============================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1994-07 November, 1994 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: science humor,improbable research,Ig Nobel ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) at The MIT Museum ============================================================ ----------------------------- 1994-07-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1994-07-01 Table of Contents 1994-07-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes 1994-07-03 Ig Nobel Peace Prize: Follow-up Investigation 1994-07-04 Selected Abstracts from AIR vol. 1, no. 1 1994-07-05 AIRhead Time Caplet: Exhumation & Interment Contest 1994-07-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results 1994-07-07 Science and the Dervish 1994-07-08 May We Recommend... 1994-07-09 AIRhead Events 1994-07-10 Calls for Papers 1994-07-11 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) 1994-07-12 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1994-07-13 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1994-07-14 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*) 1994-07-15 Please DO make copies! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-07-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes 1. Many readers pointed out that the October issue of mini-AIR was mistakenly dated 1995 rather than 1894. Thank you. 2. Beware... The very first initial premiere grand commemorative historic collectible tribute issue of AIR will be appearing on your doorstep in mid-December, provided that you have remembered to send in your subscription. We are holding a special event to mar the occasion (see section 1994-07-04 below for details). And why not spread the cheer. Give Grandma the one holiday gift she will never forget, no matter how hard she tries. Give the lady some AIR. 3. AIR home page is coming Chances are high that mini-AIR readers will soon be able to obtain a series of improbably memorable digital images of the must lurid and scientific sort. Our World Wide Web home page is nearly ready. Details will be announced in the next issue of mini-AIR. 4. AIRhead Tours If your group of 25 or more colleagues, students, or admirers is coming to Cambridge, you can arrange for a special AIRhead Tour of The MIT Museum, including the notorious Hacks Collection and a chance to meet a genuine AIRhead. The tour includes a half hour slide show/talk on "Improbable Science and the Ig Nobel Prizes." Phone or e-mail to arrange a tour. 5. Once again, we salute those members of the international scientific and technical community who arranged the details of World Standards Day. This year, World Standards Day was October 14. In the US, the day was marked on October 11. In Finland, World Standards Day occurred on October 13. Italy held its own standards conference on October 18. 6. AIR is an intensely nonprofit educational activity of The MIT Museum. Any generous support you or yours (or someone else's) might donate in the form of equipment, clerical assistance, or one of the more widely recognized kinds of sustenance would: (a) irremediably advance the cause of improbable research and education; and (b) bring widespread glory, satisfaction and other desirable states of being. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-07-03 Ig Nobel Peace Prize: Follow-up Investigation Robert L. Park of the American Physical Society (APS) has done a follow-up investigation of the work which earned John Hagelin this year's Ig Nobel Peace Prize. Park's report appeared in his weekly APS newsletter, "WHAT'S NEW." It reads in part: "The [1994 Ig Nobel] Peace Prize went to physicist John Hagelin for his experiment to reduce crime in Washington, DC by the coherent meditation of 4,000 TM [Transcendental Meditation] experts. By coincidence, Hagelin was holding a press conference [on the day of the Ig Nobel Ceremony] to announce his final results. It was a data analysis clinic; violent crime, he proudly declared, decreased 18%! Relative to what? To the predictions of "time-series analysis" involving variables such as temperature and the economy. So although the weekly murder count hit the highest level ever recorded, it was less than predicted." ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-07-04 Selected Abstracts from AIR vol. 1, no. 1 Following are selected abstracts from vol. 1, no. 1, of The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). For full details, including lurid photographs and data, see the issue itself. Additional abstracts will appear in the next issue of mini-AIR. Collect the whole set and amaze your friends and yourself. "The Taxonomy of Barney," Edward C. Theriot, Arthur E. Bogan, and Earle E. Spamer. The authors observed on television an animal which was there identified as a dinosaur, Barney. X-ray, cladistic, and morphological analyses suggest that Barney is a hominid. The authors note that Barney more closely resembles a dead salmon than a dinosaur. [Includes photos and charts] "The Aerodynamics of Potato Chips," by Scott Sandford, Jim Ross, Joe Sacco, and Nathaniel Hellerstein. Potato chips were subjected to a rigorous series of wind-tunnel tests. The authors conclude that, "you can throw a potato chip, just not very far." Other conclusions are also presented. [Includes photos and graphs] "Nobel Thoughts: Sidney Altman," by Marc Abrahams. The Nobel chemistry Laureate addresses questions about beer and potato chips. [Includes photo] "At the Fourth First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony," by Stephen Drew and Francesca Thurston. A complete report on this year's ceremony, featuring citations of the ten Prizewinning efforts and highlights from the acceptance speeches and the 30-second Heisenberg Certainty Lectures. Features 16 photos, including several of the world premiere ballet "Interpretive Dance of the Electrons" featuring The Nicola Hawkins Dancers, three Nobel Laureates, and jazz harpist Deborah Henson- Conant. "The mickeymouse Gene" (photomicrograph), Timothy P. Angelotti and Marco A. Scarpetta "QI of IQ: Quantum Interpretation of The Intelligence Quotient," by Dudley Herschbach. It is hypothesized that intelligence arises from the vibrating molecules within our brains. Qualitatively, IQ is directly proportional to the vibrational amplitude. The distribution of IQ's can be explained by a combination of quantum "tunnel effects," temperature T, and the spring constant K of each individual's head. [Includes instructive graph] Each issue includes genuine page numbers. Other regular features include: AIRhead Medical Review AIRhead Research Review AIRhead Legal Review May We Recommend Bends on the Learning Curve Not by the Book (insidious tricks for teaching) Nobel Thoughts (interview with a Nobel Laureate) Scientific Gossip Solution to the Puzzler Hot AIR -- letters from our readers ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-07-05 AIRhead Time Caplet: Exhumation & Interment Contest To mark the publication of AIR's premiere print issue, the assembled AIRheads will be unearthing a time caplet, removing the contents, discarding them, placing new items into the time caplet, and reburying the apparatus. The caplet items will epitomize the concept of "inflated research and personalities." This is a shamelessly promotional event designed for the press, and everyone is welcome to take part. CAPLET CONTEST Please e-mail your entry to: bourbaki@neu.edu Here is the contest question: What/who should be placed into the time caplet when we re-bury it? CONTEST RULES 1. What do you receive if you win? Nothing -- this contest was devised by AIRheads. 2. Contest submissions must be brief. At your option, they may be in the form of poetry (caplet couplets). 3. We won't be able to personally reply to the contest submissions, but the winners will be honored in a future issue of mini-AIR, whether they like it or not. HOOPLA Several pieces of outstanding improbable research will also be presented at the event. Dudley Herschbach of Harvard, 1986 Nobel Chemistry Laureate, will deliver a five minute lecture based on his AIR article, "QI of IQ: A Quantum Interpretation of the Intelligence Quotient." Dr. Thomas Michel of Brigham and Women's Hospital will present his strictures for "Politically Correct Cardiology." Other AIRheads will present research of similar caliber. Musicians, technicians, architectural historians, literati, and a poodle will also be in attendance. ATTENDING THE EVENT The event will take place at the MIT Museum, on Wednesday, December 14, at 6:30 pm. It will be 45 minutes in length, unless the caplet contents are found to be lethal. A very limited number of tickets (they are free!) will be available at the Museum ONLY the week of the event ONLY ONLY ONLY. Heckling and picketing are strongly encouraged. Lab coats or other appropriate attire are mandatory. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-07-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include: Items # 308C and D (submitted by investigator Tom Hood) FDS 2000 - automobile diagnostic system produced by Ford. LASER 2000 - automobile diagnostic system produced by Lucas. Item # A5 (submitted by investigator John A. Thywissen) AirLand Battle 2000 - US Army plan for fighting future wars. Item # 99-301-H (submitted by investigator Stuart Norris) Sydney 2000 - Sydney's bid to host the 2000 Olympic Games. Item # A5 (submitted by investigator Hazel Boston-Baden) Peninsula Rail 2000: a group of San Francisco Bay Area passenger rail advocates. Their goal is to ring the bay with rail (transit) by 2000. Item3 # A5A, A5B, A5N (submitted by investigator Dave Bell) Twilight 2000: Roleplaying game published by Games Designers Workshop, set in the aftermath of a major war in Europe which leads to a collapse of society throughout the civilised world, and America. 2000AD: Long-running British comic-book for pre-teen and early-teen audience, famous for the character "Judge Dredd, and infamous for the lacklustre revival of Dan Dare. Sim City 2000: An urban planning computer game. Item # 777 (submitted by investigator Dany) Shower 2000 bath and shower gel. This item comes in three flavors: Aloe Vera moisturizing formula; Feels Great energizing formula; Superscent deodorizing formula. [NOTE: This project continues to gain momentum, a fact for which we have no explanation. If you have an explanation, please keep it to yourself.] ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-07-07 Science and the Dervish The Whirling Dervishes of Turkey are currently on a performance tour of the United States. Here is extract from the program booklet given to their audiences. It was written by Dr. Celaddin B. Celebi, their master of ceremonies and the grandson of Hz. Mevlana: "Contemporary science definitely confirms that the fundamental condition of our existence is to revolve. There is no object, no being that does not revolve and the shared similarity among beings is the revolution of the electrons and protons in the atoms, which constitute the structure of the smallest particle to the stars far in the sky. As a consequence of thsi similarity, everything revolves and man carries on his life, his very existence by means of the revolution in the atoms, structural elements in his body, by the circulation of his blood, by his coming from the Earth and return to it, by his revolving with the earth itself." ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-07-08 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library: "The effects of chewing gum stick size and duration of chewing on salivary flow rate and sucrose and bicarbonate concentrations," M. Rosenhek, L. Macpherson, and C. Dawes, "Archives of Oral Biology," vol. 38, no.10, Oct. 1993, pp. 885-891. (Thanks to Wayne Woods for bringing this to our attention.) "Illustrations of the Gestalt-Individual versus Group Performances By the Members of the Rolling Stones," R.N. Paddle, "Australian Psychology," vol. 23, no. 1, p. 88. (Thanks to Jim Jewett for bringing this to our attention.) "Synergistic activation of Ras and 14-3-3 protein of a mitogen activated protein kinase kinase kinase named Ras-dependant extracelluar signal regulated kinase kinase stimulator," by K. Shimizuet et al, "Journal of Biological Chemistry," vol. 269, 1994, p. 22917. (Thanks to Mohan Natesan for bringing this to our attention. Natesan suggests that the title was inspired by Boutros Boutros-Ghali.) (We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-07-09 AIRhead Events IG NOBEL CEREMONY RADIO BROADCAST Fri., Nov. 25 "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast a (nearly) complete recording of this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. This is the day after Thanksgiving in the US. Check your local National Public Radio station for broadcast time; in most cities other than DC and NYC, the show is on from 2-4 pm eastern time. The Ig Ceremony will comprise (and compromise) the program's second hour (3-4 pm eastern). DARTMOUTH COLLEGE Wed., Nov. 30, 6:30 pm Cook Auditorium. Info: julia.a.keith@dartmouth.edu, 603-646-3940 AIRhead TIME CAPLET UNEARTHING/BURIAL Wed., Dec 14, 6:30 pm The event will take place at the MIT Museum. A very limited number of tickets (they are free!) will be available at the Museum ONLY the week of the event ONLY ONLY ONLY. Lab coats or other appropriate attire are mandatory. SCIENCE DISCOVERY MUSEUM, Acton MA Feb. 7, 1995, 3:30-4:30 A hyperinteractive presentation for kids and other scientists. Info:617-264-4200 MENSA OF CENTRAL NJ Sat., Mar 4, 1995, 7:30 Sheraton, Woodbridge, NJ Info: 908-297-5492 matray@watson.bms.com INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY October 10, 1994 Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942 *** If you would like to host an Improbable Research Event *** at your conference, university, research center, company, *** hospital, high school, or scenic mountain vacation home, *** please get in touch with us. ------------------------------------------ 1994-07-10 Calls for Papers CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic "Biodiversity in European Royalty." Reports of your research RESULTS are preferred to speculative essays. CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1995 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail. ****************************************************************** 1994-07-11 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news about improbable research and ideas. Specifically: A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research. B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. C) News about other science humor activities intentional and otherwise. WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts) AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world including seven Nobel Laureates. Each October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. --------------------------- 1994-07-12 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Stay way ahead of what you need to know: The Taxonomy of Barney * A Natural History of the Articulated Lorry * Effectiveness of Chinese Fortune Cookies * A Review of the Nairobi Telephone Directory * The Aerodynamics of Potato Chips * The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony * Scientific Gossip * Nobel Thoughts (offbeat interviews with Nobel Laureates) * Elegant Results (reviews of cosmetics ads) * Hot Air (exhalations from our readers) * X-Rays of the Rich and Famous * and then some! The first issue of AIR will appear in December, 1994. Join us as a subscriber, and as a collaborator! =========================================================== =========================================================== Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research for a period of (check one): ___ 1 year (six issues) ___ 2 years (twelve issues) Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: Payment method: ___ Mastercard ___ Visa ___ American Express Card #: Exp. date: (If you prefer not to send your credit card number via email, please fax, phone or mail in your order.) ___Check (drawn on US bank) or int'l money order is enclosed. ___ This is a gift from: Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: ___Send renewal notice to me. ___Send renewal notice to my beneficiary. 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[Please note: The newsgroup is available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.] --------------------------- 1994-07-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA Subscriptions: (617) 253-4462 fax:(617)253-8994 mitshop@mit.edu Editorial: 617) 253-8329 air@mit.edu PLEASE include your Internet address in all printed correspondence. --------------------------- 1994-07-15 Please make copies! (*) We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is reprinted with permission. B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu) Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn Sports Desk/Tech Support: Chris Small (chris@das.harvard.edu) WWW Editor/Global Village Idiot: Amy Gorin (ringo@mit.edu) Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston Authority Figure: Barbara Linden ============================================================ IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" ============================================================