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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-01
January, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================

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2001-01-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-01-01	Table of Contents
2001-01-02	mini Housekeeping
2001-01-03	What's New in the Magazine
2001-01-04	Renaissance Researcher of the Month
2001-01-05	Good Coffee Survey Results (1)
2001-01-06	International Gas Results
2001-01-07	The Young Turk: Mystery Solved
2001-01-08	Crystal Correctness Survey
2001-01-09	Textbook Survey
2001-01-10	What Now? (Spam Gnawing)
2001-01-11	Nothing But Nothing
2001-01-12	The Y2K Anti-Nostalgist
2001-01-13	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Wife, Toilet Victim, etc.
2001-01-14	The Temptations 
2001-01-15	70 Lab Coats and a Strapless Evening Dress
2001-01-16	Project AIRhead 2000: Flow Aid
2001-01-17	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Fowl, Cheating, and Music
2001-01-18	AIRhead Events
2001-01-19	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-01-20	Our Address (*)
2001-01-21	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-01-22	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-02	mini Housekeeping 

There will be AIR shows in:

   Rochester, NY on Jan 24

   Stanford / San Francisco / Berkeley on Feb 14, 16, 19, 20

For details, see section 2001-01-18 below. 


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-03	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:1 (Jan/Feb 2001) is the special IG NOBEL PRIZE issue, chock 
full of fulsome coverage of the recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. 

Special versions of many of the articles will be cropping up on 
the AIR web site during the next few weeks.

A sampling of what's in the magazine:

   <> The acceptance speeches given by the new Ig winners

   <> Action photos of the Great Intelligence Debate and most 
      of its participants: inventor Ray Kurzweil, inventor Dean
      Kamen, Australian Consul General Michael Baume,
      Neuroengineer Jerome Lettvin, ten members of MENSA, 
      three Nobel Laureates, pianist Leonid Hambro, Ecuadoran
      ex-President Jamil Mahuad, and Paul Berman and 
      Osman M. Baker, the smartest undergraduates at,
      respectively, Harvard and MIT (each chosen as such 
      in a random lottery).

   <> A special tribute to the technical innovation 
      known as Miss Sweetie Poo

   <> "Who Will Win the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election?," an 
      analysis by Eric Schulman.

   <> Special tributes to Victor Borge by Leonid Hambro (who
      collaborated with Borge for ten years) and Richard Lederer

   <> and much more....

See the cover and full table of contents, and several of the 
articles posted any day now at 
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6.html>
 
       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-04	Renaissance Researcher of the Month

This month's Renaissance Researcher of the Month is Goronwy Tudor 
Jones of the University of Birmingham School of Continuing 
Studies. Jones' research interests, as listed on the school home 
page, are:

   1. An Introduction to Restricted Welsh Poetic Forms

   2. Analysis of Bubble-Chamber Picture -- Estimate of 
      Mass of Positron

Details of both are at 
<http://www.bham.ac.uk/PACE/Staffpages.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-05	Good Coffee Survey Results (1)

Our  Scientific correctness survey #402, which asked 
"Scientifically speaking, what makes a good cup of coffee?," is 
starting to pay dividends. Here are a few of the more savory 
responses:

I have found that inserting coffee grounds into hot water and 
filtering the suspension into a china receptacle to be a good 
starting point.
	--Martyn Bull

The perfect cup of Science Coffee begins with a solution of 
C8H10N4O2 in plenty of H2O. I like mine with bovine exudate, but 
without added glucose. It should have a specific gravity and 
viscosity somewhat greater than that of pure water and 
substantially less than that of warm peanut butter. It should be 
served at an approximate temperature of 360 K.  Everything else is 
guesswork.
	--Susan Way

Relatively speaking, a good cup of coffee is any cup of coffee 
made outside the USA. And could you use your undoubtedly vast 
influence to get Starbucks out of Australia?  Thanks.
	--Ian Sanderson

More next time.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-06	International Gas Results

Last month's auxiliary survey asked two questions concerning  
French President Chirac's observation that "Each American produces 
three times as much greenhouse gases as a Frenchman."

The survey results show that:

1. 54% of respondents say that President Chirac is correct about 
the gassiness of the average American.

2. Only 12% of respondents say that, President Chirac's 
observation will, directly or indirectly, create an international 
gas-fired conflagration.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-07	The Young Turk: Mystery Solved

The mystery of which Turk is the Young Turk is solved (thanks in 
part to investigator Collier N. Smith). The puzzle, posed last 
month, concerned the landmark research paper:

   "Structural and Functional Aspects of Papain-Like Cysteine
   Proteinases And Their Protein Inhibitors," B. Turk, V. Turk,
   and  D. Turk, Biological Chemistry, vol. 378, nos. 3-4, 
   March-April 1997, pp. 141-50.

The solution arrived in message form:

   Dear Investigators,
   I will try to help you in your detective investigation -- 
   among  the 3 Turks is the youngest Boris Turk and the
   oldest Vito Turk - the third one is for your investigation.
   I wish you a lot of success in your further investigations.

   Expecting correct final result,
   Sincerely yours
   Professor Dr. Vito TURK
   J. Stefan Institute
   Jamova 39
   SI-1000 Ljubljana
   Slovenia
   <http://bio.ijs.si/director.htm>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-08	Crystal Correctness Survey

This month's Scientific Correctness Survey (#605) was inspired by 
a January 14, 2001 Associated Press news report that began as 
follows:

	Twelve of the most popular science textbooks used at
	middle schools nationwide are riddled with errors, a new
	study has found. Researchers compiled 500 pages of errors,
	ranging from maps depicting the equator passing through 
	the southern United States to a photo of singer 
	Linda Ronstadt labeled as a silicon crystal.

Now please answer our survey question:

	In your professional assessment, should singer Linda 
	Ronstadt be labeled as a silicon crystal? (YES/NO)

Please send your response to CRYSTAL CORRECTNESS SURVEY c/o 
<marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-09	Textbook Survey

The survey was led by physicist John Hubisz of North Carolina 
State University. Hubisz is president of the American Association 
of Physics Teachers. 

The AP news report can be read online at
<http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/01/14/textbookerrors.ap/index.html>
It inspires a second AIR survey question. The report says that:

	The study's reviewers tried to contact textbook authors
	with questions, Hubisz said, but in many cases the
	people listed said they didn't write the book, and
	some didn't even know their names had been listed.
	Some of the authors of a physical science book, 
	for example, were biologists.

Our question Number Two is this:

	Should textbooks be used in science classes? (YES/NO)

	If your answer is NO, feel free to suggest
	what specific books or other materials should
	be used instead of textbooks.

Please send your response to TEXTBOOK BROUHAHA c/o 
<marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-10	What Now? (Spam Gnawing)

From time to time we try to update you on the continuing 
activities of various past winners of the Ig Nobel Prize. This is 
another of those times. 

Thanks to investigator and V-Chip Monitor William J. Maloney, we 
now know that the utilizers of Spam, who collectively won the 1992 
Ig Nobel nutrition Prize for their more than half century of 
undiscriminating digestion, have, some of them anyway, been 
experimenting anew. 

The object of their ingestion: Spam Oven Roasted Turkey. Details, 
for the non-faint of stomach, can be seen at 
<http://www.spam.com/sp/sp_ort.htm>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-12	The Y2K Anti-Nostalgist

Last month's mini-AIR mentioned that we've been receiving letters 
from people who miss the excitement of the Y2K watch. This week we 
heard from a therapist who specializes in millennial disorders. He 
asked that we desist from mentioning the subject, which, he gives 
us to understand, can cause discomfort, pain, and bloating to 
those who care. 

We apologize to any of our readers who suffer from Y2K pain and/or 
bloating. 

The topic will not be mentioned here again.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-13	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Wife, Toilet Victim, etc.

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

UPDATE UPDATE: Celebrity Nutritionist -- an update on our recent 
update on Celebrity Nutritionist Don Lemmon and an attractive 
client who is not his attractive wife and who is no longer 
pictured due to request from said attractive wife

RE-DISCOVERY -- The Essence of a Sniff. The article that 
originally appeared in the magazine. Describes what may be a 
revolutionary understanding of how we smell.

ECCENTRICS -- Full and/or not-so-full versions of articles that 
appeared in the magazine's special ECCENTRICS issue. Reports 
concern CHARLES WATERTON, EDWARD D. COPE, FRANK "BRING 'EM BACK 
ALIVE AND READY TO EAT" BUCKLAND, CHONOSUKE OKAMURA, and LEN X. 
FINEGOLD.

HAROLD W. DOWD (with a "w," not a "u") comments on the subject of 
eccentrics.

TOILET COLLAPSE VICTIM -- A letter we received from a gentleman 
who believes he may be one of the victims described in the Ig 
Nobel Prize-winning medical report, "The Collapse of Toilets in 
Glasgow"

ASK SYMMETRA -- Our scientist/supermodel advice columnist solves 
the problem of being unbearably stacked.

BRAIN FOOD PHOTOS -- photos from the premiere performance of "The 
Brain Food Opera"

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-14	The Temptations 

Is the most important social science experiment of our time -- the 
Temptation Island experiment -- in compliance with professional 
standards for the Protection of Human Subjects? Investigator Yuri 
Ostrovsky alerted us to a possible violation of regulations. 

The Temptation Island experiment's published protocol is an 
exemplar of brevity and clarity:

	[F]our unmarried couples travel to the Caribbean to test
	and explore the strength of their relationship.
	Once on the island, the couples are introduced to eligible 
	singles and then separated from their partners until
	the final day of their stay. Over this period, each
	couple will get the opportunity to answer questions
	about themselves and one another, and find out if
	what they think they want is actually what they do want.

See <http://www.fox.com/temptation/> for further details of the 
experiment.

The pertinent federal regulations concerning Protection of Human 
Research Subjects can be found at 
<http://ohrp.osophs.dhhs.gov/humansubjects/guidance/45cfr46.htm>

Investigator Ostrovsky draws our attention (and yours) in 
particular to the oversight responsibilities of the Institutional 
Review Board (IRB). [See 
<http://ohrp.osophs.dhhs.gov/humansubjects/guidance/45cfr46.htm#46.108> for a basic review of IRB functions and operations.]

Investigator Ostrovsky further directs us to review the duties 
charged to the Ethical Advisory Board. [See 
<http://ohrp.osophs.dhhs.gov/humansubjects/guidance/45cfr46.htm#46.204> for an elaboration of same.]

The Temptation Island experiment is a lesson for the 
scientifically inclined student youths of today. Our future will 
be entrusted to these incipient scientists, and for that reason if 
none other, we had all best ensure that they see research 
conducted in approved fashion, with all the i's crossed and the 
t's dotted.

Join us, please, in sending word to the Temptation Island 
experimenters that IRBs must be the keystone to their activities. 
They can be contacted via 
<http://www.fox.com/temptation/lounge.htm>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-15	70 Lab Coats and a Strapless Evening Dress

If you can provide 70 lab coats (and/or 70 pair of safety goggles) 
on the evening of February 10, you can make science history. They 
are needed for the world premiere of Deborah Henson-Conant's full 
orchestral version of "Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening 
Dress. For details see
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/jan/lab-coats.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-01-16	Project AIRhead 2000: Flow Aid

ITEM 020202	 (submitted by investigator Frank J. Nice)
SEPTIC HELPER 2000, details of which can be gleaned at 
<http://www.septic-helper.com/>

ITEM 995205 (submitted by investigator Enko O. Vertlin)
TECHNOLOGY EXPLOSION 2000, a newsletter that imploded in 1999. 
Back issues, which are the only kind there are, can be found at 
<http://www.nswc.navy.mil/cosip/techexpl.shtml>


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-01-17	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Fowl, Cheating, and Music

Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the 
library.

FOWL ODOR
"Electroencephalographic Study of Odor Responses in the Domestic 
Fowl," Tomoko Oosawa, Yoshiyuki Hirano, and Keiichi Tonosaki, 
Physiology & Behavior, vol. 71, nos. 1-2, 2000, pp. 203-5. (Thanks 
to Rita Ormand for bringing this to our attention.)

MICRO SOAP OPERA
"Altruism and Social Cheating in the Social Amoeba Dictyostelium 
discoideum," Joan E. Strassmann, Yong Zhu, And David C. Queller, 
Nature, vol. 408, December 21/28, 2000, pp. 965-7. (Thanks to Ian 
Davis for bringing this to our attention.)

MUSIC APPRECIATION
"Motor Performance of Schizophrenics After Mellow and Frenetic 
Antecedent Music," C. Chambliss, H. McMichael, K. Tyson, C. 
Monaco, and J. Tracy, Perceptual and Motor Skills, vol. 82, no. 1, 
February 1996, pp. 153-4. (Thanks to Bill Tedeschi for bringing 
this to our attention.) The authors, who are at Ursinus College, 
Collegeville, Pennsylvania, report that:
	Pegboard performance was higher after frenetic music
	but unaffected by mellow music; there was 
	no effect on tapping.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2001-01-18	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


ROCHESTER (NY) MUSEUM & SCIENCE CENTER		 WED, JAN 24, 2001
7:30 pm. AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present the latest on 
"Improbable
Research, the Ig Nobel Prizes, and Aha!-Ha-Ha Moments in Science."
INFO: Paul Porell <paul_porell@rmsc.org> 716-271-4552 x 363

SPRINGFIELD (MA) SYMPHONY			SAT, FEB 10, 2001
8 pm. World premiere of Jazz Harpist DEBORAH HENSON-CONANT's
full orchestral version of "Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening
Dress."
INFO:  413-733-2291, <http://www.masslive.com/sso/>
and also <http://www.hipharp.com> and
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/jan/lab-coats.html>
For map see <http://www.masslive.com/sso/direction.html>

STANFORD UNIVERSITY				 WED, FEB 14, 2001
Valentine's Day improbable research gala with:
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantify Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
 <> ...and, and perhaps a special musical performance...
Further details TBA.
INFO: Michele Armstrong <michelea@leland.Stanford.EDU> 
650-723-1655

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO		FRI, FEB 16, 2001
SAN FRANCISCO HILTON HOTEL, Continental Ballroom 1, 8 pm.
AIR's annual session as part of the annual meeting of the American 
Association for the Advancement of Science. Participants will 
include: 
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantify Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
 <> ...and, and perhaps a special musical performance...
Further details TBA.

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO		MON, FEB 19, 2001
SPECIAL SPACIAL BONUS!
Special 1 minute AIR spectacular at the beginning of the Plenary 
Lecture
Be there on time -- 8:00 AM -- to see it.

UC BERKELEY						TUES, FEB 20, 2001
AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS and other AIRheads will appear, speak,
show fascinating things, and then disappear.
Sponsored by the Bay Area Skeptics.
Details TBA.

SAS/ACS SPECIAL JOINT MEETING, PRINCETON, NJ	DATE TBA

WEIZMANN INSTITUTE, ISRAEL			WEEK OF MAY 13-18, 2001
Details TBA.

HEBREW UNIVERSITY OF JERUSALEM			MAY 2001
Tentatively scheduled. Details TBA.

11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY		THURS, OCT 4, 2001
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University


-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-01-19	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
USA			1 yr/$24.95		2 yrs/$44.95
Canada/Mexico	1 yr/$28.95 US 	2 yrs/$49.95 US
Overseas		1 yr/$41.95 US 	2 yrs/$71.95 US
................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-01-20	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2001-01-21	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-01-22	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
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