's program to bring about "responsible community journalism that produces compelling newspapers read by more people more often." Item # 802 (submitted by investigator Michael Nolan) "Beyond 2000." Australian television program. Item # 1111 (submitted by investigator Peter Kaiser Piscines d'eau 2000, swimming pools produced in Valbonne, France. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-05-08 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library: "Azoreductase Activity in Bacteria Associated with the Greening of Instant Chocolate Puddings," "Applied & Environmental Microbiology," Vol.60,#8, pp.3027-3029. (Thanks to investigator Dean C. for bringing this to our attention.) "Wavefront amplitude distribution in the female breast," by Qing Zhu and Bernard D. Steinberg, " Journal of the Acoustical Society of America," Vol. 96, No 1, July 1994. (Thanks to Jonathan Mead for bringing this to our attention.) "Insect physiology," Sir Vincent B. Wigglesworth, London, Methuen, 1966. (Thanks to Gladys Carkeek for bringing Sir Wigglesworth and his life's calling to our attention.) "Effects of egg yolk and glycerol levels in lactose-EDTA-EGG yolk extender on the motility of frozen-thawed stallion spermatazoa," by Cristanelli, M.J., Amann, R.P., Squires, E.L., and Pickett, B.W., "Theriogenology," vol. 24, 1985, pp. 681-686. (We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-05-09 Upcoming Events U RHODE ISLAND, Kingston Sept 30, 3 pm Pastore Hall Auditorium (Chemistry Dept.) Spons. by URI Sigma Xi and URI Dept. of Chemistry For info: Prof. Louis J. Kirschenbaum kirschenbaum@chm.uri.edu 401-792-2340 ******************************************************** 1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thursday, Oct. 6, 7:30 pm Kresge Auditorium, MIT Tickets: $2 ******* 10% Discount for Nobel Laureates over 65! ****** ******************************************************** POST-CEREMONY LIVE IG RADIO Fri. afternoon, Oct. 7 National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast an hour of live interviews with Ig Nobel Laureates, Nobel Laureates, and hecklers who participated in the previous night's ceremony. Check your local NPR station for broadcast time. GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD Fri., Oct. 28, 3 pm. MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29, 7 pm. For info: Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651 SCIENCE FRIDAY IG BROADCAST Fri. afternoon, Nov. 25 "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast a (nearly) complete recording of this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. This is the day after Thanksgiving in the US. Check your local NPR station for broadcast time. INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10, 1995 Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942 *** If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable Science Event at your city, university, hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact us. ------------------------------------------ 1994-05-10 Calls for Papers CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic "Iterated Punctuation." Please explain what, if anything, you mean by this phrase. CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1995 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail. ****************************************************************** 1994-05-11 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news about improbable research and ideas. Specifically: A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research. B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. C) News about other science humor activities intentional and otherwise. WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts) AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world including seven Nobel Laureates. EAch October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. --------------------------- 1994-05-12 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Catch up on things you need to know: The Taxonomy of Barney * A Natural History of the Articulated Lorry * Effectiveness of Chinese Fortune Cookies * A Review of the Nairobi Telephone Directory * The Aerodynamics of Potato Chips * The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony * Scientific Gossip * Nobel Thoughts (offbeat interviews with Nobel Laureates) * Elegant Results (reviews of cosmetics ads) * Hot Air (exhalations from our readers) * X-Rays of the Rich and Famous * and then some! The first issue of AIR will appear in December, 1994. Join us as a subscriber, and as a collaborator! =========================================================== =========================================================== Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research for a period of (check one): ___ 1 year (six issues) ___ 2 years (twelve issues) Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: Payment method: ___ Mastercard ___ Visa ___ American Express Card #: Exp. date: (If you prefer not to send your credit card number via email, please fax, phone or mail in your order.) ___Check (drawn on US bank) or int'l money order is enclosed. ___ This is a gift from: Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: ___Send renewal notice to me. ___Send renewal notice to my beneficiary. 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[Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.] --------------------------- 1994-05-14 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses Our mailing address: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA (617) 253-4462 fax: (617)253-8994 Editorial matters: (617) 253-8329 PLEASE include your Internet address in all printed correspondence. Our Internet addresses: Editorial matters: air@mit.edu Ig Nobel matters: ig@mit.edu --------------------------- 1994-05-15 Please make copies! (*) We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is reprinted with permission. B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu) Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn Sports Desk & Technical Support: Christopher Small (chris@das.harvard.edu) Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston Authority Figure: Barbara Linden ============================================================ IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" ============================================================