PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2000-07 July, 2000 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2000-07-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2000-07-01 Table of Contents 2000-07-02 mini-Housekeeping 2000-07-03 What's New in the Magazine 2000-07-04 NEWS FLASH -- Ig Winner Runs and Flies Again 2000-07-05 Napkin Innovation Query 2000-07-06 Jesus Mustache Roman -- the Horrible Mistake 2000-07-07 Mr. 100,000 2000-07-08 Heslop-Harrison, Heslop-Harrison, Heslop-Harrison 2000-07-09 To Sea and Not to See 2000-07-10 The Bureaucracy Club 2000-07-11 Standing Symbolism 2000-07-12 The Magic of Mpingo 2000-07-13 Came the New Millennium 2000-07-14 Museum Quality Danger 2000-07-15 Christian Sinn 2000-07-16 Invasions of Virginia and NY 2000-07-17 MEDICAL MYSTERY -- Eros in the Elevator? 2000-07-18 PHYSICS LESSON -- A Fling With Miss Young 2000-07-19 Report Survey Survey Report 2000-07-20 Additional Over-the-Top Interpretations 2000-07-21 Report Survey Survey Report Survey 2000-07-22 Project AIRhead 2000: Fungus, Hose, Twinkies 2000-07-23 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Push, Woof, Turn-On 2000-07-24 AIRhead Events 2000-07-25 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2000-07-26 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 2000-07-27 Our Address (*) 2000-07-28 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-02 mini Housekeeping This month there are AIR shows in PHILADELPHIA DAYTON CINCINNATI For details see ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR 6:4 (Jul/Aug 2000) is the special POSTAGE & HANDLING issue. It will be arriving on subscribers' doorsteps any day now. The issue includes, among other things: <> "Postal Experiments" by Jeff Van Bueren. The author conducted a series of experiments. As a result, he has empirically determined the limits of what the U.S. Postal Service will and will not convey through the mail. <> "Ground-Breaking Studies: Do They Break Concrete?" by G. Neil Martin. The author tested supposedly "ground-breaking" studies from the fields of medicine, biochemistry, physics, psychology, and economics. He dropped each study from a height of six feet onto a concrete floor. <> "NOBEL THOUGHTS: Herb Simon," by Marc Abrahams. In an exclusive interview, the Nobel economics laureate reveals his deepest thoughts and beliefs about shaving. <> ...and much, much more. See the cover and full table of contents, which will be posted any day now at (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR, a teeny, tiny, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-04 NEWS FLASH -- Ig Winner Runs and Flies Again As this issue of mini-AIR goes to press, we have just learned that 1994 Ig Nobel Peace Prize winner John Hagelin is again running for high public office. Details are at For details of Hagelin's Ig-winning achievement, see Dr. Hagelin has a new video out: "Video on Yogic Flying," 30 minutes, color, $15.00 He also has an older, but still serviceable video: "Physics of Flying," 80 minutes, color, $25 You can purchase both videos from the Maharishi University of Management. See A PROJECT FOR YOU Every four years, Dr. Hagelin runs for President or Vice-President of the U.S. He is then interviewed on most of the major news programs -- but few, if any, of the reporters ask him about Yogic Flying, or how in 1994 he mentally lowered the (projected, not actual) crime rate in Washington DC. Perhaps the news organizations are simply unaware of Dr. Hagelin's impressive achievements. Perhaps you will urge them to report on this. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-05 Napkin Innovation Query We are compiling a list of great inventions that got their start on restaurant napkins. Here are two examples. The original Compaq Computer was first sketched on a restaurant napkin. See for details. So, too, was the science of Roller Derby See for details, and see for basics of the resultant sport. If you know of another such napkin-launched innovation -- one that is of equal or greater significance than Compaq Computer or Roller Derby -- and have documentation, send it please send it to Project Napkin Innovation, c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-06 Jesus Mustache Roman -- the Horrible Mistake Not long ago we asked whether anyone could tell us about the life and work of Professor Jesus Mustache Roman. Now, thanks to investigator Chana Lajcher, we have learned the truth. Details are at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-07 Mr. 100,000 Congratulations to David Bradford of Elk Grove Village, Illinois, USA, who was the 100,000th visitor to our web site since January 1, 2000. As a result of his happy timing, Bradford has won a free autographed copy of something or other. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-08 Heslop-Harrison, Heslop-Harrison, Heslop-Harrison Investigator Mike van Keulen contributed the latest entry in our Multiplicity of Authors collection. The collection includes (exclusively, mind you) research reports in which multiple authors share the same last name. Here is an outstandingly Heslop- Harrisonianian entry: "The Structure and Prophylactic Role of the Angiosperm Embryo Sac and Its Associated Tissues: Zea mays as a Model," J. Heslop-Harrison, J.S. Heslop-Harrison, and Y. Heslop-Harrison, Protoplasma, vol. 209, 1999, pp. 256-74. Investigator van Keulen informs us that Heslop-Harrison, Heslop- Harrison, and Heslop-Harrison are father, son, and mother, respectively. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-09 To Sea and Not to See In case you've become curious about Re-Discovery, AIR's new, not- necessarily-humorous column about overlooked genuine research, take a look at . There you'll find the column, originally published in AIR 6:3, describing Bill Saidel's remarkable discovery about what it means to see -- and not to see. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-10 The Bureaucracy Club We proudly announce a new organization: The Bureaucracy Club. The Bureaucracy Club is dedicated to the propagation, study, maintenance, enhancement, documentation, and optimization of bureaucracies and bureaucrats. We invite you to form your own chapter. Details are at . The Bureaucracy club has its own, splendidly hidebound publication, The Bureaucratic Review, which can be found at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-11 Standing Symbolism Need a different, surprisingly stimulating getaway for you and the family? We highly recommend the INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE OF THE STANDING CONFERENCE ON ORGANIZATIONAL SYMBOLISM. This year's confab happens on July 5-9 at the Hotel Titania in Athens Greece. Exciting details are at: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-12 The Magic of Mpingo Throughout history, breakthrough technologies have seemed mysterious, and even spooky, in their first appearance. Few are spookier and more mysterious than the magic of Mpingo. See , if you are the least bit curious or credulous. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-13 Came the New Millennium This is our final reminder: the new millennium began on July 1. Please help spread the word. Details, in case you still need them, are at This is the last time we will mention it, unless we mention it again. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-14 Museum Quality Danger At their best, museums are mysterious, dangerous, alluring places. One museum has now surpassed all others as a source of danger. This has been certified, implicitly, by the US. Air Force. See . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-15 Christian Sinn This month's Great Name in Science is none other than Christian Sinn of the Institut fur Physik. Read about him at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-16 Invasions of Virginia and NY The northeast portion of the United States seems especially prey to invasion by aliens. Here are two such cases: . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-17 MEDICAL MYSTERY -- Eros in the Elevator? In reading medical reports, one occasionally stumbles across a small mystery. Here's one that is just plain puzzling: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-18 PHYSICS LESSON -- A Fling With Miss Young Sometimes, students complain that physics is neither practical nor fun. That claim can be countered in many ways. Consider, for example, the rise and fall of Miss Stella Young: . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-19 Report Survey Survey Report Last month's Report Survey Survey posed a basic bureaucratic question: In your experience, what percentage of all written reports are read by no one other than the author(s)? a) Less than 25% b) 25% - 50% c) 50% - 75% d) 75% - 100% e) More than 100% RESULTS Thank you to everyone who answered the survey. We intend to read your responses as soon as possible. In the meantime, here is our report about what you, the Public, believe. a) Less than 25% 21% b) 25% - 50% 12% c) 50% - 75% 07% d) 75% - 100% 21% e) More than 100 32% f) OTHER OR CONFUSED 07% INTERPRETATION We have no idea what these results mean, but we report them with confidence. Here are explanations given by several respondents. They are listed by response category. " Everyone reads the title and then decides the report has nothing to do with them. You couldn't possibly be asking if people read the content of the report. That would be a ludicrous waste of time." --Peter Murray " However, based on my experience as a TA grading undergraduate term papers, it is ALSO my estimation that at least 20% of all reports are not actually read by their authors before submission." --Susan Way " Generally when one writes a report that no one will read, the report is then discarded before distribution. Thus the HIGH read rate of 50%-75%." --John Filce " 75% - 100% (Because a small proportion of these authors actually have their work edited, so then the poor editors have to read the reports too.)" --E. Melanie Lever " I am entitled to double-count those reports which are not only read by no-one other than the author, but are also not read by the author." --Neil White ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-20 Additional Over-the-Top Interpretations Respondents who chose Report Survey Survey category E had many interesting and other things to say. Here is a tiny selection. NULL, NOT VOID "I'd venture to guess that the answers should also include the opportunity to select the percentage of the published authors that didn't participate in the work, the writing, and/or the reading of their own papers. To accommodate this option, I'll select More Than 100%" 1.4 times." --Mark Piton STUDENT SELF-ILLITERACY "In my experience as a college lecturer, I would say that the percentage of all reports written by no one other than the authors is definitely "More than 100%". The reason is that -- judging by the reports itself - most students obviously haven't read their own product (or I simply can't believe they would have submitted them to me for evaluation). Thus the percentage of readers "other than the authors" falls below 0% and the answer to your reverse question must be (e) "More than 100%". "Of course, I myself have to read them, but since (1) this is a duty for which I'm paid and (2) the reports only rarely are readable at all, this doesn't really count! Right?" --Knut W. Hansson AN IGNORED, CITED AUTHOR " Someone once compiled a list of reports that he believed contained results from a report by a co-author and me. I scanned through every listed report: none had any result by us, and most were irrelevant to our work. The list compiler had clearly not read, in any meaningful way, any listed report, although most of these were by him. My favorite among the irrelevant was a garbled citation that, after some library work, turned out to be the one- hundred-and-third item of a compendium of reports to a government: a book of the un-read!" --Tom Roberts We will present a further selection next month, perhaps. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-21 Report Survey Survey Report Survey Like most surveys, the Report Survey Survey raised more questions than it answered. Here is one which we now impose on you. It was submitted, with accompanying equivocation (which we omit here, because of space limitations), by investigator Paul Koch: In your experience, what percentage of all written reports SHOULD BE read by no one other than the author(s)? a) Less than 25% b) 25% - 50% c) 50% - 75% d) 75% - 100% e) More than 100% Please send your response to . ----------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-22 Project AIRhead 2000: Fungus, Hose, Twinkies Here are further selections from our vast collection of items that inexplicably have 2000 as part of their name. ITEM 1208 (submitted by investigator Jo Rita Jordan) FUNGUS 2000 DATABASE, which is available on-line at http://194.131.255.3/bmspages/Fungus2000/Fungus2000.htm ITEM 34062 (submitted by investigator David Hiebeler) SUPER-FLEX 2000 GASOLINE HOSE, a gasoline hose made by Dayco. ITEM 777-320 (submitted by investigator Adrienne Ericssen) TWINKIES 2000, a robust snack food. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-23 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Push, Woof, Turn-On Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (For a much larger collection, see any issue of AIR.) PUSH-UP RESPONSE "Push-up Response of Stonefly Larvae in Low-Oxygen Conditions," Motomi Genkai-Kato, Kentaro Nozaki, Hiromune Mitsuhashi, Yukihiro Kohmatsu, Hitoshi Miyasaka, and Masami Nakanishi, Ecological Research, vol. 15, no. 2, 2000, pp. 175-9. (Thanks to Renate Wesselingh for bringing this to our attention.) HUMAN RESPONSE TO CANINES "Personality, Anal Character and Attitudes Toward Dogs," C.J. Stubbs and M. Cook, Psychological Reports, vol. 85, 2000, pp. 1089-92. (Thanks to Neil Martin for bringing this to our attention.) AMOUR AFTER DARK "Blinding Induces Copulatory Activity Among Inactive Males of South Indian Gerbils," Biju B. Thomas, and Matthew M. Oomen, Current Science. Vol. 78, no. 9, May 10, 2000, pp. 1136-8. (Thanks to Simcha Lev-Yadun for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2000-07-24 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. FRANKLIN INSTITUTE, PHILADELPHIA SAT, JUL 8 2-3:30 pm. AIR show featuring: <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS <> "Taste of Crime" authors BRIAN LAWTON and MATTHEW HICKMAN <> Alien abduction statistician LEN FINEGOLD INFO: Jim Moskowitz 215-448-1316 UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI WED, JULY 12 [Location and time are slightly subject to change.] 1:30, auditorium of the Vontz building. AIR editor Marc Abrahams will discuss and illustrate improbable research and the Ig Nobel Prizes. Sponsored by the Office of the Vice President for Research and by the Graduate Program in Neuroscience. INFO: Robert Gesteland MAPS: DAYTON, OHIO THURS, JULY 13 Dayton Convention Center, 22 East Fifth Street 3:00 pm: happy hour 4-6 pm: AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will publicly explore and demonstrate the state of improbable research & engineering. The event is part of the Materials, Manufacturing & Enabling Technologies Series. INFO: Wade Adams 937-255-6825 POST THEATER, NEW YORK CITY SEPT 14-24 214 E. 10th St. #4 American premiere of "The Real Forensic," a play about AIR editorial board member DR. MARK BENECKE, the world's most colorful forensic entomologist. Check with theater for exact dates/times. INFO: 212-982-7399 MCGILL UNIV., MONTREAL TBA Date, time, etc. TBA NEW ENGLAND SKEPTICAL SOCIETY -- YALE UNIV., NEW HAVEN SEPT. Date and exact location TBA. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS et al. will discuss and illustrate the Ig Nobel Prizes and improbable Research in general. INFO: Jon Blumenfeld TENTH FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY THURS, OCT 5 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University. Tickets will go in sale in August. IG LECTURES SAT, OCT 7 MIT (room and time TBA) The 2000 Ig Nobel Prizewinners will attempt to explain themselves. SOCIETY OF AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERS, DEARBORN, MI THURS, OCT 12 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will be the dinner speaker at the SAE TOPTEC symposium. INFO: Kurt Godden BOSTON MENSA FRI OCT 27 Location and time TBA AIR editor Marc Abrahams will speak on a variety of baffling topics. INFO: Tom Birchmire INTERNATIONAL ELECTRON DEVICES MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO TUES, DEC 12 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will ruin lunch by discussing the Ig Nobel Prizes and the current state of improbable research. Details TBA. INFO: Mark Law (352) 392-6459 STANFORD UNIVERSITY WED, FEB 14, 2001 Valentine's Day improbable Research with: <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS <> "How to Quantity Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD <> and other surpris(ing) personages Further details TBA. INFO: Michele Armstrong AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO FEB, 2001 Details TBA. AIR's annual session as part of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-25 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$23 2 yrs/$39 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$27 US 2 yrs/$45 US Overseas 1 yr/$40 US 2 yrs/$70 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-26 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ----------------------------------------------------- 2000-07-27 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2000-07-28 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 2000, Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki Rohloff MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts ============================================================