PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE
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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-03
March, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
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2001-03-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-03-01	Table of Contents
2001-03-02	What's New in the Magazine
2001-03-03	Seattle -- Long May It Wave
2001-03-04	Math Awareness Survey
2001-03-05	She Oughta Be in Movie Ceremonies
2001-03-06	Moniker Reversal - Makhlouf
2001-03-07	Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club Update
2001-03-08	The Beard Vanishes
2001-03-09	Mustache Hair Hazard
2001-03-10	Cogno-Intellectual Astronomy
2001-03-11	AIR VENTS: Breatharianism, Mystery, Fruit
2001-03-12	Accomplished Cheaters
2001-03-13	Expert Challenge Met
2001-03-14	This Month's Coded Message
2001-03-15	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera
2001-03-16	Project AIRhead 2000: To Boldly Stop?
2001-03-17	Park Prohibition Competition
2001-03-18	April Fools Shocker
2001-03-19	AIR Recommends: Studious Searching
2001-03-20	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Macaroni, Cheese, and Warts
2001-03-21	AIRhead Events
2001-03-22	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-03-23	Our Address (*)
2001-03-24	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-03-25	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-02	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:2 (Mar/Apr 2001) is a special YAVIS issue. 

The issue is now at the printers, and should be emerging soon..

<> "It's Good to Be a YAVIS," by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, with 
Lucille Zimmerman and G. Neil Martin. YAVIS is an ACRONYM for 
"Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, and Successful." The 
authors give a primer about this, the most coveted category of 
psychiatric patients. 

<> "On the Anatomy of Hans Brinker," by Cindy van den Boom, 
Matthew de Roode, and Alex Sieval. A forensic investigation 
produced an X-ray of the hand of Hans Brinker. A deformity -- an 
enlargement -- of one finger may be the key to understanding how 
Brinker was able to prevent a flood in his native Holland.

<> "Professor Lipscomb Makes a Cup of Tea," by Marc Abrahams. A 
photo-essay showing how the 1976 Nobel chemistry prize winner's 
novel method.

<> "Soft is Hard." This new regular AIR feature presents evidence 
why the "soft" sciences are the hardest to do well.

Many further delights are in the print magazine.

See the cover and full table of contents will be posted later this 
month on the AIR web site 
 
       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)


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2001-03-03	Seattle -- Long May It Wave

Immediately following the February 28 earthquake, we surveyed 
Seattle-area researchers, asking them "Were you moved?"

The most cogent reply came from AIR ed board member Angela Close, 
an archaeologist based at the University of Washington. Here is 
Close's report:
				*	*	*
"Quite unmoved. I was in the middle of a lecture to 200+ students 
when it struck. I realised something was going on when they began 
to dive under the desks - this is unusual behaviour even for 
Archaeology 105. So I got under a table too, and then crawled out 
because I was in an immensely tall room and could actually see 
waves going up the walls - one had to watch. When it stopped, I 
told the students they could leave if they wished, but that I was 
going to continue quite the most exciting lecture on Mesopotamia I 
have ever given. And I did.

"I now know that a large lecture-class with an earthquake is no 
more stressful than a large lecture-class without an earthquake."
				*	*	*


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2001-03-04	Math Awareness Survey

April will be Math Awareness Month. For details see 
<http://mathforum.com/mam/01/>.

Please take part in our Math Awareness Survey:

	Are you aware of math? [YES/NO]

Send your completed survey form to:
MATH AWARENESS SURVEY c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-05	She Oughta Be in Movie Ceremonies

Investigator Joe Zeff attended AIR's recent seminar at the AAAS 
annual meeting, in San Francisco. He writes:

	I was quite taken, yet again, by Miss Sweetie Poo's 
	ability to keep the Ig Nobel acceptance speeches down to
	a reasonable length. Have you considered offering
	her services to the Academy Awards broadcast?

The answer is yes. And we take this opportunity to again publicly 
offer this technology to the Academy Awards organizers.
Miss Sweetie Poo can be seen at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i1/v7i1-toc.html>
She can be heard at:
<http://www.sciencefriday.com/pages/2000/Dec/hour1_122900.html>


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2001-03-06	Moniker Reversal - Makhlouf

Here is another entry in our growing collection of names that are 
especially susceptible to moniker reversal. Investigator Jeffrey 
King gets credit for this discovery:

	Professor Makhlouf M. Makhlouf
	http://me.wpi.edu/Makhlouf.htm


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2001-03-07	Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club Update

There are many scientists who have luxuriant, flowing hair (LFH), 
it turns out. The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists, the 
formation of which we announced last month, is in glorious flower. 
We have given the Club its own web site:

<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>

Investigator Lucille Silverman sent in this published observation 
by club LFH Club nucleating member Steven Pinker:
	"Luxuriant hair is always pleasing, possibly because it
	shows not only current health but a record of health
	in the years before. Malnutrition and disease weaken 
	the hair as it grows from the scalp, leaving a fragile 
	spot in the shaft. Long hair implies a long history 
	of good health."


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-08	The Beard Vanishes

Investigator Eric Ruff, who is Director/Curator of the Yarmouth 
County Museum, sent this research plea:

"Hi, I'm a bearded man who was challenged to shave off my 32-year-
old beard (which my wife of 28 years has never seen me without) if 
our Society could raise $100,000 for our museum expansion. Last 
week we reached our goal and I will lose it (temporarily) on March 
28th. We hope to have a chorus line of "Men with Beards" as well 
as lots of other fun that night. Check our web site 
<www.ycn.ca/museum/yarcomus.htm>. Go to Expansion, then to Eric's 
Beard."

We wish him well. 


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-09	Mustache Hair Hazard

If you are unaware of the dangers of mustache hair, as we were, 
please read the historic report "A hair as the nucleus of an 
appendicular calculus," Athelstan Saw, British Medical Journal, 
vol. 190, no.455, 1901. If your collection of century old-BMJ's is 
not handy, then read the report on-line at 
<http://bmj.com/cgi/content/full/322/7286/587/b>


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2001-03-10	Cogno-Intellectual Astronomy

Behold a newly discovered fruit from Project Cogno-Intellectual, 
our effort to insinuate a concocted, meaningless phrase into the 
conversation of others. Thanks to investigator Brian W. Darvell 
for bringing this one to our attention:

	<http://www.obs.aau.dk/~hans/mons/workshop1/instruct.html>
	MONS Workshop - Instructions for authors
	The proceedings will be published at Aarhus University.
	...
	Note that the main purpose of these Proceedings is to
	define the cogno-intellectual science case, and much of
	the material will find its way into the "Phase A Study".
	It is therefore quite acceptable for you to recycle material
	from previous papers and to expand on the scientific
	possibilities of the mission beyond what was said in 
	your talk.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-11	AIR VENTS: Breatharianism, Mystery, Fruit

Here are some recent effusions from readers:

A MATTER OF TASTE
"I was intrigued to see the following information on the 
Breatharian web site <http://www.breatharian.com/title.html> 
describing an upcoming seminar: How much: $425.00 includes the 
seminar, a single occupancy hotel room, meals and full use of the 
Sierra Hot Spring's vast property and healing pools. If the 
Breatharian philosophy has any merit, I would have thought meals 
were somewhat unnecessary..."
	--Tony Whittaker

TASTY LITTLE NOTHING
"I checked out the 'Breatharian pot-luck' in February's Mini-AIR 
and was fascinated to find, in the <www.breatharian.com> web site, 
a link to <www.fromages.com>"
	--Carmela Allevato and Jim Quail

DEBUNKED FRUIT
"About your web site's "Food-Based Nutrition" feature -- There is 
nothing 'intriguingly mysterious' about the red and white FDA 
logo. It's the top of an apple. The stem is sticking out with a 
little leaf attached."
	--Maggie Newman


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-12	Accomplished Cheaters

The "I AM AN ACCOMPLISHED ACADEMIC FELON" solicitation last month 
drew many responses. Our readers, it turns out, are an 
accomplished lot. The juiciest of the confessions came with pleas 
that we not publish them; we are wistfully complying with those 
requests.

Here is a typical confession that we DO have permission to print:

	Knowing that my British Literature professor sent the final
	exams to the print shop in early December, I staked out
	the mail room to see when the clerk picked up this 
	professor's mail for delivery. For about a week, I showed up
	a half-hour earlier than the clerk and delivered the mail
	for the English department myself. I figure the that the
	price I paid for cheating was balanced by the free labor
	the school got out of me as an unpaid mail clerk during
	that week.
		--Eric Waxman

For another, the shocking confession of investigator Dwight Fisher 
-- too shocking, but more important, too wordy for inclusion in 
mini-AIR, see <http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/fisher-cheat.html>

Several readers happily recommended the book which was mentioned 
in the BMJ editorial that sparked off our project:

	"Cheating on Tests: How to Do It, Detect It, and 
	Prevent It," by Gregory J. Cizek (1999; Erlbaum)
	
Especially the chapter "How to Cheat: A Compendium of Methods".


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-13	Expert Challenge Met

Last month's Expert Challenge Survey (#6) asked: 

     In a tag-team battle to the death, which would win: 
       (a) a team of Professional Experts; or 
       (b) a team of Amateur Experts?

The votes have been cast, collected, and partially counted. The 
counting has been stopped per order of the survey referee. Here 
are the results:
	Amateur Experts		50%
	Professional Experts	50%
Thus the winners are: the Professional Experts

Here are selected voter comments:

"As an experimental psychologist, I am always interested in this 
(till now unasked) question. The answer? (d) the public."
	--Kirsten L. Rewey

"The answer is obvious. Professional Experts, by their very 
nature, are overpaid and under-motivated, whereas Amateur Experts 
are lean and hungry, looking to prove themselves. Amateur Experts 
in a landslide!"
	-- David Schultz

"The professional experts would prevail, based on the same 
principle that holds in tug-of-war. The side with finite numbers 
will always get out-pulled by the side with infinite numbers. One 
might naively think that... [EDITOR'S NOTE: REMAINDER OF LENGTHY, 
THEORETICAL EXPLANATION HAS BEEN EXCISED DUE TO SPACE 
LIMITATIONS.] ... Imaginary experts would simply crush them.  For 
their own good, I might add."
	--David Murray


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-14	This Month's Coded Message

Here is this month's unbreakably coded message:

	Xvpoa a rekrek fd h dofihoah ohohoiahs sadjas
	asjsdafjkafjasfkjfsajsadfljsdfjsadfj rekrek
	afjksdfjkaf af rekrek jjsauj pdjngjojaohj.

[SOLUTION TO LAST MONTH'S MESSAGE: "Bhhjklzdga gvhaf kjhafd."]


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-15	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

THREE HOURS OF NOISE, a science lesson:
<http://www.improbable.com/teach/lessons2001/office-noise.html>

MORE FROM THE CELEBRITY NUTRITIONIST AND HIS WIFE:
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/feb/celeb-nutri-3.html>
and
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/feb/celeb-nutri-4.html>

HERB SIMON -- Our 2000 interview with the Nobel Laureate (Simon 
passed away last month):
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6/v6i4/herb-simon.html>

IDA SABELIS -- The first-hand account (with photos) of an Ig Nobel 
Winner:
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i1/sabel-speech-7-1.html>

RICHARD LEDERER'S SALUTE TO VICTOR BORGE:
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i1/lederer-borge-7-1.html>

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF YEARBOOK PICTURES
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/feb/yearbook-pix-3.html>

THREE CLASSICS from our AIRchives:

--THE TAXONOMY OF BARNEY
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/barney.htm>

--APPLES AND ORANGES
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/air-1-3-apples.html>

--CAFETERIA REVIEW - COLD SPRING HARBOR
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/cold.htm>

AH, NATURE! (A musing about press releases)
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/ah-nature.html>

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-16	Project AIRhead 2000: To Boldly Stop?

We have received letters imploring that we stop publishing 
selections from Project AIRhead 2000, our immense collection of 
items that inexplicably include "2000" in their names.

New items continue to pour into the collection. Here, for example, 
is ITEM #68404 (submitted by investigator Frank J. Nice):

	TOP FLITE XL 2000 IRONS, golf clubs that are documented at
	<http://www.topflite.com/tf_golfclubs.html>

Should the project be halted? If (and only if) you have strong 
views on this, send them to: 
PROJECT 2000 OPINION c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-17	Park Prohibition Competition

In all the world, which public park has the longest list of 
prohibitions? By this we mean such directives as "NO DOGS," "NO 
SMOKING," "NO ROLLER-BLADING," etc. This survey was suggested by 
investigator Andrea Liles, who was impressed by the number of 
prohibitions she saw posted in Philadelphia city parks.

The rules:
1. The prohibitions must be posted in an easily visible spot in or 
near the park.
2. You must be able to supply a photo (should we request it) of 
the sign listing the prohibitions.

We will send a handsome printed proclamation to the highest 
official who is theoretically responsible for overseeing the 
winning park, and will publicly celebrate him or her, and the park 
and the prohibitions.

Please send your nomination to:
PARK PROHIBITION COMPETITION c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>
Include the name and location of the park, and a complete list of 
the prohibitions.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-03-18	April Fools Shocker

If you are looking for the perfectly shocking way to help someone 
celebrate April Fools Day, we recommend a gift subscription to the 
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). Since most people -- even 
most mini-AIR readers) believe that the magazine (AIR, as 
contrasted with mini-AIR) does not actually exist, the look of 
shock and perhaps delight when a copy arrives on your victim's 
doorstep will be incalculable. See section 2001-03-22 below.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-19	AIR Recommends: Studious Searching

This month we inaugurate yet another mini-AIR monthly feature: 
"Research Spotlight." We select for your special attention a 
research report that is probably worth your getting a copy and 
showing it to each and every one of your colleagues and 
acquaintances.

This month's selection:

"Searching for Sexually Explicit Materials on the Internet: An 
Exploratory Study of College Students' Behavior and Attitudes," 
Patricia Goodson, Deborah McCormick, and Alexandra Evans, Archives 
of Sexual Behavior, vol. 30, no. 2, April 2001, pp. 101-18. 
(Thanks to Stephen Pratt for bringing this to our attention.) The 
authors are at the University of Texas at San Antonio.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-20	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Macaroni, Cheese, and Warts

Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the 
library.

ANTARCTIC MACARONI CONSUMPTION
"Heart Rate and Rate of Oxygen Consumption of Exercising Macaroni 
Penguins," J. A. Green, P. J. Butler, A. J. Woakes, I. L. Boyd and 
R. L. Holder, Journal of Experimental Biology, no. 204, part 4, 
February 1, 2001, pp. 673-84.
(Thanks to Oliver Baker for bringing this to our attention.) The 
authors describe how they got their data:
	Twenty-four macaroni penguins (Eudyptes chrysolophus) from 
	three groups, breeding males (N=9), breeding females (N=9) 
	and moulting females (N=6), were exercised on 
	a variable-speed treadmill.

GUTS, CHEESE, AND DETERMINATION
"Scanning Electron Microscopy Determination of String Mozzarella 
Cheese in Gastric Contents," S.F. Platek, J.B. Crowe, N. Ranieri, 
and K.A. Wolnick,  Journal of Forensic Science, vol. 46, no. 1, 
2001, pp. 131-4. (Thanks to Bea Thomas and Al Tapley for bringing 
this to our attention.)

LOW-DOWN MISMANAGEMENT
"Editorial on Management of Anal Warts is Misleading," Lynn A 
Riddell and Anne Edwards, British Medical Journal, vol. 322, 
February 24, 2001, p. 494. (Thanks to B.F. Wong for bringing this 
to our attention.)

For a much more extensive list of citations, subscribe to AIR.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2001-03-21	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


WASHINGTON DC					APR 20, 2001
Details TBA

SAS/ACS SPECIAL JOINT MEETING, PRINCETON, NJ	DATE TBA

WEIZMANN INSTITUTE, ISRAEL			WEEK OF MAY 13-18, 2001
Details TBA.

HEBREW UNIVERSITY OF JERUSALEM			MAY 2001
Tentatively scheduled. Details TBA.

11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY		THURS, OCT 4, 2001
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University


-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-22	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
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Zip or postal code: 
Country 
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................................................................ 
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................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-23	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2001-03-24	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-03-25	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
	LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU 
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words 
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