PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1997-11 November, 1997 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1997-11-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1997-11-01 Table of Contents 1997-11-02 mini-Housekeeping Notes 1997-11-03 What's New in AIR 1997-11-04 Million Microbe March - UPDATE 1997-11-05 Time for Swimsuits 1997-11-06 The 1997 Ig Winners Update 1997-11-07 More About Bites 1997-11-08 Tower of Babel Project 2000: Korean Language Plea 1997-11-09 Toe Inquiry 1997-11-10 Under the Lash 1997-11-11 Stir up the AIR 1997-11-12 Barney: Sibling Rivalry? 1997-11-13 Porcine Time & Space; Flies Across Germany 1997-11-14 The Best of George: PO'd 1997-11-15 AIRhead Project 2000 1997-11-16 May We Recommend 1997-11-17 AIRhead Events 1997-11-18 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 1997-11-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 1997-11-20 Our Address (*) 1997-11-21 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. This is mini-AIR, a free monthly *supplement* to the print magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). ---------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-02 mini-Housekeeping notes 1. IG ON RADIO NOV 28. This year's Ig ceremony will be broadcast (in editred form) on Nov 28 on National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation Science Friday" program. For details (and an eventual audio archive!) see the SciFri web site www.sciencefriday.com 2. VANISHED EMAIL. Due to a mini-El Nino event in mini-cyberspace, about a week's worth or incoming email disappeared before reaching our editorial address . ------------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-07 More About Bites Investigator E. Berg writes in reaction to our report about medical case histories involving bitten-off body parts: "This isn't a medical report, but it pertains. This is from Irving Stone's "Clarence Darrow for the Defense". The wording is a little skewed." Clarence Darrow once witnessed the trial of a man accused of biting off another man's ear. The lawyer asked the sole uninvolved witness, "did you see my client bite the man's ear off?", to which the witness replied, "No, sir." The lawyer continued "You mean to tell me that you didn't actually even see the man's ear getting bitten off?" "Yes, sir." "Then how can you be so all-fire sure he did bite it off?" The witness calmly answered, "Well, sir, I saw him spit it out." ------------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-08 Tower of Babel Project 2000: Korean Language Plea The Universal History Translation Project (UHTP) is seeking a Korean Language translation of "The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less." The History has now been translated into more than 20 Languages. Contact Eric Schulman , the UHTP project manager. The UHTP homepage can be found at http://www.cv.nrao.edu/~eschulma/histcom.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-09 Toe Inquiry Would the person who successfully bid on the set of five plaster casts of toes of Scientist/Supermodel Symmetra please get in touch with us? We want to include you in our Registry of Pedal Objects. The toes were auctioned off, together with plaster left feet from three Nobel Laureates, at the recent Ig ceremony. ------------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-10 Under the Lash Investigator Betsy Caruso (who says she "just happens to have naturally long and hefty lashes") has sent in a novel analysis of the product name "2000 Calorie Mascara." Here is Caruso's report: 1. Mascara is worn to make one's eyelashes appear as long, dark and thick as possible. 2. Calories are associated, especially among women who prize a slender figure above all others, with the production of fat, bulk, thickness, "more-ness". (See #1.) 3. Calories are also associated with forbidden pleasure, since many of our favorite foods are high in calories, but must be avoided in order to achieve the physiological ideal. (See #2) 4. Therefore, a decadent-sounding name on a non-food product that implies that it imparts extra dimension only where it is wished for, is an effective and powerfully attractive way to create desirability in that product. I think the advertisers are going for the idea that wearing 2000 calorie mascara is a way of "cheating" (as on a diet) without "getting caught" (i.e., getting fat where you don't want it). That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it. ------------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-11 Stir up the AIR One or more AIRheads will be presenting lectures, slide shows, etc., at various places at various times. Many are in connection with the splendid new book "The Best of Annals of Improbable Research," edited by Marc Abrahams (New York: W.H. Freeman, 1997; ISBN 0-7167-3094-4). If you are at least vaguely near one of them and would like to host an event at around one of these times, please get in touch ASAP Updates of this schedule are available from info@improb.com Want to host an event? E-mail to IG BROADCAST ON SCIENCE FRIDAY Fri, Nov 28 NPR's "Talk of the Nation / Science Friday" program with Ira Flatow. Annual broadcast of an edited version of the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. INFO: www.sciencefriday.com AIR Tour of America Schedule to be announced. If you would like to host an event, please email AAAS ANNUAL MEETING Sat, Feb 14, evening 8:45 pm, Marriott Hotel, Philadelphia. AIR authors Marc Abrahams, Earle Spamer, Len Finegold, Eric Schulman, et al. will present their annual special session as part of the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting. (If you would like to schedule another AIR event near this this time and place, please get in touch with us.) MIT, Special Event. Feb. (date/place to be announced) Details TBA. SPECIAL RESEARCH TALK March 12 This is a special event for a group of scientists near Cincinnati, Ohio. (If you would like to schedule your own event around this time, please get in touch with us.) ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN IN SCIENCE MEETING,SAN DIEGO APR 4 Special improbable research seminar as part of the AWIS meeting. INFO: Isabel Corcos . (If you would like to schedule another AIR event near this this time and place, please get in touch with us.) 1998 WESTERN PSYCHOLOGY ASSOCIATION / ROCKY MOUNTAIN PSYCHOLOGY ASSOCIATION JOINT CONVENTION Fri, April 17, 1988, 1:00 pm Hyatt Regency Hotel, Albuquerque Convention Center, Albuquerque, NM. (If you would like to schedule another AIR event near this this time and place, please get in touch with us.) ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-18 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research -- (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR) ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ USA 1 year/$23 2 years/$39 Canada/Mexico 1 year/$27 US 2 years/$45 US Overseas 1 year/$40 US 2 years/$70 US [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the USA, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 air@improb.com ----------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. It is NOT a tiny version of AIR -- rather, it is overflow from the real magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated 950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706 ----------------------------------------------------- 1997-11-20 Our Address (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com WORLD WIDE WEB: http://www.improb.com/ We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it. If you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a SASE in all printed correspondence. A monthly column of improbable computer-related items appears on the back page of Byte magazine. ELSEWHERE ON THE NET: * USENET: a weekly column appears in clari.tw.columns.imprb_research --------------------------- 1997-11-21 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1997, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http://www.improb.com/ COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Craig Haggart, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================