PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1999-10 October, 1999 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1999-10-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1999-10-01 Table of Contents 1999-10-02 mini-Housekeeping 1999-10-03 This Month in The Magazine 1999-10-04 The 1999 Ig Nobel Prize Winners 1999-10-05 Yes, We Now Have Bananas 1999-10-06 Sweetie Poo: A Technical Breakthrough 1999-10-07 Slothful: Correction 1999-10-08 Slothful: Animus 1999-10-09 Academic Happy-Happy Survey 1999-10-10 Another Boring Site 1999-10-11 Project AIRhead 2000: Sleuth, Boom, Butts 1999-10-12 Tsk, Tsk, Koala 1999-10-13 Blobs 1999-10-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Bad Breath and Eye, Parrot Foot 1999-10-15 AIRhead Events 1999-10-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 1999-10-17 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 1999-10-18 Our Address (*) 1999-10-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-02 mini-Housekeeping 1. AIR shows coming up (see Section 1999-10-15 for details): <> Yale Oct 16 <> Seattle Oct 25 2. Video of the Ig Nobel Prize ceremony is now on line at www.improbable.com ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-03 This Month in the Magazine AIR 5:5 (September/October 1999) is the long-awaited special "BEARDED MEN"" issue. Contents include: "Feline Reactions to Bearded Men," by Catherine Maloney et al. An updated version of the classic scientific report. The authors present newly discovered historical photos of felines reacting to Abraham Lincoln, Czar Nicholas, et al. "Control Variants in the Study of Feline Reactions to Bearded Men and Vice Versa," by Dylan Brody. A scathing commentary on the research efforts of Maloney et al. "Non-Feline Reactions to Bearded Men," by Alice Shirrell Kaswell. An incisive review of the scientific literature on beard research not involving cats. "Licensed Sex," by Marc Abrahams. A first person account by AIR's editor of how the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles altered his sex from M to F, and of how the state's then-governor, William Weld, then made a man of him. "Adolescent Dementia," by Karl F. Kuhn. The author presents evidence that adolescent dementia, long held to be a mental disorder of genetic origin, may actually be spread by an infectious agent. These and many, many other articles and features are in the current issue of AIR. You are, of course, invited to subscribe to that splendid magazine. (What you are reading at this moment, of course, is mini-AIR, a tiny, monthly, electronic supplement to the gigantico print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-04 The 1999 Ig Nobel Prize Winners The 1999 Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded at a gala ceremony at Harvard's Sanders Theatre on the night of September 30. Here are the new winners: * * * SOCIOLOGY: Steve Penfold, of York University in Toronto, for doing his PhD thesis on the sociology of Canadian donut shops. PHYSICS: Dr. Len Fisher of Bath, England and Sydney, Australia for calculating the optimal way to dunk a biscuit. ...and... Professor Jean-Marc Vanden-Broeck of the University of East Anglia, England, and Belgium, for calculating how to make a teapot spout that does not drip. LITERATURE: The British Standards Institution for its six-page specification (BS-6008) of the proper way to make a cup of tea. SCIENCE EDUCATION: The Kansas Board of Education and the Colorado State Board of Education, for mandating that children should not believe in Darwin's theory of evolution any more than they believe in Newton's theory of gravitation, Faraday's and Maxwell's theory of electromagnetism, or Pasteur's theory that germs cause disease. MEDICINE: Dr. Arvid Vatle of Stord, Norway, for carefully collecting, classifying, and contemplating which kinds of containers his patients chose when submitting urine samples. CHEMISTRY: Takeshi Makino, president of The Safety Detective Agency in Osaka, Japan, for his involvement with S-Check, an infidelity detection spray that wives can apply to their husbands' underwear. BIOLOGY: Paul Bosland of The Chile Pepper Institute, at New Mexico State University, Las Cruces, New Mexico, for breeding a spiceless jalapeno chile pepper. ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION: Hyuk-ho Kwon of Kolon Company of Seoul, Korea, for inventing the self-perfuming business suit. PEACE: Charl Fourie and Michelle Wong of Johannesburg, South Africa, for inventing an automobile burglar alarm consisting of a detection circuit and a flamethrower. MANAGED HEALTH CARE: The late George and Charlotte Blonsky of New York City and San Jose, California, for inventing a device (US Patent #3,216,423) to aid women in giving birth -- the woman is strapped onto a circular table, and the table is then rotated at high speed. * * * For details, see the AIR web site www.improbable.com CO-CONSPIRATORS: Thanks to the Harvard Computer Society (HCS) and the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Society (HRSFA), who co- sponsored the ceremony together with the Annals of Improbable Research. VIDEOCAST: Special thanks go to www.hmsbeagle.com and to the Alchemist (www.ChemWeb.com) for making possible the splendid live Internet telecast. You can see video of the ceremony at www.improbable.com Very special thanks to to the eight new Ig Nobel Prize winners who journeyed to Cambridge to collect their prizes and explain their work. All displayed imagination, panache, and a desire to help the public become interested in learning. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-05 Yes, We Now Have Bananas The Kansas and Colorado State Boards of Education, co-winners of this year's Ig Nobel Prize for Science Education, did not attend the ceremony. But in recent days, both have been actively promoting science education. A PRIZE ARRIVES IN KANSAS On October 11, Professor Douglas Ruden of the University of Kansas went to a meeting of the Kansas State Board of Education and formally presented the Board with its prize. You can read about the ensuing delight by going to the AIR press clippings page at http://www.improbable.com/scrapbook/press/press-top.html COLORADO SENDS A SALUTE On October 12, a florist delivered a gift from the Colorado State Board of Education to AIR's editor, Marc Abrahams -- a basket of bananas with a card that reads: Congratulations --the Colorado State Board of Education This thoughtful gift is undoubtedly a reference to N.W. Simmonds's classic book, "Evolution of the Bananas," [1962, London, Longmans]. The book is, unfortunately, out of print. Residents of, and visitors to, Colorado might be able to obtain a copy by visiting the Board of Education. We are grateful to the Colorado State Board of Education and its bananas. In their honor, we plan to establish an Internet-based resource center that anyone, anywhere, can use to learn the basics of how evolution works. (If your institution would like to help, please get in touch with us.) Eventually, thanks to the bananas from Colorado, more people will read about scientific discoveries, ask their own questions, and think their own thoughts. For surely, the Colorado State Board -- like all good educators -- would never want people to accept or reject ideas simply because someone "authoritative" tells them to. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-06 Sweetie Poo: A Technical Breakthrough At the Ig Nobel ceremony, we achieved an important technical breakthrough. It is called "Miss Sweetie Poo." Miss Sweetie Poo was created to solve a problem that was all too evident at previous Ig ceremonies. Indeed, the problem is endemic to most formal public gatherings: Many speakers continue talking past their allotted time. In previous years, we were unable to stop incessant yackers, except by means that made us appear ungracious, or caused them to feel embarrassed. Miss Sweetie Poo solved all that. Miss Sweetie Poo is an exceedingly cute eight-year-old girl. At the Ig ceremony, whenever a speaker droned on, Miss Sweetie Poo briskly strode up to him or her, and said, loudly and forthrightly, "Please stop. I'm bored. Please stop. I'm bored. Please stop. I'm bored...." Miss Sweetie Poo continued thusly until the speaker stopped. She was remarkably effective. You can see Miss Sweetie Poo in action by going to www.improbable.com and watching video of the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Natasha Rosenberg, who pioneered the role of Miss Sweetie Poo, set a standard that will be admired by, and inspirational to, all the Miss Sweetie Poos of future years, decades, and centuries. We hope that Miss Sweetie Poo will become a basic technical component of all the world's public ceremonies -- from the Academy Awards Presentation to government hearings to departmental dinners and luncheons. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-07 Slothful: Correction Several readers pointed out an oversight in last month's mini-AIR. The item there entitled "Slothful" should have read: "Do you LEGALLY possess more than 10,000 (ten thousand) three-toed sloths? If so, we would enjoy hearing from you." We apologize for any inconvenience this caused. ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-08 Slothful: Animus Sloths inspired other reactions, too. A politely corrective letter arrived at the Annals, signed by investigator Karen Lingel, who identifies herself as a "Physicist and Penguinist." Here is the text: "As you may have heard, we here in California do not 'possess' animals. Would you enjoy hearing from the guardians of more than 10,000 three-toed sloths, or would it just be tiresome?" ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-09 Academic Happy-Happy Survey This month's education survey was suggested by a letter from investigator Karin Manush. Manush writes: "I see that government leaders in the United States are banning evolution from the schools because, in their words, 'it is a controversial subject.' I agree with them. Controversial subjects should be banned. When I was going to school I flunked trigonometry, and so did my brother Hans. My sister Astrid liked math and always argued with Hans and me. I don't want my children to have to go through what I went through. Trigonometry is still controversial in my family. I want it removed from the classroom." We at AIR heartily endorse this bold, experimental approach to education. We are sure you do, too. In fact, we insist on it. We command that you take part in this month's academic survey: What subject do you personally find controversial and want removed from the schools? Please send your answer (25 words max) to ---------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-10 Another Boring Site This month's boring site was discovered by investigator Yasmin Rahman. Here is her report: "I'm a student at the University of California, Berkeley, where there is always some sort of construction (usually seismic refitting) going on at various places around the campus. I was walking by a construction site this summer and was quite amused when I saw the name of one company emblazoned proudly on the sides of their vehicles: Advanced Boring Specialists, Inc. (Surprisingly enough, this company is not composed of Berkeley professors.) Their website is at www.advancedboring.com." ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-11 Project AIRhead 2000: Sleuth, Boom, Butts Here is a further random selection from the Project AIRhead 2000 collection of things inexplicably named (in whole or in part) 2000. ITEM 999392 (submitted by investigator Kathryn Hedges) NET DETECTIVE 2000, an "amazing new tool that allows you to find out EVERYTHING you ever wanted to know about your friends, family, neighbors, employees, even your boss!" Details are at http://www.awesome-links.com/netdetective.html ITEM 40116 (submitted by investigator Paul May) M2K, the "ultimate muzzleloading 2000 series rifles." Details are at http://www.m2kmuzzleloaders.com/ ITEM 71714 (submitted by investigator Melis Adriano) NOVELLA 2000, an Italian weekly newspaper that regularly features grainy photos of the buttocks, breasts, and/or male reproductive organs of well-known people. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-12 Tsk, Tsk, Koala Disgusting entries have been pouring in for our Tsk Tsk Task Survey. As explained last month, we are compiling a list of unpleasant, unseemly, or unthinkable tasks that scientists inflict on their assistants. This entry was sent by investigator Fiona Davies-McConchie: "Have you ever tried to do a pap smear on an unanaesthetised Koala? One student changed his honours project to something more sedate after his first week of field work studying the spread of venereal diseases amongst Koalas. Getting her out of the tree was apparently one issue, but to then perform the said indecency on a lady koala was altogether too much for this chap, and after a few days bravely battling claws and unhappy koala dispositions, he staggered back to uni and huffily chose another project (and another supervisor)." ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-13 Blobs Large blobs are in the news again. The latest report is from Ileana Madalina Tibuleac and her colleagues at Southern Methodist University. Tibuleac's blob is described as being "about 80 miles thick by 380 miles tall, almost vertical, and is believed to be slowly descending vertically." It is located beneath the Caribbean Sea. Details are in the September 10 issue of the journal "Science" and, more concretely, in the blob itself. Please send any pertinent blob research citations (full citations, please) to ----------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Bad Breath and Eye, Parrot Foot Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (For a much larger collection, see any issue of AIR.) WHAT IS REALITY "Delusions of Halitosis," R.L. Goldberg, P.A. Buongiorno, and R.I. Henkin, Psychosomatics, vol. 26, no. 4, April 1985, pp. 325-7. (Thanks to Maureen Koren for bringing this to our attention.) LOOKS BAD "The history of the evil eye and its influence on ophthalmology, medicine and social customs," G.H. Bohigian, Documenta Ophthalmologica, vol. 94, nos. 1-2, 1997, pp. 91-100. (Thanks to Lee Rae Yong for bringing this to our attention.) The author is at Washington University School of Medicine. FOOT SIZE SPEAKS VOLUMES "Lexicon size and its relation to foot preference in the African grey parrot (Psittacus erithacus)," P.J. Snyder and L.J Harris, Neuropsychologia, vol 35, no. 6, June 1997, pp. 919-26. (Thanks to P. Jackson for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are at Allegheny General Hospital, Pittsburgh, PA, explain their discovery: Right-footed African Greys (N = 36) had significantly larger lexicons than left-footed African Greys (N = 34; P = 0.01). ------------------------------------------------------------ 1999-10-15 AIRhead Events ==> Want to host an event? Call or E-mail 617-491-4437. ==> For updates of this schedule, see http://www.improbable.com NEW ENGLAND SKEPTICAL SOCIETY -- YALE UNIV. SAT, OCT 16 Noon. Davies Auditorium, Yale University, New Haven AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will discuss and illustrate the Ig Nobel Prizes and improbable Research in general. INFO: Jon Blumenfeld http://www.theness.com/member.html AMERICAN VACUUM SOCIETY MEETING, SEATTLE MON, OCT 25 12:30 pm. Washington State Convention Center, Ballroom 6A AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will be the plenary speakers. This event IS open to the public. Info: Pat Looney (301) 975-4806 http://www.vacuum.org/symposium/seattle/plenary.html UNIV OF WATERLOO, ONTARIO TUES, DEC 7 2:30 pm. Details TBA. INFO: Dan Berry CHEMICAL INSTITUTE OF CANADA, TORONTO SECTION WED, DEC. 8 8:30 pm. Univ. of Toronto, Erindale Campus 3359 Mississauga Rd. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present an underview of improbable research. Includes the classic slide show "PROFESSOR LIPSCOMB Goes Shopping." INFO: Jack Clark UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO THURS, DEC. 9 4:00 pm. Physics Department. Colloquium with AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS. INFO: David Bailey 416-978-4993 NASW PLENARY SESSION (at AAAS), WASHINGTON Thurs, Feb 17, 2000 8-10 am. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will be part of the National Association of Science Writers (NASW) plenary session panel, together with John Rennie, Steve Petranek, and John Benditt, editors in chief of Scientific American, Discover, and Technology Review. There will be brief, possibly spectacular review of the Ninth 1st Annual Ig Nobel Prizes. This event is open to NASW members only. Info; Mary Knudsen AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, WASHINGTON DC Fri evening, Feb 18, 2000 AIR authors will present their traditionally improbable session at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting. Featuring, among others, AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, "A Briefer History of Time" author ERIC SCHULMAN, and the more-or- less ORIGINAL CAST of one of the Ig Nobel mini-operas starring mezzo- soprano MARGOT BUTTON and various Nobel laureates. Further details TBA. |--- ADVANCE LISTING--| MEDICAL LIBRARY ASSOCIATION, UNIV OF UTAH Sept 9-15, 2002 Exact date and location(s) TBA. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present a lecture on improbable research at a meeting of the Midcontinental Chapter of the Medical Library Association (MCMLA), and be part of a panel discussion on electronic publishing. INFO: Kathleen McCloskey 801/585-5743 -------------------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research -- (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR) ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ USA 1 yr/$23 2 yrs/$39 3 yrs/$59 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$27 US 2 yrs/$45 US 3 yrs/$67 US Overseas 1 yr/$40 US 2 yrs/$70 US 3 yrs/$99 US [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the USA, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] ................................................................ 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To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ----------------------------------------------------- 1999-10-18 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: http://www.improbable.com/ --------------------------- 1999-10-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1999, Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki Rohloff MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================