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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2000-11
November, 2000
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
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2000-11-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2000-11-01	Table of Contents
2000-11-02	mini Housekeeping
2000-11-03	What's New in the Magazine
2000-11-04	A Salute to K. Harris
2000-11-05	The Word on Collapsed Toilets
2000-11-06	Ig on Science Friday - Nov 24
2000-11-07	Dutch Explanation
2000-11-08	Beautiful Truth / Truthful Beauty Survey
2000-11-09	Kafkaesque Nightmare Survey Results
2000-11-10	AIR VENTS: Cyprus and Fat
2000-11-11	Cavalcade of HotAIR: WRESTLING, NUTRITION, HUMMING
2000-11-12	Project AIRhead 2000: MUSCLE, TOAST, TRAILERS
2000-11-13	MAY WE RECOMMEND: BLINK, SPAGHETTI, KRAMER
2000-11-14	AIRhead Events
2000-11-15	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2000-11-16	Our Address (*)
2000-11-17	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2000-11-18	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-02	mini Housekeeping 

A quick reminder that this is a good time to give your lab, 
library, or living companion the invaluably cheap gift of AIR -- a 
subscription to AIR (the print magazine) itself. Info is at 
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/subscribe.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-03	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 6:6 (Nov/Dec 2000) is the special ECCENTRICS issue. The issue 
will be emerging from the printers and arriving on subscribers' 
doorsteps any day or week now.

See the cover and full table of contents, and several of the 
articles posted any day now at 
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6.html>
 
       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-04	A Salute to K. Harris

Mathematics, long regarded by many people as tedious and no fun at 
all, is about to become less tedious -- and probably lots of fun. 
Credit the change to math's new hero: K. Harris, Florida Secretary 
of State.

Many -- far too many -- schoolchildren agonize over the 
correctness of their work. This can lead to obsession, compulsion, 
and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and has forced a large 
proportion of American students to be medicated with Ritalin. The 
same chain of woes is appearing in other nations.

Now comes an effective, simple solution. K. Harris was given 
charge of a large exam in her state (there were approximately six 
million examinees, and a corresponding number of exam graders). 
Confronted with requests that exam graders be allowed to check 
their work, Harris issued a firm, teacherly "no."

If you have used a calculator, there is no need to check your 
work. Your answer, if you can give a good explanation for it, is 
correct. One must move on. Life is too short to spend it agonizing 
over whether one passed an examination.

This decision is an example that others will admire and learn 
from. 

Fear of making a math error has paralyzed too many young people, 
causing them to lose their love of mathematics. Without that fear, 
students can exult in mathematics. As they take their place in 
society, it will become ever less fashionable to check one's math. 
The world will become happier, faster-paced, more care-free. 

At last, the unhappy memory of "New Math" will fade. Hooray, 
instead, for "No Math."


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2000-11-05	The Word on Collapsed Toilets

Gordon McNaughton has granted an interview to the BBC, in which he 
gives a splendid account of what it was like to win an Ig Nobel 
Prize. McNaughton shared this year's Public Health prize with his 
co-authors, Jonathan Wyatt and William Tullet, for their alarming 
report, "The Collapse of 
Toilets in Glasgow." [Published in the Scottish Medical Journal, 
vol. 38, 1993, p. 185.]

You can hear the report at
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/955000/audio/_959453_ig.ram


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2000-11-06	Ig on Science Friday - Nov 24

The annual Ig Nobel radio broadcast will be on Friday, November 
24, the day after American (but not Canadian!) Thanksgiving.

The program is National Public Radio's Science Friday with Ira 
Flatow.

To find an NPR station nearby, see: <http://www.npr.org/>

If you are not near a radio, and/or if your radio is not near an 
NPR station, you can hear it live on the web at:
http://www.sciencefriday.com/


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-07	Dutch Explanation

We have an answer -- three answers, in fact -- to investigator 
Hans Klamer's philosophical question presented last month (from 
The Netherlands): why did so many Dutch researchers won Ig Nobel 
Prizes this year, and does it mean anything?

Here are some of the least incoherent responses:

The Netherlands itself is a improbable country, for the most lying 
below sea level, not "on top of the world" or even "down to earth" 
as some other countries are. We are below zero, i.e., closer to 
hell. Thus one hardly can expect top research from the 
Netherlands. Instead, one may expect research influenced by people 
staying in hell, rather than by the nicer and more exciting part 
of the human population.
	--Arno Huiskamp (from Winschoten, the Netherlands)

From the now mythical dike the little Dutch boy plugged with his 
finger, to the Dutch door, to pastries shaped like letters, and 
most recently the compact disc (CD), the Dutch have a centuries-
long tradition of producing things with holes in them. Did I win 
the trip to Nijmegen?
	--Brian R. Speer 

I find the Dutch to be a charming, witty, erudite people, and my 
visits to The Netherlands always finds them perfect hosts ready to 
share their tiny home. They are invariably well educated on 
matters both local and worldly. However, I, too, began to notice 
they often appear where you least expect them. This became most 
evident when this country, which is mostly below sea level, easily 
won the first mountain biking event in the 1996 Olympics. They 
simply excel at doing whatever does not come naturally. The rest 
of us should keep an eye on them.
	--Pete Goldie


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-08	Beautiful Truth / Truthful Beauty Survey

Please take a moment to answer our Scientific Survey #406. The 
subject is beauty and truth.

This survey concerns the immortal (and certified as such by 
numerous authorities) words of the poet John Keats:

       "Beauty is truth, truth beauty ..." 

1. Do you (a) agree or (b) disagree?

2. If you disagree, then what is beauty if not truth? Alternately, 
what is truth if not beauty? (15 words maximum)

Please send survey responses to <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> or to 
Florida Secretary of State K. Harris.


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-09	Kafkaesque Nightmare Survey Results

Here are the results of last month's Kafkaesque Nightmare Survey, 
in which we asked

	What percentage of nightmares are Kafkaesque?

	a) Less than 1%
	b) 1% to 95%
	c) 95% or more

THE RESULTS:

NIGHTMARE		SURVEY
PERCENTAGE		RESPONSE
			PERCENTAGE
-----------------------
Less than 1%	11%
1% to 95%		74%
95% or more		15%

Inevitably, many dreamers had comments. Here are a select few:

If my name was Kafka, 100% of my dreams/nightmares would be 
Kafkaesque. I'll have to go with > 1%, approaching zero. This is 
not meant to minimize the drama or trauma of Collingtonesque 
dreams/nightmares!
	-- Fred Collington

If this survey is really about Kafkaesque nightmares, how come you 
left
out:  (z) < 0%,  (d) > 100% & (e) beetles?
	-- John Allen

What's REALLY Kafkaesque is the system of research support here
in Germany... (readers should look up your editorial board member 
Mark Benecke about that...)
	-- Armin Himmelrath, Cologne, Germany

I must point out that the responses offered are inadequate and
therefore the entire survey is suspect.  Here are the responses 
offered:
        a) Less than 1%
        b) 1% to 95%
        c) 95% or more"
Note that readers who believe that precisely 95% of nightmares are 
Kafkaesque fit into two categories. Faced with such ambiguity, 
some may choose (b), some may choose (c), and some may simply 
decline to answer. Next time you conduct a survey, please consult 
first with an expert on survey design. Incidentally, you'll find 
that my fees are competitive.
	-- Richard G. Niemi

I must report that I am in the fortunate position of having logged 
and categorized my nightmares over the past 37 years. 
	-- Bob Dehnhardt


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2000-11-10	AIR VENTS: Cyprus and Fat

Here are several provocative and/or provoked reactions to items in 
last month's mini-AIR:

Surely, 'Cypress' is a tree. The island is 'Cyprus'. I only 
mention it because it is so unusual to find a typo in AIR.
	--Philip Miller Tate

Not Professor Dorf's fault that he slipped through the cracks. 
Probably his renewal notices were sent to the island of Cypress, 
whereas he's on Cyprus (where there are cypress trees, however). 
None of this is to be confused with Sirens, regardless of the 
charming ladies in black.
	--Joanne Sandstrom

Regarding "The Michigan Conundrum" in mini-AIR 2000-10: I submit 
that since the fat was "lost" there could not be any available as 
samples. I believe that Investigator Weinshank should call the 
number to ascertain the composition of the sample. Thus he could 
bring an end this corpulent conundrum.
	--Rick Godin


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2000-11-11	Cavalcade of HotAIR: WRESTLING, NUTRITION, HUMMING

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

THE EVOLUTIONARY WAR -- A wresting match poster, which first 
appeared in AIR, featuring Stephen J. Gould and Richard Dawkins. 

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE-- Celebrity Nutritionist and Writer Don 
Lemmon and his lovely corresponding wife, Nadia Amanda Alterio-
Lemmon. 

MAY WE RECOMMEND -- Several of the citations that first appeared 
in the "AIRhead Research Review" and "AIRhead Medical Review" 
columns of the AIR, such as:
	<> "Manual Switching Patterns in Private Offices"
	<> "On the Comparative Palatability of Some Dry-Season 
	Tadpoles from Costa Rica" (winner of an Ig Nobel Prize)
	<> Two large collections of Halloween-related 
	research citations
	<> etc.

AIR's take on the Penguin Heads-Up research being conducted 
(partly) by 2000 Ig Nobel Peace Prize winner, the British Royal 
Navy.

FOR TEACHERS: Our ever-growing collection of AIRhead science 
lessons has been given its own separate section of the web site. 
It is a trove of odd, perhaps useful effluvia for teachers. The 
newest addition is a biology lesson about humming and vision.

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2000-11-12	Project AIRhead 2000: MUSCLE, TOAST, TRAILERS

ITEM 903 (submitted by investigator Matt Low)
MEAT AND CHICKEN 2000, is a butcher shop at the Pick 'n' Pay 
Hypermarket in Brisbane, Australia's outer suburbs.

ITEM 499929 (submitted by investigator Kate Wightman)
SmartToast 2000(tm) Microchip 'Brain,' a device that is claimed to  
ensure "consistent toasting performance every time."

ITEM 729400 (submitted by investigator Matt Low)
TRAILERS 2000,' a trailer manufacturing company  in Brisbane, 
Australia.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2000-11-13	MAY WE RECOMMEND: BLINK, SPAGHETTI, KRAMER

Here are further selections from our vast collection of items that 
inexplicably have 2000 as part of their name.

EYE ON THE MEDIA
"Abnormal Blinking of Newscasters," K. Tsubota, F. Egami, T. 
Ohtsuki, and M. Shintani The Lancet, vol. 354, no. 9175, July 24, 
1999, p. 308.
   When compared with a control group, blink rates of 
   Japanese TV newscasters were increased, suggesting a possible
   reaction to reading the news under stressful studio conditions.
   Frequent blinking may be distractive to the viewing audience.

PASTA SURPRISE
"Masturbation Injury Resulting from Intraurethral Introduction of 
Spaghetti," M. Bacci and M. Porena, American Journal of Forensic 
Medicine and Pathology, vol. 7, no. 3, September 1986, pp. 254-5.

SEINFELDIAN DEGENERACY
"On a Degeneracy Theorem of Kramers," Martin J. Klein, American 
Journal of Physics, vol. 20, no 2, 1952, pp. 65-71.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2000-11-14	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


MCGILL UNIV., MONTREAL					TBA
Date, time, etc. TBA

BERKELEY, CA						TBA

ALBERT EINSTEIN PLANETARIUM, WASHINGTON, D.C.	SAT, NOV 25
National Air and Space Museum, 6-8 pm.
AIR editorial board member DR. ERIC SCHULMAN will take you on an 
educational and humorous tour of the history of the Universe, 
followed by a free-ranging discussion of anything and everything 
and a brief look around the night skies of December.
INFO: <http://www.nasm.edu/nasm/planetarium/Einstein.html>

INTERNATIONAL ELECTRON DEVICES MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO	TUES, DEC 12
AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will ruin lunch by discussing the Ig 
Nobel Prizes and the current state of improbable research. Details 
TBA.
INFO: Mark Law <law@tec.ufl.edu> (352) 392-6459

ROCHESTER (NY) MUSEUM & SCIENCE CENTER		 WED, JAN 24, 2001
7:30 pm. AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present the latest on 
"Improbable
Research, the Ig Nobel Prizes, and Aha!-Ha-Ha Moments in Science."
INFO: Paul Porell <paul_porell@rmsc.org> 716-271-4552 x 363

STANFORD UNIVERSITY				 WED, FEB 14, 2001
Valentine's Day improbable research gala with:
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantity Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
Further details TBA.
INFO: Michele Armstrong <michelea@leland.Stanford.EDU>

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO		FRI, FEB 16, 2001
Details TBA. AIR's annual session as part of the annual meeting of 
the American Association for the Advancement of Science. 
Participants will include: 
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantity Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
Further details TBA.

SAS/ACS SPECIAL JOINT MEETING, PRINCETON, NJ	DATE TBA

WEIZMANN INSTITUTE, ISRAEL				MAY 2001

-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2000-11-15	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
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................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2000-11-16	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2000-11-17	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2000, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2000-11-18	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
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