PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1996-10 October, 1996 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1996-10-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1996-10-01 Table of Contents 1996-10-02 mini Housekeeping Note 1996-10-03 Ig Nobel on Science Friday and C-SPAN 1996-10-04 The 1996 Ig Nobel Prizewinners 1996-10-05 Foot Mixup, and Missing Fauna 1996-10-06 Call for Swimsuit Photos 1996-10-06 AIRhead Project 2000 1996-10-07 May We Recommend... 1996-10-08 AIRhead Events 1996-10-09 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 1996-10-10 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 1996-10-11 Our Address (*) 1996-10-12 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-02 mini Housekeeping Note AIR is looking for a few good interns to help with library research, editorial matters, and public and private relations. If you are in the Cambridge area and would like to help out, please get in touch us at or 617-491-4437. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-03 Ig Nobel on Science Friday and C-SPAN 3. If you were not one of the fortunate (?) 1200 organisms who crawled, or wiggled, or walked, or flew into the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony on Oct. 3 at Harvard's Sanders Theater, take heart. Special edited versions will be broadcast on: * National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation / Science Friday with Ira Flatow" on Friday, Nov. 29. * The television network C-SPAN, probably in November. (C-SPAN plan to broadcast it some time after the American Presidential election -- that is, some time after November 5. For exact date&time, call the C-SPAN hotline 202-628-2205 or consult their web site http://c-span.org A full report on the event will be published in the Jan/Feb 1997 issue of The Annals of Improbable Research. And yes, videotapes of the event will (most likely) be available fairly soon. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-04 The 1996 Ig Nobel Prizewinners Here are the winners of the 1996 Ig Nobel Prizes, presented at the Sixth First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, held at Sanders Theater, Harvard University on Thursday evening, October 3, 1996. The Prizes were handed out by genuine Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, William Lipscomb, and others. The Prizes honor people whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced." The event was reluctantly presented by The Annals of Improbable Research (which has been described as "the MAD Magazine of science"). This year it was also co-sponsored by the Harvard Computer Society, Tangents (the Harvard-Radcliffe mathematical bulletin), and the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Association. This year's ceremony was embroiled in controversy -- Sir Robert May, the science advisor to the British government, had asked the organizers to stop giving Ig Nobel Prizes to scientists, even when the scientists want to receive them. Nevertheless, this year's Ig Nobel roster included yet another prizewinner from England. This year's ceremony also featured the world premiere of "Lament Del Cockroach," a mini-opera starring mezzo-sopranos Margot McLaughlin and scientist/Supermodel Symmetra as cockroaches and the Nobel Laureates as insects eager to mate. At the opera's conclusion, a meteorite from Mars eradicated the roaches while three plants sang Handel's Hallelujah Chorus ("Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! The roaches are gone!") and Earth's other life forms danced the macarena. Here are the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize winners: BIOLOGY Anders Baerheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of Bergen, Norway, for their tasty and tasteful report, "Effect of Ale, Garlic, and Soured Cream on the Appetite of Leeches." [The report was published in "British Medical Journal," vol. 309, Dec 24-31, 1994, p. 1689.] Drs. Baerheim and Sandvik sent a videotaped acceptance speech, and watched the ceremony live on the Internet. MEDICINE James Johnston of R.J. Reynolds, Joseph Taddeo of U.S. Tobaccco, Andrew Tisch of Lorillard, William Campbell of Philip Morris, and the late Thomas E. Sandefur, Jr., chairman of Brown and Williamson Tobacco Co. for their unshakable discovery, as testified before the US Congress, that nicotine is not addictive. PHYSICS Robert Matthews of Aston University, England, for his studies of Murphy's Law, and especially for demonstrating that toast always falls on the buttered side. [The report, "Tumbling toast, Murphy's Law and the fundamental constants" was published in "European Journal of Physics," vol.16, no.4, July 18, 1995, p. 172-6.] Professor Matthews sent an audiotaped acceptance speech. PEACE Jacques Chirac, President of France, for commemorating the fiftieth anniversary of Hiroshima with atomic bomb tests in the Pacific. PUBLIC HEALTH Ellen Kleist of Nuuk, Greenland and Harald Moi of Oslo, Norway, for their cautionary medical report "Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll." [The report was published in "Genitourinary Medicine," vol. 69, no. 4, Aug. 1993, p. 322.] Dr. Moi traveled from Oslo to Cambridge -- at his own expense -- to accept the Prize. During the trip, Dr. Moi also delivered a lecture at Harvard Medical School about his achievement. CHEMISTRY George Goble of Purdue University, for his blistering, world record time for igniting a barbeque grill -- three seconds, using charcoal and liquid oxygen. Professor Goble's colleague Joe Cychosz traveled to Cambridge to accept the Prize. BIODIVERSITY Chonosuke Okamura of the Okamura Fossil Laboratory in Nagoya, Japan, for discovering the fossils of dinosaurs, horses, dragons, princesses, and more than 1000 other extinct "mini-species," each of which is less than 1/100 of an inch in length. [For details see the series "Reports of the Okamura Fossil Laboratory," published by the Okamura Fossil Laboratory in Nagoya, Japan during the 1970s and 1980s.] LITERATURE The editors of the journal "Social Text," for eagerly publishing research that they could not understand, that the author said was meaningless, and which claimed that reality does not exist. [The paper was "Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity," Alan Sokal, "Social Text," Spring/Summer 1996, pp. 217-252.] ECONOMICS Dr. Robert J. Genco of the University of Buffalo for his discovery that "financial strain is a risk indicator for destructive periodontal disease." ART Don Featherstone of Fitchburg, Massachusetts, for his ornamentally evolutionary invention, the plastic pink flamingo. Mr. Featherstone traveled to Cambridge to accept the Prize. The ceremony also included an auction of plaster casts of the left feet of four Nobel Laureates, and several tributes to the concept of "Biodiversity." Thirteen-year old Kate Eppers, spokesperson for the Committee for Bacterial Rights, said: "We live in a diverse society. Our biggest ethnic groups are not the Asians, the Africans or the Caucasians. Our biggest ethnic groups are the Bacteria. I used to wash my hands every day. My mom made me. But then I learned about ethnic cleansing. Every time you wash your hands, you wipe out billions and billions of Bacteria. That's not fair. Bacteria have rights, too. So let's be grown-ups about this. When mom asks you to wash your hands, just say No." Further details -- including shocking photos -- will be posted in our web site (http://www.improb.com) during the coming months. ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-05 Foot Mixup, and Missing Fauna A grievous mixup has occurred. Will the man who claimed the foot of Nobel Laureate Richard Roberts in the Ig Nobel Auction please contact the editors of AIR.... YOU HAVE THE WRONG FOOT! The real owner of Dr. Roberts's faux foot is eager to swap extremities with you. As part of the Ig Nobel Ceremony, we (actually auctioneer Lin Calista of Cornucopia Auction Sales) auctioned off plaster casts of the left feet of Nobel Laureates Sheldon Glashow (physics '79), Dudley Herschbach (chemistry '86), William Lipscomb (chemistry '76), and Richard Roberts (physiology or medicine '93), and the foot (we're not sure which one) of scientist/supermodel Symmetra. All proceeds are being used for the science programs of the Cambridge Public Schools. If you purchased one of the feet, please get in touch with us so that we can list you in our Registry of Owners of Laureate Partial Facsimiles, and so that we may rectify this embarrassing misstep. All five winning bidders are invited to attend next year's ceremony at their own expense, where they can come on stage and play with their feet. * * * Will the persons who (inadvertantly, we're sure) removed the large plastic cows, penguins and other animals from the stage after the ceremony please return them. No quesions will be asked; no grudges will be held; no animal abuse charges will be filed. But please, we need those poor critters back. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-06 Call for Swimsuit Photos This is a call for photos to be included in AIR's ANNUAL SWIMSUIT ISSUE. Age, sex, physical condition, and area of specialization are no barriers to entry. Black & white photos are preferred, but anything will do. Please send your photos to: Annals of Improbable Research Attn: Swimsuit Issue Editor PO Box 380853 Cambridge MA 02238 USA Please include a stamped, self-addressed envelope, so that we may favor you with a reply. The photos themselves will not be returned to you, but neither will they be used for blackmail or related endeavors. ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-06 AIRhead Project 2000 As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling a list of everything that has 2000 as part of its name. ITEM #JEEVES-54 (submitted by multiple investigators) "English 2000," a British Council initiative to promote the teaching of British English rather than American English as a foreign/second language abroad. ITEM #NEWSWAMP-89223 (submitted by investigators Frances Hannan and D. Luckett) "Peddar 2000," a plan to drain the Peddar Dam in Tasmania, Australia . ITEM #FRANCAIS-21-990 (submitted by investigator Pete Kaiser) "Cles 2000," a locksmith in Nice, France. ITEM #NOCHICKEN-09 (submitted by investigator Tobias Gmelin) "KSC 2000," a project to lead the Karlsruher Sport-Club major league soccer team into the next millennium. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-07 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR itself.) "On journeys to the Moon by balloon," Walter Simon, "Classical Quantum Gravitation," vol. 10, 1993, pp. 177-181. (Thanks to Tom Roberts and Lisa Herschbach for bringing this to our attention.) The abstract reads in part: "We give inequalities for the equation of state of a static perfect fluid in Newton's theory and in an asymptotically flat spacetime in relativity which ensure finite extension of the fluid region. In the relativistic case, our condition is closely related to one which is known to imply, for given surface potential, uniqueness of the solution (when its existence is assumed). Our results cast doubts on reported early journeys to the Moon." ------------------------------------------------------------ 1996-10-08 AIRhead Events ==> Updates of this schedule are available from info@improb.com Want to host an event? E-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu NORTHEAST ASSN FOR INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH Sun, Nov 17 Special presentation at the NAIR meeting at Princeton, NJ. For info: Brenda Bretz (bretz@dickinson.edu) 717-245-1316 C-SPAN Date To Be Announced Broadcast of an edited version of the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. C-SPAN plan to broadcast it some time after the American Presidential election -- that is, some time after November 5. For exact date & time, call the C-SPAN hotline 202-628-2205 or consult their web site http://c-span.org TALK OF THE NATION/SCIENCE FRIDAY (NPR) Fri, Nov 29 Broadcast of an edited version of the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Check your local NPR station for exact time. The broadcast will also be posted on the SciFri home page. AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE Mon. Feb. 17, '97 American Association for the Advancement Of Science will host and/or tolerate a special evening presentation on "Improbable Research and the Ig Nobel Prizes." HARVARD SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH GATHERING Fri, Mar. 7, '97 Special presentation, about improbable research and the Ig Nobel Prizes, at the Harvard Faculty Club. ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-09 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a magnificent bi- monthly print journal. (What you have been reading in mini-AIR are little bits of overflow material that we couldn't fit into the magazine.) Here's how to subscribe to the real thing! Rates (in US dollars) USA 1 year - $23 2 years - $39 Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45 Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70 [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 air@improb.com ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-10 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. It is NOT a tiny version of AIR -- rather, it is overflow from the real magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated 950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706 ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-10-11 Our Address (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com WORLD WIDE WEB: http://www.improb.com/ We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it. If you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a SASE in all printed correspondence. From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on ABC Television's "World News Now" and Public Radio's "Living on Earth." ELSEWHERE ON THE NET: * USENET: a weekly column appears in clari.tw.columns.imprb_research * AOL: Special extracts are available. Goto keyword "IMPROB" --------------------------- 1996-10-12 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1996, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu) PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS: Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http://www.improb.com/ COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Craig Haggart, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================