PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1996-06 June, 1996 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1996-06-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1996-06-01 Table of Contents 1996-06-02 Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:3 1996-06-03 Hoax Materials for All to See 1996-06-04 Competing With the Blobs 1996-06-05 Ig Nobel News 1996-06-06 The Strange Return of Karpook 1996-06-07 Non-Ivory Tower Research 1996-06-08 Mammoth Adventure Continues... 1996-06-09 Genuine Genuinely Odd Units Project 1996-06-10 The Heat About Hot Peppers 1996-06-11 Matters of Taste: Reports From the Field 1996-06-12 AIRhead Project 2000 1996-06-13 May We Recommend... 1996-06-14 AIRhead Events 1996-06-15 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1996-06-16 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1996-06-17 Our Address (*) 1996-06-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-02 Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:3 AIR is a subversively educational print journal. The articles in AIR are longer, more visual, and more xeroxible than the tiny tidbits we publish in mini-AIR. Here are abstracts of some of the items in AIR vol. 2, no. 4, the July/August 1996 issue (our special Typographic Errors issue). Copies of this issue are at this very moment speeding(?) their way to subscribers: "Was Darwin Nearly Right?" by Earle Spamer. This is a further report on the work of Japanese paleontologist Chonosuke Okamura (see also AIR 1:4). Okamura believes he has discovered fossils of many species of microscopic, long-extinct creatures. The report compares Okamura's work with that of his predecessor Charles Darwin. It is lavishly illustrated with photographs of Okamura's finds -- a microscopic mini-man, a microscopic sperm whale, microscopic mini-horses, etc. "Gummy Worms on a Sidewalk," by Kate Eppers and Jesse Eppers. The authors, ages 12 and 10 respectively, conducted an experiment in human behavior. They wanted to see how many people would intentionally step on a gummy worm, how many would avoid it, and how many would step on the gummy worm unknowingly. "Shakespeare, the Closet Entomologist," by Tom Clarke. This epic poem begins: All the world has insects And all the buzzing and droning merely flies; They have their six legs and their wings; And one fly in its time plays many parts," ... "AIRhead Medical Review." This issue summarizes research reports about the uncombable hair syndrome, bungee running injuries, floating stools (yes, floating stools), and the discovery that most fat pigs have sleep apnea. "Improbable Statistics." This new column presents useful, if unverifiable, statistics from hither and yon. "Sleep Research Update." This is the latest in our chronic series of reports on who is sleeping with whom in the lab. Full text and illustrations of these -- and many other -- articles appear in the July/August AIR. As always, we bewilderingly bewitch and bother you to subscribe. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-03 Hoax Materials for All to See In case you have not seen the text of Alan Sokal's hoax science article that a group of so-so sociologists insisted was non- nonsense, it is now available on the Web at: http://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/physics/faculty/sokal/index.html Several commentaries are also at that site. We received a pertinent message from Swedish investigator Daniel Pargman. He quotes a portion of our report on the Sokal matter, and provides some additional enlightenment: > [TECHNICAL AFTERNOTE: we now plan to pulverize our copy of > "Social Text," and flush the particles into a particle > accelerator. Our expectation is that this Derridaist- > Joycean-Gell-Mannian particle collision process will > synthesize a new word: "krock," which is derived from > "krauq," which is a backwards spelling of the word > "quark."] May I remark that "krock" with exactly this spelling actually means "crash" in Swedish! Is it a coincidence, or is a sign from powers we might never understand... I'm just asking, but I think it's kind of spooky if you want my opinion. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-04 Competing With the Blobs Last month we reported that the new "in" place for science tourists to go is/are The Blobs. (The Blobs are giant patches of warm or cold water that lazily drift throughout the North Atlantic, and which have lifetimes of 3-10 years.) Investigator Jim Propp reminds us that a similar tourist attraction exists in the middle of the South Pacific. First brought to the world's attention last year, it has been described as being a "vast, floating 'reef' of the world's disposed condoms." While the Condom Reef is growing in popularity amongst single science tourists, the Blobs are likely to remain the preferred destination for family vacations. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-05 Ig Nobel News a. If you have nominations for this year's Ig Nobel Prizes send them in NOW. The Ig Nobel Committee is engaged in its final rounds of deliberations, disputations and recriminations. All nominations will be handled with strictest confidence. The criterion is the same as always: ten Prizes will be awarded "for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." Many of the winners will journey to Harvard on October 3 to receive their due. Bless them. b. No matter who you are, no mater where you are (though depending somewhat on what you are), reserve the evening of Thursday, October 3. We will be televising the ceremony live over the Internet. Details will be announced later this summer. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-06 The Strange Return of Karpook Words, once written, have a way of reappearing. In May 1993, our editor published the following item in the magazine that he was then editing: The "Teach Or I'll Leave" (TOIL) movement is gaining momentum. The movement was inspired by David Karpook, who as a Harvard undergraduate in the 1970's walked out of his Physics 12 class whenever the lecturer stopped making sense. In recent years the idea has spread to campuses across North America and thence to Europe, the Middle East and Africa. In recent months students at several Japanese technical universities have taken up the practice. It is now 1996. Intrigued as always by the name "Karpook," we recently did a web search for that most euphonious of monickers. The search turned up, among other things, the entire passage that you just read. However, the words have somehow found their way into the middle of a book entitled "A Guide to the Philosophy of Objectivism." Objectivism is a philosophy devised by the comic novelist Ayn Rand. The author of "A Guide to the Philosophy of Objectivism" is identified as "David King" from Milford, Wyoming. The entire book is on-line, and can be found at: http://infosys.home.vix.com/pub/objectivism/Writing/DavidKing/Guid eToObjectivism/ The Karpook passage appears --verbatim -- in Chapter 12, which is entitled "The Disastrous State of American Education." The Karpook story is presented as being fact -- indeed King offers it as a crucial piece of evidence to support his argument. This is a curious and lovely thing. When the Karpook item originally appeared (in 1993), it was clearly labeled "Scientific Gossip -- Contains 100% Gossip From Concentrate." Yon bonny editor admits that he concocted it from a bare breath of fact: There was (and is) a David Karpook, and David Karpook did walk out of his Physics 12 class whenever he lost the thread of a lecture. But sad to say, there was no mass movement based on David Karpook's actions. Perhaps there should be. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-07 Non-Ivory Tower Research The Disney organization has produced a new movie version of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." The news inspired a Drexel University physicist to send us this report: With the advent of a new movie this summer, I proudly announce that I believe in the Quasimodo principle: I back my hunches. Sincerely yours, (name withheld by insistence) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-08 Mammoth Adventure Continues... The interminable ("intolerable" according to one reader) limerick saga of the mammoth, the paleoanthropologist mom, her paleo-baby and the snake continues: Mom grunted a frightened lament And reached for a rock which she sent With aim so fine She struck it mid-line: Success met her half-asped attempt! --Miriam Bloom ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-09 Genuine Genuinely Odd Units Project Data continues to waft in for our list of odd but genuine units of measurement. Here is a further sampling. THE CLO and THE TOG, defined in J.R. Mather's "Climatology: Fundamentals and Applications" [1974] as follows: "units measuring the thermal insulation value of clothing. The clo defines the insulation value of clothing that would allow a heat flow of 1 kg cal m^-2 with a temperature gradient across the fabric of 0.16 degrees C. An ordinary wool business suit has an insulation value of approximately 1 clo. The Tog also describes the thermal resistance of clothing; 1 Tog = 0.645 clo and is equivalent in insulation to light summer clothing." (Submitted by investigator Katherine Klink) THE HAIR, a measurement unit used in the construction of the Daedalus human-powered aircraft. Referring to the movements of a computer-controlled X-Y plotter that cut polystyrene foam for the leading edges of the wings, the hair was a unit that involved aspects of electrical current, power, temperature and/or angle. (Submitted by investigator Jean-Joseph Cote) FROG UNITS, defined in "The Dent Dictionary of Measurement" as follows: "In the mid- to late 1800s, a measure of the potency of digitalis doeses (for heart irregularities) according to the number of live, captive frogs that were rendered comatose or killed." (Submitted by investigator Roderick Ashton) If you know of a genuine genuinely odd unit of measurement -- AND CAN DOCUMENT IT -- please mail or fax the documentation to: Genuine Genuinely Odd Units Project Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853 Cambridge MA 02228 USA FAX:617-661-0927 (If you would like acknowledgment that we received the documentation, please include your e-mail address.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-10 The Heat About Hot Peppers Many, many, many, many, many readers wrote, wrote, wrote, wrote, wrote in to point out the typographical errors in our report about the units used to rank the hotness of hot peppers. The units are actually called "Scoville Units." Thank you to all the many leather-tongued investigators who e-mailed, snail-mailed, faxed, phoned, and in two cases physically pursued us to clarify the point. The name honors its creator, Wilbur Scoville. Quite a few people pointed out that Habanero peppers are much hotter than Halipeno peppers. They also pointed out that, in the hands of competent typists, Halipeno peppers are often called "Jalepeno" peppers. Those who seek more information can find it in many places, among them: http://www.xensei.com/users/clp/scoville.html http://www.cybersauce.com/knowldge.htm http://www.emall.com/Chile/Chile6.html http://www.nbn.com/starving_artists/lotsa-hotsa/heat_scale.html http://chile.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu:8000/www/scoville_inf.html ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-11 Matters of Taste: Reports From the Field Investigator Marcus Brooks writes in reference to AIR's report about experimental findings of how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood: I'm rather more concerned about the speed of a mole's ass in January. The speed of mole asses in January is an oft-used but rarely quantified standard in important discussions, usually relating to Government. Yet nobody subjects this standard to the light of close scrutiny. Why? Investigator Paul Brandon writes: I think that there was a typographic error in the 1996-05-15 "May We Recommend..." section. The title of the article "Theoretical analysis of aggressive golf putts," should have been: "Theoretical analysis of aggressive golf *putz*, concerning the predicted clustering of said putzes at the 19th hole. Last month's issue of mini-AIR also induced the following message: The message you sent contained unacceptable language and was edited by system before it was read. Please amend message if it was important. Yarra Valley Anglican School Melbourne Australia ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-12 AIRhead Project 2000 As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling a list of everything that has 2000 as part of its name. The following items were randomly selected: ITEM #SPRAYME-035 (submitted by investigator Mendell) "Turbo Spa 2000," a shower head which uses the Bernoulli principle to provide a very satisfying spray at low flow rates. ITEM #NAILITDOWN-338 (submitted by investigator R. Brinkman) "Kryptonite 2000," a new model bicycle lock which extends the manufacturer's warranty to cover NYC. ITEM #COLDASA-UM-34k (submitted by investigator Steve Folvari) "Siberia 2000," a trade fair planned for Linz, Austria. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-13 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR itself.) "Effects of wild pig rooting in a deciduous forest," F.J.Singer, W.T.Swank and E.E.C.Clebsch, "Journal of Wildlife Management," vol. 48, no. 2, 1984, pp. 464-73. (Thanks to intrepid investigator Wendy Cooper for bringing this to our attention.) "Should you brush your teeth on 6 November, 1984?", A. Wuffle, "Political Science," vol. 17, 1984, pp. 577-81. (Thanks to investigator Mark Pack for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 1996-06-14 AIRhead Events ==> PLEASE NOTE: To check for any late updates to this schedule send e-mail to our automatic-reply address: info@improb.com If you would like to host an improbable research event, please send e-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu *NOTE: It appears that one or more of the AIRheads will be in the SAN FRANCISCO area briefly in early September. If you would like to host a seminar, please get in touch with us soon! TEXAS MEDICAL SCHOOL, Houston Tues, Jul 9, 1:00 Internal Medicine Dept. Grand Rounds special session. MBL/BUMP, WOODS HOLE Wed, Sep 4 Seminar on Improbable Research and the Ig Nobel Prizes. All welcome. For info: Rainer Voigt 1996 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY, Harvard University Thurs Oct 3 Tickets for delegations and individuals will go on sale in September. NORTHEAST ASSN FOR INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH (NAIR) Sun, Nov 17 Princeton, NJ. For info: Brenda Bretz (bretz@dickinson.edu) 717-245-1316 From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on: ABC Television's "World News Now" Public Radio's "Living on Earth." ELSEWHERE ON THE NET: * Our home page ("Hot AIR") is at http:///www.improb.com * AOL subscribers can see selected AIR articles by signing on, then going to keyword "IMPROB" * If your Internet provider subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups, you can read a weekly column of extracts from AIR: clari.tw.columns.imprb_research ---------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- BELOW THIS POINT: STANDARD REFERNCE INFO THAT APPEARS IN EVERY ISSUE OF mini-AIR ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-15 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Amaze your colleagues. Delight your friends. Impress yourself. Subscribe to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)! "AIR is one of the finest contributions to western civilization.... AIR exposes the soft underbelly of science -- and gives it a damn good tickling.... You can't afford to be left out." -"Wired" magazine ============================================== Rates (in US dollars) USA 1 year - $19.95 2 years - $34.95 Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45 Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70 [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 air@improb.com ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-16 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) mini-AIR is a monthly electronic newsletter of overflow tidbits from The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). It is available over the Internet, free of charge. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated 950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706 ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-06-17 Our Address (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com WORLD WIDE WEB: http://www.improb.com/ We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it. If you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a SASE in all printed correspondence. --------------------------- 1996-06-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1996, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu) WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http:/www.improb.com/ COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CHIEF RESEARCH LIBRARIAN: Michael Rissinger OFFICIAL PROOF PROF: Jodie Hebert INTERNS: Anne Lewis, Aaron Daulton CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Craig Haggart, Greg Kinney, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel, Mark Taylor MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow & William Lipscomb ============================================================