PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2000-04 April, 2000 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2000-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2000-04-01 Table of Contents 2000-04-02 mini-Housekeeping 2000-04-03 What's New in the Magazine 2000-04-04 SURVEY: Nature vs. Nurture 2000-04-05 Lost Planets 2000-04-06 Pointing the Finger 2000-04-07 The Favorite Srivastava 2000-04-08 Tributes to A 2000-04-09 Light-Hearted Entertainment 2000-04-10 Splendid Waste of Time 2000-04-11 Inner Void 2000-04-12 Toothpick Pre-History 2000-04-13 Mona Lisian Doc 2000-04-14 PLAY BY PLAY -- FatPhooeys vs. FiberFabs 2000-04-15 AIR VENTS: Deception, Symmetry 2000-04-16 Beauty Counts Contest 2000-04-17 Project AIRhead 2000: Mix and Grow 2000-04-18 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Glee, Bite, and Me 2000-04-19 AIRhead Events 2000-04-20 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2000-04-21 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 2000-04-22 Our Address (*) 2000-04-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-02 mini Housekeeping We have been tinkering to improve the format of the HotAIR features. The new format is on display at http://www.improbable.com/news/fat-fiber-wars-2000-04.html Got a comment or suggestion about that format? Please email it to our self-esteemed webmaster Amy Gorin at . Please tell Amy what browser you are using, including the version number. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR 6:2 (March/April 2000) is the special UFOs $ CRABS ISSUE. The issue includes, among other things: <> "Mass Stranding of Horseshoe Crabs," by Bob Reid. The author shows and explains some hitherto baffling "frolicking" behavior exhibited by the taciturn crustaceans. <> "Some Tips for Spackling and Plastering a Black Hole," by Phil Shapiro. Practical advice for the amateur repair enthusiast. <> "RE-DISCOVERY: Sonneborn and the Persistently Shapely Paramecia," by Marc Abrahams. The first in a new series of reports about genuine scientific discoveries that have been overlooked. This one concerns T.C. Sonneborn's discovery that paramecia seem to pass certain information to their offspring via something other than their genes. <> "The Coffee Diet," By Alice Shirrell Kaswell. A new diet is based on the consumption of coffee. It will make you slimmer,trimmer, and more vibrant than you imagined possible. <> ...and much more. See the cover and full table of contents at http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/v6i2-toc.html (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR, a teeny, tiny, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-04 SURVEY: Nature vs. Nurture This month's Scientific Correctness Survey (#62) concerns nature and nurture. Like all our Scientific Correctness Surveys, this one will settle, once and for all, a burning scientific controversy. Which determines an individual's personality: 1. Nature 2. Nurture 3. Neither Please send your vote to ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-05 Lost Planets Our Lost & Found Department is maintaining a stock of lost and found astronomical items. Details are at http://www.improbable.com/news/lost-found-moons-2000-03.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-06 Pointing the Finger A study by UC Berkeley prof. Marc Breedlove et al. measured the finger lengths of "720 adults who were attending public street fairs in the San Francisco area." This yielded what the authors call "some surprising information." It also inspired us to survey 740 adults who were attending public car washes in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and amass the same kinds of information as were obtained in the San Francisco study. Details and "some surprising results" are at http://www.improbable.com/news/digital-orient- 2000-04.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-07 The Favorite Srivastava You, the great unwashed and washed public, have spoken. You have chosen your favorite Srivastava. We have tallied the votes. We know which Srivastava you love. The contest was between the three co-authors of that most popular and enduring of multi-Srivastava papers: "Phenotype, genotype and cytokine production in acute leukemia involving progenitors of dendritic Langerhans' cells," B.I. Srivastava, A. Srivastava, and M.D. Srivastava, Leukemia Research, vol. 18, no. 7, July 1994, pp. 499-511. The ballot listed three candidates. Here are their vote percentages: B.I. Srivastava 22% A. Srivastava 25% M.D. Srivastava 53% Congratulations to the winner, M.D. Srivastava. He waged a good campaign, rising above the fray, making not a single negative comment about his rivals. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-08 Tributes to A Though a majority of voters preferred M.D., many loquacious voters marched to the beat of a different Srivastava. Here are some of the various comments. "Of course I vote for A. Srivastava, because my own name starts with A." --Armin Himmelrath "I would definitely vote for #2, A Srivastava. This way I cover all three." --Li Quezada "I'm not voting, but figured I should probably draw your attention to a goof-up on your part. In the part of the world that the Srivastavas come from (southern India, it appears), it's not obvious that names are nicely structured as first, middle, and last names. In this case in particular, Srivastava is a common given name. I mean, I'm sure you think it's funny, but well, they would think the same of K. George, George, W., George, W.B., & George, H.W.B. Oh what the hell, while I'm here, I might as well vote for the most appropriate Srivastava -- #3, who seems to be the only M.D. among the authors." --Vinay L. Kashyap "I would just like to point out that I don't believe these to be real people. How else can you explain: Be I Srivastava? A Srivastava? Empty Srivastava. I vote for #1" --Eric Bennett "I vote for No.3 - M.D. Srivastava - because, as third author he/she probably did most of the lab work (might even be the son/daughter of B.I. or A.)" --Murray Fletcher "One vote for A. Srivastava. "One vote for A. Srivastava. Only he/she had the courage to resist the tendency to get as many initials as possible in front of the name, and as many abbreviations as possible after." --S. Fraser ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-09 Light-Hearted Entertainment Today we received a phone call from a "research firm" that is conducting "A Survey on Entertainment and Laser Activity." We hung up on them, as we do on everyone who asks us to answer a telephone survey. However, now we are intrigued with the concept of "Entertainment and Laser Activity." If you can enlighten us in 25 words or less as to its nature, we would be pleased to hear from you at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-10 Splendid Waste of Time Are you a good ORGANIZER, located in or near Cambridge (MA), and want to volunteer to help with this year's Ig Nobel Prize ceremony? Then get in touch with us, s'il te plait, at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-11 Inner Void There may be tiny, tiny black holes so small that they gather electrons and then act much like normal atoms. So theorize Victor Flambaum and Julian Berenegut in their recent adventure article published in the journal "General Relativity and Quantum Cosmology." If you have one of these black holes inside your head, we would enjoy hearing from you. Details at http://www.improbable.com/news/black-hole-head-2000-04.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-12 Toothpick Pre-History A press release from the University of Arkansas touts evidence of the first, ancient use of a toothpick. The toothpick itself is missing. Our Toothpick Pre-History Project is evidence collecting of the earliest toothpick use at your city, town, school, workplace, palace. To contribute info or toothpicks to the project, please email . Further details are at http://www.improbable.com/news/toothpick-one-2000-04.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-13 Mona Lisian Doc Why is she smiling, this Rebecca Sokol, M.D.? That is the question arising from a heavily publicized research project involving the University of Southern California and sperm. Details are at http://www.improbable.com/news/why-she-smiles-2000-04.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-14 PLAY BY PLAY -- FatPhooeys vs. FiberFabs Our series of thrilling reports from the sporting fields of science and medicine continues. This month it's a spirited report about the No Fat, High Fiber team and its archrival, the Yes Fat, Fi On Fiber gang. The latter scored a pair of punishing wins this week in the New England Journal of Medicine. For details see http://www.improbable.com/news/fat-fiber-wars-2000-04.html ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-15 AIR VENTS: Deception, Symmetry The world is full of unhappy people. Here are letters from three of them. DECEPTION "Your report ("Is Theater Dead?," mini-AIR 2000-03) about the new play about forensic entomologist Mark Benecke mentions that '...flies and their maggots crawl in and on the flesh of the deceived.' I hope never to be fooled again." --Rick Wood TOO-SYMMETRICAL MONIKER REVERSAL "I just wanted to add my entry to the moniker reversal forum. I hope it's not too late. If it is, sorry. My mom has the same problem; her name: Lin-Lin Lin. People call her by her last name 'Lin.' --Beatrice Lin CHECKS CHECK I must correct the blatant error in your Project AIRhead 2000 report regarding Chex Mix 2000. As Investigators Williams and Mukherji have attested, the crunchy treat does come packaged in a lovely silver bag. However, Chex Mix 2000 differs from unnumbered Chex Mix in a further important way. The little pretzels are shaped like "2000" (except for the broken ones, which either say OOO or 2O, mostly). Thus, the name appears to be actually descriptive of the product inside -- not to mention useful next year for discerning out-of-date stock. Michelle L. Imber ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-16 Beauty Counts Contest Our Beauty Counts Contest, announced last month, produced nothing but winners. We sought to identify the loveliest mathematical entities. Here are several. I consider, that my teacher in analysis, matematician Ms. Vera Soos (Mrs. Turan) was the most beautiful mathemtical entity in 1956-57 school year. But 43 years went since that. --George Valas To this gorgeous attempt to beautify an often ugly subject, I offer the following contestant e ^(i*Pi) = -1 Beautiful in its simplicity, it needs no further comment. --Ben Kemp "I always took e^(i*pi)=-1 to be the most beautiful mathematical equation, even in mangled ascii, binding as it does three of the most characterful concepts into a simple relation. Of course, the most beautiful may not be beautiful enough, and so I quit maths and moved to brain science. I don't find things as beautiful any more, although if I did I would know where I was feeling it." --Dr Daniel Glaser "I'd like to nominate the number '0', the most beautiful (clean and symmetric) and also useful mathematical entity in the Universe." --Markus Buchhorn More next time. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-17 Project AIRhead 2000: Mix and Grow Here are further selections from our vast collection of items that inexplicably have 2000 as part of their name. ITEM #TVC22 (submitted by investigator Andre Barreto) TELECURSO 2000, a Brazilian TV program to teach 1st and 2nd grade level basic math, reading, writing and history, to high school) to the population. ITEM #666D (submitted by investigator Frank Nice) 2000 TIME BOMB, an "Emergency Video" prepared by Rev. Jack Van Impe describing the panic in the aftermath of the year-2000 bug that could easily lead to the rise of the Antichrist, the one- world government, and the mark of the beast. ITEM #409219903 (submitted by investigator Frank Stephan) KAMPANJO 2000, which mainly is a campaign to increase the number of people speaking or having at least familiar with Esperanto. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-18 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Glee, Bite, and Me Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (For a much larger collection, see any issue of AIR.) HAPPY FINDING "An Ecological Study of Glee in Small Groups of Preschool Children," L.W. Sherman, Child Development, vol. 46, no. 1, March 1975, pp. 53-61. (Thanks to Marianne Toomey for bringing this to our attention.) PERSONABLE CHOPPERS "Some Personality Determinants of Denture Preference," S. Tau and U. Lowental, Journal of Prosthetic Dentistry, vol. 44, no. 1, 1980, pp. 10-2. (Thanks to Leslie Worthen for bringing this to our attention.) SELF-WORSHIP "Egocentric Thought in Petitionary Prayer: a Cross-Cultural Study," L.B. Brown, Journal of Social Psychology, vol. 68, no. 2, April 1966, pp. 197-210. (Thanks to Pedro A. Sanchez for bringing this ot our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2000-04-19 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see http://www.improbable.com ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. DAYTON, OHIO THURS, JULY 13 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS publicly explore the state of improbable research & engineering. The event is part of the Materials, Manufacturing and Enabling Technologies Series. INFO: Wade Adams NEW ENGLAND SKEPTICAL SOCIETY -- YALE UNIV., NEW HAVEN, CT SEPT. Date and exact location TBA AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS et al. will discuss and illustrate the Ig Nobel Prizes and improbable Research in general. INFO: Jon Blumenfeld http://www.theness.com/member.html TENTH FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY THURS, OCT 5 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University. Tickets will go in sale in August. IG LECTURES SAT, OCT 7 MIT (room TBA) The 2000 Ig Nobel Prizewinners will attempt to explain themselves. SOCIETY OF AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERS, DEARBORN, MI THURS, OCT 12 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will be the dinner speaker at the SAE TOPTEC symposium. INFO: Kurt Godden INTERNATIONAL ELECTRON DEVICES MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO TUES, DEC 12 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will ruin lunch by discussing the Ig Nobel Prizes and the current state of improbable research. Details TBA. INFO: Mark Law (352) 392-6459 STANFORD UNIVERSITY WED, FEB 14, 2001 Valentine's Day improbable Research with: <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS <> "How to Quantity Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD <> and other surpris(ing) personages Further details TBA. INFO: Michele Armstrong AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO FEB, 2001 Details TBA. AIR's annual session as part of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-20 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research -- (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR) ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$23 2 yrs/$39 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$27 US 2 yrs/$45 US Overseas 1 yr/$40 US 2 yrs/$70 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-21 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ----------------------------------------------------- 2000-04-22 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: http://www.improbable.com --------------------------- 2000-04-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 2000, Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki Rohloff MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================