PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1999-09 September, 1999 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1999-09-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1999-09-01 Table of Contents 1999-09-02 mini-Housekeeping 1999-09-03 This Month in The Magazine 1999-09-04 Teachers' Guide 1999-09-05 Ig Nobel Just Days Away! 1999-09-06 The Word on GM Crops 1999-09-07 Slothful 1999-09-08 ETHICS (1): The Low Down 1999-09-09 ETHICS (2): Bless the Lawyers 1999-09-10 ETHICS (3): The Public Speaks 1999-09-11 PHYSICS 1: Model Symmetry Violation 1999-09-12 PHYSICS 2: A New History of Time 1999-09-13 PHYSICS 3: Cosmology With Cheese 1999-09-14 Annals of Design 1999-09-15 You in a Swimsuit? 1999-09-16 SURVEY: Tsk-Tsk Tasks 1999-09-17 International Hospitality 1999-09-18 Project AIRhead 2000: Cool, High, Dramatic, Bikers 1999-09-19 Harvard Falls to 2nd Place 1999-09-20 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Ears, Wiggles & Ice Cream 1999-09-21 AIRhead Events 1999-09-22 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 1999-09-23 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 1999-09-24 Our Address (*) 1999-09-25 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-02 mini-Housekeeping The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, which will be TELECAST LIVE on the Internet, will take place on Thurs night, Sept. 30. FULL DETAILS: www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html SUMMARY: see section 1999-09-05 below ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-03 This Month in the Magazine AIR 5:5 (September/October 1999) is the long-awaited special "BEARDED MENÓ" issue. Contents include: "The Bearded Men Gallery," by D.T. Falarope and G.S. Doranne. A collection of group and individual photos of bearded men around the world. "Of Men and Beards," by Alice Shirrell Kaswell. A stirring review of the scientific literature abut beards and bearded men. "Nobel Thoughts: Russell Hulse," by Marc Abrahams. In this exclusive interview, the handsomely bearded 1993 Nobel Physics Prize winner reveals his candid thoughts about blackboards, chalk, and who should receive an Ig Nobel Prize. "Ask Symmetra," by scientist/supermodel Symmetra. In this installment of her regular advice column, Symmetra calculates the resisting force in a reader's fluid, conspicuously viscous relationship. These and many, many other articles and features are in the current issue of AIR. You are, of course, invited to subscribe to that splendid magazine. (What you are reading at this moment, of course, is mini-AIR, a tiny, monthly, electronic supplement to the gigantico print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-04 Teachers' Guide This teachers' guide appears in every issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. By popular request, we also reprint it once or twice a year here in mini-AIR. We hope you will send a copy to any teacher who might benefit: TEACHERS' GUIDE Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing, especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers, AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite hAIR- raising article and give copies to your students. The approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the universe behaves. So: <> Is this scientist right Ñ and what does ÒrightÓ mean, anyway? <> Can you think of even one different explanation that works as well or better? <> Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely test what the author thought he was testing? <> Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself about how well his idea explains everything, or could he be suffering from wishful thinking? <> Some people might say this is foolish. Should you take their word for it? <> Other people might say this is absolutely correct and important. Should you take their word for it? ***Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way.*** ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-05 Ig Nobel Just Days Away! The Ninth 1st Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony is coming up in just a few days -- on Thursday evening, September 30. For full details, see the official Ig home page www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html Here are a few of the details: <> TICKETS: A very few are still available. Call the Harvard Box Office at Holyoke Center (617-496-2222) <> DELEGATIONS: If you want to bring a delegation, get cracking! The deadline to register a delegation is MONDAY, Sept 27. See the home page for details. <> LIVE TELECAST on the Internet: all you need is RealPlayer software (it's free!) and a 56K or faster connection. Thank you to our biological and chemical friends at HMS Beagle [www.hmsbeagle.com] and The Alchemist [www.ChemWeb.com/alchemist] for help in doing the broadcast. SEVEN of the ten new winners are coming, from three continents, at their own expense, to attend both the Prize ceremony and the Ig Informal Lectures two days later. The schedule: Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony (Sanders Theatre, Harvard) And live telecast thereof Thurs, Sept. 30, 7:30 pm (Boston time) The Ig Lectures (Kresge Little Theatre, MIT) Sat, Oct. 2, 1:00 pm Ig Medical Lecture (Harvard Medical School) Mon, Oct. 4, 5:00 pm We repeat: for details see www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-06 The Word on GM Crops This month's Scientific Correctness Survey concerns genetically modified ("GM") crops. As with all our Scientific Correctness Surveys, this will settle a complex issue by means of a simple public opinion survey. Then we can all move on. Happily, in the case of GM crops this approach seems to be the official one for everyone on all sides of the issue. Here, then, is this month's survey question. Please choose one (and only one) of the following: 1) GM crops are beneficial and risk-free, and must not be restricted 2) GM crops are vile and dangerous, and must be banned 3) I am undecided, and therefore opt for Choice #1 4) I am undecided, and therefore opt for Choice #2 Please send your vote to ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-07 Slothful Do you possess more than 10,000 (ten thousand) three-toed sloths? If so, we would enjoy hearing from you. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-08 ETHICS (1): The Low Down Last month's AIRhead Ethics Puzzler Question -- about plagiarism - - inspired many readers. (The question is based on the real-life touching tale of a New York mother whose high-school student son's papers are written by his sister, a computer-science major at Cornell University.) THE QUESTION: If you had four college-attending siblings, and were forced to choose JUST ONE of them to write your papers for you, then ETHICALLY which one should you choose? 1. A sibling who attends a prestigious college 2. A sibling who is a sister 3. A sibling who refuses to accept payment for written work 4. A sibling who is a computer science major Before discussing the vote, let us consider some of the more philosophical responses: "Why not ask all four? Tell each of them they were the only one, pay none of them and stop worrying about this 'forced' stuff. Ethics schmethics." --Cronin B. Vining "I would get a paper from each sibling, then pick the best pieces. Thus I do 'research,' and not plagiarism. [reference: Tom Lehrer]" --Dave Cassell "I suspected there is some linguistic trap here. Please let me know the correct answer, if there is one." --Norman Fruman "Your Ethics Puzzle reminds me of the small boy arraigned before his teacher who accused him of submitting an essay entitled "My Dog" which was in every respect identical to his brother's opus. The young lady was quick-witted enough to offer the explanation that this was because it was the same dog." --David Cooke ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-09 ETHICS (2): Bless the Lawyers Two respondents had gleefully legalistic takes: "I'm afraid I must disagree with the mother... If the child did NOT pay for the work, then it IS the sister's work and the boy IS guilty of passing another person's work as his own. His classmates BOUGHT their papers, therefore, they own them... and thus, they are turning in their own work!" --Bob Smallwood "I don't believe the lad committed plagiarism at all, if we define plagiarism as incorporating the unadulterated words of others into one's own work, without the permission of the original author and without so noting in the work. In the cited case: 1) The boy had no work of his own into which the words of others were incorporated. The entire work was that of his sister. 2) The usage was by permission of the original author, or at least by parental proxy, which is deeply rooted in ancient Anglo-Saxon common law. This, therefore, is not standard plagiarism, but rather a more specific form of work avoidance we might call "cheating by slyboots-gift proxy." --Mike Sharsky ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-10 ETHICS (3): The Public Speaks The vote broke down as follows. Here are percentages, and representative comments. -----> #1 PRESTIGIOUS COLLEGE (3%) <----- "Future academicians should learn to feel comfortable with plagiarism early on in their academic careers, especially if they intend to publish regularly." --name mangled by the crack AIR secretarial staff -----> #2 A SISTER (12%) <----- "Sisters are not really humans (and exist only to serve their brothers). Thus work prepared by a non-person counts as inspiration and cannot be plagiarism." --Kathryn Hickey. "But only if she doesn't attend a prestigious college, doesn't study computer science, and requires payment, because she is most likely to produce an intelligible paper." --Chris Jenkins -----> #3 SIB WHO REFUSES PAYEMENT (61%) <----- "I think I would go for The sibling who refuses to accept payment. Thus I would end up saving a lot. " --someone named Viatfoam -----> #4 COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR (24%) <----- "Ethically number 4, a sibling who is a computer science major since you would gain no unfair advantage from their writing savvy. Sad, but true." --Mike Thurber "My pick would be the sibling who is the Computer Science major. Said sibling would probably know how to use the spell-check." --Barbara Cramer ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-11 PHYSICS 1: Model Symmetry Violation Physicists use the concept of symmetry in trying to make sense of the universe. They are ever on the watch for -- and ever-intrigued by -- apparent symmetry violations. Investigator Sigmund Katz has spotted one: "The August 99 issue of mini-AIR implies that Symmetra is a scientist/supermodel, hence a person (am I assuming too much?). This link suggests otherwise: http://www.csipower.com/APC/overview.htm " ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-12 PHYSICS 2: A New History of Time Physicists, some of them, also plumb the nature of time. Investigator Clynch Varnadore has found a puzzling anomaly: "I was just reading mini-AIR when I noticed that one of the place names used was New South Wales. I began to wonder about that name. I had understood that a product or service could only use the word "New" for a 6 month period before that appellation had to be dropped. Are the rules different in the UK? Could you do some improbable research around this? While you're at it, what about New York, New Mexico, New Jersey, etc?" ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-13 PHYSICS 3: Cosmology With Cheese The universe continues to offer up surprises. Investigator Mark Mandel, using a pair of optical instruments, has discovered a new one: "Seen on the wall menu of a pizzeria in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, under the heading 'sandwiches': ALL COSMOS EXTRA 15 "On inquiring, I was informed that [approx. transcr.] 'a cosmo... you put it in the oven to heat it up.' So, apparently any sandwich can be made into a cosmo by heating it up in the oven for 15 cents additional." ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-14 Annals of Design Our esteemed webmaster and Global Village Idiot, Amy Gorin, had completed the basic internal technical re-design of the AIR home page www.improbable.com Next comes some cosmetic touches, a bringing up to date of the archives, and the addition of some niftily improbable new features. Huzzahs and brickbats should be directed to ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-15 You in a Swimsuit? If you want to be included (photographically) in AIR's annual Swimsuit issue, send us your photos! Soon! Vite, vite! Ooh, la,la. The address: Swimsuit Editor Annals of Improbable Research PO Box 380853 Cambridge MA 02238 USA ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-16 SURVEY: Tsk-Tsk Tasks We are conducting the first and last Tsk-Tsk Survey of the twentieth century. The idea was suggested by investigator John Bell: "I was watch a natural history program on TV. A scientist was trying to find a natural method of stopping Kangaroos eating young trees and was testing the efficacy of dog's urine. To achieve this he had two assistants walking a dog around a field. One of the assistants was carry a container for use when the dog raised its leg. I am now wondering what other examples of really bizarre and/or disgusting jobs scientists inflict on their assistants and research students." If have pertinent entries for the Tsk-Tsk Survey, please send them to ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-17 International Hospitality Many readers responded generously to our request for places to house the new Ig Nobel Prizewinners when they journey to Harvard. Thank you. A few other readers generously responded. Most generous of all was Don Sanella of the University of Edinburgh: "I would be honoured, but please no prime ministers and definitely no Yugoslavian presidents. Tell him/her to take the number 41 bus, get off at the traffic lights and walk up the hill to the third house from the top on the right." ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-18 Project AIRhead 2000: Cool, High, Dramatic, Bikers Here is a further random selection from the Project AIRhead 2000 collection of things inexplicably named (in whole or in part) 2000. ITEM 0404040 (submitted by investigator A.K. Morton) AC2000, "Air Conditioning for the new millennium" in Hertford, England. ITEM 32 (submitted by investigator Joao Luiz DaCosta SPACEMAIL 2000, a mission of the German Post to send correspondence into space, using "technology developed by DaimlerChrysler Aerospace AG." (Details at http://www.postag.de/) ITEM 8402 (submitted by the interest-conflicted Mike Roam) MACBETH 2000, a "multi-media rock musical", which can be seen at "http://www.wcsu.ctstateu.edu/artsci/theatre/Theatre.html" ITEM 4106 (submitted by investigator David Duffy) PACT2000, the agreement signed in 1994 by 6 Australian biker clubs to eliminate or take over all opposition by 2000. (For details, see The Weekend Australian 21st Aug.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-19 Harvard Falls to 2nd Place There is a new leader in the AIRhead Big Number Competition (to discover which institution uses the largest number of digits in its accounting codes). Investigators Douglas Parker and Kathy Blair report that: "Lockheed Martin Information Systems has brilliantly expanded their original, spartan, 6-digit shop order number to a remarkable 38 digit account number." The previous leader, Harvard University, is now running a distant second, at 33 digits. It will be interesting to see if Harvard has the fortitude and will to catch up. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-20 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Ears, Wiggles & Ice Cream Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (For a much larger collection, see any issue of AIR.) VERY HARD OF HEARING "Glue Ear and Grommets," D. Isaacs, Medical Journal of Australia, June 15, 1992, vol. 156, no. 12, p. 884. (Thanks to Deborah Wacksman for bringing this to our attention.) PROBABLY WIGGLY "A Bayesian Approach to Wiggle-Matching," J.A. Christen, and C.D. Litton, Journal of Archaeological Science, vol. 22, no. 6, November 1, 1995, p. 719 ff. (Thanks to Mary and Phil Franzen for bringing this to our attention.) SWEET TREAT NONNEGATIVITY "Exponential Nonnegativity on the Ice Cream Cone," Ronald J. Stern and Henry Wolkowicz, SIAM journal on matrix analysis and applications, vol. 12, no. 1, January 1, 1991, p. 160. (Thanks to Lee Suhair for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 1999-09-21 AIRhead Events ==> Want to host an event? Call or E-mail 617-491-4437. ==> For updates of this schedule, see http://www.improbable.com ********** Ig Nobel Events *************************** 9TH FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY THURS, SEPT 30 7:30 pm. Sanders Theater, Harvard University. TICKETS: The Harvard Box Office at Holyoke Center 617-496-2222 INFO: www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html LIVE TELECAST: www.ignobel.org ANNUAL IG LECTURES SAT, OCT 2 1:00 pm. Kresge Little Theater, MIT Tickets available at the Ig Ceremony Thursday night and at the Saturday Ig Lectures. Seating very limited. INFO: http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL MON, OCT 4 5:00 pm. Carrie Hall, Brigham & Women's Hospital, 15 Francis St entrance on the main floor (floor 2). Special guest lecture by the 1999 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize winner, with tributes by Drs. ANDREA DUNAIF, JOANN MANSON, MICHAEL O'LEARY. INFO: Dr. Andrea Dunaif 617-732-8798 ********************************************************* NEW ENGLAND SKEPTICAL SOCIETY -- CONNECTICUT SAT, OCT 16 Details TBA INFO: Jon Blumenfeld http://www.theness.com/member.html AMERICAN VACUUM SOCIETY 46th INT'L SYMPOSIUM OCT 25-29 SEATTLE, at the Washington State Convention Center. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS and co-conspirators will be the plenary speakers. Session details TBA. Info: Pat Looney (301) 975-4806 UNIV OF WATERLOO, ONTARIO TUES, DEC 7 2:30 pm. Details TBA. INFO: Dan Berry CHEMICAL INSTITUTE OF CANADA, TORONTO SECTION WED, DEC. 8 8:30 pm. Univ. of Toronto, Erindale Campus 3359 Mississauga Rd. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present an underview of improbable research. Includes the classic slide show "PROFESSOR LIPSCOMB Goes Shopping." INFO: Jack Clark AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, WASHINGTON DC Fri evening, Feb 18, 2000 AIR authors will present their traditionally improbable session at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting. Featuring, among others, AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, "A Briefer History of Time" author ERIC SCHULMAN, and the more-or- less ORIGINAL CAST of one of the Ig Nobel mini-operas starring mezzo- soprano MARGOT BUTTON and various Nobel laureates. Further details TBA. |--- ADVANCE LISTING--| MEDICAL LIBRARY ASSOCIATION, UNIV OF UTAH Sept 9-15, 2002 Exact date and location(s) TBA. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present a lecture on improbable research at a meeting of the Midcontinental Chapter of the Medical Library Association (MCMLA), and be part of a panel discussion on electronic publishing. INFO: Kathleen McCloskey 801/585-5743 -------------------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-22 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research -- (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR) ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ USA 1 year/$23 2 years/$39 Canada/Mexico 1 year/$27 US 2 years/$45 US Overseas 1 year/$40 US 2 years/$70 US [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the USA, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 air@improbable.com ----------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-23 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. It is NOT a tiny version of AIR -- rather, it is a tiny supplement to the magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ----------------------------------------------------- 1999-09-24 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: http://www.improbable.com/ --------------------------- 1999-09-25 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1999, Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki Rohloff MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================