PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE
================================================================
mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-02
February, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
----------------------------------------------------------------
A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================

-----------------------------
2001-02-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-02-01	Table of Contents
2001-02-02	mini Housekeeping
2001-02-03	What's New in the Magazine
2001-02-04	LFH Survey
2001-02-05	AIR Dining Principle 
2001-02-06	Air Dining Principle 
2001-02-07	Breatharian Potluck
2001-02-08	Food-Based Nutrition
2001-02-09	Ferruginousness
2001-02-10	Expert Challenge
2001-02-11	Accomplishments in Cheating
2001-02-12	Cogno-Intellectual Co-Intelligence
2001-02-13	Eyewitness Multiplicity
2001-02-14	Crystal Opinion
2001-02-15	Textbook Opinions
2001-02-16	HISTORIC MINUTE
2001-02-17	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera
2001-02-18	Project AIRhead 2000: Psycho, Info
2001-02-19	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Blot, Quad, Date, Burp
2001-02-20	AIRhead Events
2001-02-21	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-02-22	Our Address (*)
2001-02-23	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-02-24	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-02	mini Housekeeping 

AIR events this month:

1. BACKLESS GOWN -- "Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Dress" 
will be performed in Springfield, MA. .............. Feb 10

2. BAY AREA. There will be AIR shows in California this month:
	at Stanford .................... Feb 14
	AAAS meeting in San Francisco ......... Feb 16
	at UC Berkeley ................................ Feb 20

For details, see section 2001-02-20 below. 


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-03	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:1 (Jan/Feb 2001) is the special IG NOBEL PRIZE issue, chock 
full of fulsome coverage of the recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. 

As is traditional with the annual Ig issue, this one is late 
getting out. The printer is mailing subscribers' copies this week.

We've put a sampling of the articles onto the AIR web site:

   <> "The Groundhog Oscillation: Evidence of Global 
      Change," by Andrew J. Gerrard, Christina M. Gerrard,
      Mark A. London, Keith A. Soldavin, Timothy J. Kane,
      and Alan Freed

   <> "Who Will Win the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election?," an 
      analysis by Eric Schulman.

   <> Special tributes to Victor Borge by Leonid Hambro (who
      collaborated with Borge for ten years) and Richard Lederer

   <> "To Make Love as a Testee," -- the first person-account 
      by Ida Sabelis, 2000 Ig Nobel Prize co-winner, who was
      the first women to make love inside an MRI machine

Many further delights are in the print magazine.

See the cover and full table of contents, and several of the 
articles at 
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i1/v7i1-
toc.html>
 
       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-04	LFH Survey

We are compiling a list of scientists who have luxuriant, flowing 
hair (LFH). The initial list, assembled by a subcommittee 
comprised of seven members of the American Association for the 
Advancement of Science, is meant as a nucleating seed, from which 
the larger list will grow. Here is the initial list:

	Steven Pinker <http://www.mit.edu/~pinker/>

If you know of a scientist who has luxuriant, flowing hair, and 
who therefore should be included on the list, please send info to 
LUXURIANT HAIR SCIENCE c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>. Please 
include a URL that points to an evidentiary photograph or drawing 
in which the luxuriant, flowing hair (LFH) is clearly evident.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-05	AIR Dining Principle 

It has been brought to our attention that some of our readers eat 
food. For them we offer a set of AIR Dining Principles, which are 
drawn from our own experience. Here is the first: 

==>  AIR Dining Principle #1 
     ------------------------
     LEMMA: If you go to a restaurant that's called 
     "So-and-so's X House," or "House of X," or "X Grill,"
     you should order the X.

     EXAMPLE: If you go to a restaurant called "Frank's
     Steak House," order the steak.

     EXPLANATION: Go to a restaurant called "Frank's
     Steak House" and order the veal scalopini. You will
     immediately see why you should have ordered the steak.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-06	Air Dining Principle 

It has been brought to our attention that some of our readers do 
not eat food. For them we recommend the research conducted by the 
Breatharians. Breatharians subsist joyfully on light and air. 

See <http://www.breatharian.com/> for basic details.

For more advanced topics in Breatharian research, see the work of 
2000 Ig Nobel Literature Prize-winner Jasmuheen -- especially her 
prize-winning book "Living on Light." For further detail, follow 
the links at <http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-
pastwinners.html#ig2000>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-07	Breatharian Potluck

There will be a Breatharian Potluck dinner Thursday night at Judy 
and Ralph's house.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-08	Food-Based Nutrition

For a non-Breatharian snack, meal, or diet, we recommend Food-
Based Nutrition. For info about this fact-growing research topic, 
see <http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/jan/food-based.html> 


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-09	Ferruginousness

Investigator Ralph Watson wrote, again, to tell us that he 
resembles a ferruginous pygmy-owl. Again we requested a 
photograph. Again investigator Watson declined to send one. 

It was investigator Watson who touched off the heated debate here 
as to the exact manner in which the ferruginous pygmy-owl 
terminates its call. 

While not entirely dismissing Stiles and Skutch's 1989 suggestion 
that the ferruginous pygmy-owl sometimes finishes its call with a 
"sharp bark or whinny," investigator Watson has long advocated the 
view that the call of the ferruginous pygmy-owl more commonly ends 
with a series of "high, yelping twitters." He offers as proof a 
recording of the call of what he "guarantees" to be a ferruginous 
Pygmy-owl. This recording can be found at: 
<http://biology.queensu.ca/~mennilld/FEPYsong.wav>

As with all investigator Watson' previous communications, this one 
terminated with the claim: "Pygmy-owl calls elicit a strong 
mobbing response from many passerines, including many warblers and 
vireos. Imitation of this vocalization often attracts more small 
passerines than pishing does."

As yet, we have taken no public position on the matter.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-10	Expert Challenge

This month's Expert Challenge Survey (#6) asks: 

     In a tag-team battle to the death, which would win: 
       (a) a team of Professional Experts; or 
       (b) a team of Amateur Experts?

Please register your expert or amateur opinion at 
EXPERT CHALLENGE c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-11	Accomplishments in Cheating

The British Medical Journal has editorialized (vol. 322, no. 7281, 
February 3, 2001) that "Students need to be taught about what 
constitutes academic misconduct." [See 
http://bmj.com/cgi/content/full/322/7281/0/e] for details.]

In our experience, students learn a concept best when they see the 
highest, best real-life examples of that concept. If you are, or 
were an especially accomplished academic cheat, we invite you to 
send us (preferably in 25 words or less) an account of your own 
greatest triumph. 

Please send your true tale to "I AM AN ACCOMPLISHED ACADEMIC 
FELON" c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-12	Cogno-Intellectual Co-Intelligence

Many of you taken part in Project Cogno-Intellectual, our modest 
effort to insinuate a new, prestigious, utterly meaningless word 
into the mouthings of officials. 

Not surprisingly, some of these officials have appropriated and 
mangled the charming phrase. Still, the meaning endures. 
Investigator Phyllis Tang brings to our attention the work of the 
Co-Intelligence Institute, which is based in Eugene, Oregon. 

We recommend a relaxed, lengthy visit to their web site, 
<http://www.co-intelligence.org/>. Perhaps the delight of delights 
is a list of " Ideas, theories, models," which include the 
following:

     5 Dimensions of Co-Intelligence
     5 Fields of Co-Intelligence
     10 Qualities of Co-Intelligence
     6 Parts of Wholeness
     Four Dynamics of Wholeness
     Co-Intelligence Factors Checklists
     Leadership and Co-Intelligence
     The Power of Story: The Story Paradigm
     More Definitions of Co-Intelligence

And so, inspired by the work of the Co-Intelligence Institute, we 
recommend use of the term "co-intelligence." It is at least fully 
the equal of "cogno-intellectual." Such lovely words! Long may 
they wave on bureaucra-tongues everywhere.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-13	Eyewitness Multiplicity

Here is another citation from our collection of articles by 
authors with the same last name. (Thanks to M. Rose Barlow for 
bringing this to our attention.) This one features a curious 
quasi-resonance of identity issues both in the title and the list 
of co-authors.

"Accuracy of Eyewitness Identification in Showups and Lineups," by 
A. Daniel Yarmey, Meagan J. Yarmey, and A. Linda Yarmey, Law and 
Human Behavior, vol. 20, no. 4, 1996, pp. 459-77.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-14	Crystal Opinion

Should singer Linda Ronstadt be labeled as a silicon crystal? The 
answer is in. The results of last month's Scientific Correctness 
Survey (#605) are:

     32% YES, singer Linda Ronstadt should 
         be labeled as a silicon crystal

     37% NO, singer Linda Ronstadt should not
         be labeled as a silicon crystal

     29% UNDECIDED and/or UNSURE and/or BAFFLED

This was inspired by a January 14, 2001 Associated Press news 
account about science textbooks:

	Researchers compiled 500 pages of errors,
	ranging from maps depicting the equator passing through 
	the southern United States to a photo of singer 
	Linda Ronstadt labeled as a silicon crystal.

Our survey respondents were not short of opinions. Here are four:

"Linda Ronstadt should be labeled as a silicon crystal."
	--Valerie H. Blassey

"What I want to know is, WHY a photo of Linda Ronstadt in a 
science textbook at all? What was the caption supposed to read? 
'The Big Bang'?????"
	-- Thomas D Hubbard

Wouldn't you check her refractive index before posing a question 
like that? (P.S. Do silicon crystals have refractive indices?)
	-- Naomi Stephen

"Unfortunately, you are asking the wrong question. Of course 
singer Linda Ronstadt should not be labeled as a crystal. However, 
this isn't what the textbook did -- it labeled a *photo* of singer 
Linda Ronstadt. The mistake was in the type of crystal. A photo of 
singer Linda Ronstadt should be labeled as silver halide 
crystals."
	--Lee Doron


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-15	Textbook Opinions

The aforementioned researchers inspired us to ask a second 
question. Here are the results of that:

     17% YES, textbooks should be used in science classes

     62% NO, textbooks should not be used in science classes

     19% OTHER

And here is a sampling of commentary:

"Yes - but not as reading material. I'm sure a good science 
teacher could come up with many other uses for the books."
	--Bob Wiegand

"No -- My astronomy professor, Jan Dabrowski, should be used 
instead of textbooks in all science classes. This is not just my 
opinion. Everyone who has taken his class agrees."
	--Monica Eisenschmidt
	Human Studies Major, Marylhurst University

"It occurs to me that Linda Ronstadt might be used in science 
classrooms nationwide instead of textbooks. She can't be much 
worse than the current texts."
	-- SSgt. Brian Niemi 

"Yes, of course. Texts provide a reference, a framework around 
which to develop a course, and, at their best are a source of new 
ideas and experiments to be done. Should a science class be 
entirely text-based? No -- in science, as in all subject, students 
need to actually _do_ what it is the course is about. No one would 
expect a student to take an English class without ever writing a 
paper (I hope). Similarly, science students need to do science, 
which cannot be done by reading a text."
	--Lillian Van Rompay 
	High School Math Teacher, Ann Arbor, MI 

NOTE: The report that inspired all this is available on the web at 
<http://www.psrc-online.org/curriculum/book.html>. (Thanks to 
investigator Adrian Smith for tracking it down.)

----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-16	HISTORIC MINUTE

If you are going to the AAAS annual meeting in San Francisco, be 
sure to come to the Annals of Improbable Research session Friday 
evening, Feb 16.

And if you're an early riser, come to the special AIR presentation 
of Eric Schulman's "The History of the Universe in One Hundred 
Words or Less." It will open the Plenary Session on Monday 
Morning, Feb 18.

For schedules see Section 2001-02-20 below.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-17	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

CHEMISTRY LESSON -- TODAY'S WATER: In which we explore the 
question, "How large is an 8 oz. glass?"

WASHINGTON HEIGHT REQUIREMENT: An exclusive AIR news scoop. The 
new President of the US has imposed a minimum height requirement 
on ushers.

MEMORABLE RECALL -- UNDECLARED EGG IN EGGROLLS

NON DRINKING & SERENE HABITS: A letter we received from a 
stranger, " a young man of 38 years, completely normal, and a 
healthy person, with non drinking & serene habits."

MEMORABLE RECALL -- GARLIC-FLAVORED PIG EARS

MAY WE RECOMMEND -- HEALTHY HOLY WATER

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-02-18	Project AIRhead 2000: Psycho, Info

A further selection from our immense collection of items that 
inexplicably include "2000" in their names:
 
ITEM #83717 (submitted by investigator Mel Siegel)
PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS 2000, book from Prentice Hall promising 
information on how to obtain unsurpassed happiness, infinite 
riches, love, glowing health, a satisfying career and more.    

ITEM #33827 (submitted by investigator B.R. Richardson)
INFOSTATION 2000, Chase Manhattan Bank NA Global Securities 
Services (GSS) group - software tools created so that "securities 
managers can quickly and easily develop strategies to manage their 
securities."


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-02-19	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Blot, Quad, Date, Burp

Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the 
library.

BLOTTO
"Blotting at 25," Ed M. Southern, Trends in Biochemical Sciences, 
vol. 25, December 2000, pp. 585-6. (Thanks to F.T. O'Rourke for 
bringing this to our attention.)

HARD TO SQUARE
"Preferences in Quadrangles Reconsidered," H. Ohta, Perception, 
vol. 28, 4, 1999; pp. 505-17.

A PRELIMINARY APPROACH
"Dating -- Purposes and Methods -- Some Preliminary Comments," M. 
Vuagnat, Archives des Sciences, vol. 46, no. 2, 1993, pp. 145-146. 
(Thanks to Wendy Cooper for bringing this to our attention.)

WARNING SOUNDS
"Repetitive Eructation as a Manifestation of Obsessive-Compulsive 
Disorder," Stephen J. Zella, Douglas L. Geenens, and James N. 
Horst, Psychosomatics, vol. 39, no. 3, May-June 1998, pp. 299-301. 
(Thanks to Judith Baker for bringing this to our attention.) The 
authors describe their patient thusly:
	Reports the case of a 9-yr-old female who presented at 
	an outpatient psychiatric clinic with a chief complaint
	of, "I'm afraid I'm going to throw up." This concern was
	accompanied by high tension related to fear of 
	impending emesis, and was consistently followed by a
	loud belch lasting 3-5 seconds, resulting in
	partial, but significant, reduction in tension.

For a much more extensive list of citations, subscribe to AIR.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2001-02-20	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


SPRINGFIELD (MA) SYMPHONY			SAT, FEB 10, 2001
8 pm. Symphony Hall, Court Street, Springfield.
World premiere of Jazz Harpist DEBORAH HENSON-CONANT's
full orchestral version of "Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening
Dress."
INFO:  413-733-2291, <http://www.masslive.com/sso/>
and also <http://www.hipharp.com> and
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/jan/lab-coats.html>
For map see <http://www.masslive.com/sso/direction.html>

STANFORD UNIVERSITY				 WED, FEB 14, 2001
7:30 pm. 
Valentine's Day improbable research gala with:
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantify Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
 <> ...and, and, and... (probably!) a special performance of
    songs from the Ig Nobel science mini-operas featuring
    pianist Nicki Kerns and tenor/baritone Ahmed El-Gasseir
WHERE: This will most likely be at Tresidder Union, Oak West room,
which is on Teresa Street on the Stanford campus. A map is at
<http://www.stanford.edu/home/map/search_map.html>
	* AS MINI-AIR GOES TO PRESS THERE IS A SLIGHT CHANCE THAT
	* THIS EVENT WILL BE MOVED TO A DIFFERENT ROOM.
	* IF SO, THAT WILL BE POSTED SEVERAL DAYS IN ADVANCE
	* AT <http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/schedule.txt>
INFO: Michele Armstrong <michelea@leland.Stanford.EDU>
650-723-1655

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO		FRI, FEB 16, 2001
SAN FRANCISCO HILTON HOTEL, Continental Ballroom 1, 8 pm.
AIR's annual session as part of the annual meeting of the American 
Association for the Advancement of Science. Participants will 
include: 
 <> AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS
 <> "How to Quantify Failure" author MARTIN J. MURPHY
 <> "UFOs & Internal Combustion Engines" author SCOTT SANDFORD
 <> "Postal Experiments" author JEFF VAN BUEREN
 <> "Structured Procrastination" author JOHN PERRY
 <> and other surpris(ing) personages
 <> ...and, and, and... (probably!) a special performance of
    songs from the Ig Nobel science mini-operas featuring
    pianist Nicki Kerns and tenor/baritone Ahmed El-Gasseir

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SAN FRANCISCO		MON, FEB 19, 2001
SPECIAL SPACIAL BONUS!
Special 1 minute AIR spectacular -- a performance of "The History 
of the Universe in 100 Words or Less" -- at the beginning of the 
Plenary Lecture. Be there on time -- 8:00 AM -- to see it.
SEE MEETING SCHEDULE FOR ROOM NUMBER

UC BERKELEY						TUES, FEB 20, 2001
7 pm. 5634 Tolman Hall
AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS and other AIRheads will appear, speak,
show fascinating things, and then disappear.
Sponsored by the Bay Area Skeptics.
INFO: <tullyann@pacbell.net> 415 927-1548 <www.baskeptics.org>

WASHINGTON DC					APR 20, 2001
Details TBA

SAS/ACS SPECIAL JOINT MEETING, PRINCETON, NJ	DATE TBA

WEIZMANN INSTITUTE, ISRAEL			WEEK OF MAY 13-18, 2001
Details TBA.

HEBREW UNIVERSITY OF JERUSALEM			MAY 2001
Tentatively scheduled. Details TBA.

11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY		THURS, OCT 4, 2001
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University


-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-02-21	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
USA			1 yr/$24.95		2 yrs/$44.95
Canada/Mexico	1 yr/$28.95 US 	2 yrs/$49.95 US
Overseas		1 yr/$41.95 US 	2 yrs/$71.95 US
................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-02-22	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2001-02-23	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-02-24	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
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The body of your message should contain ONLY the words 
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