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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-04
April, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================

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2001-04-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-04-01	Table of Contents
2001-04-02	What's New in the Magazine
2001-04-03	Delightful Death Challenge
2001-04-04	The Science of G. Bush
2001-04-05	Celebrity Nutritionist Research
2001-04-06	McGurk Aftershock
2001-04-07	Finger-Pointing: Hans Brinker Mixup
2001-04-08	Math Awareness Muddle
2001-04-09	Moniker Reversal (1) -- M.M.M. Mystery
2001-04-10	Moniker Reversal (2) -- S. Shalaby
2001-04-11	Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club Expands
2001-04-12	AIR VENTS: Softness and Persistence
2001-04-13	Egghead Intellectual Bimbos
2001-04-14	Last Month's Coded Message
2001-04-15	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera
2001-04-16	Project AIRhead 2000 Verdict
2001-04-17	Prohibitive Parks
2001-04-18	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Well-Heeled Medicos
2001-04-19	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Steps, Salutes, Torture, Lines
2001-04-20	AIRhead Events
2001-04-21		How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-04-22	Our Address (*)
2001-04-23	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-04-24	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-02	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:2 (Mar/Apr 2001) is a special YAVIS ("Young, Attractive, 
Verbal, Intelligent, and Successful") Psychology issue. Here are 
some of its articles in addition to those listed here last month:

The lead article, "It's Good to Be a YAVIS," can be read at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i2/yavis-7-2.html>

<> "The Value of Self-Acknowledgement," by Greg Crowther. 
Describes a simple method to bolster one's scientific reputation. 

<> "Billing Account Number Analysis -- Why It's So Hard to pay Off 
the National Debt," by Scott Sandford. Explores in depth the 
theory that account numbers are inversely proportional to their 
importance. (This builds on a suggestion originally raised in 
mini-AIR 1999-08.)

<> "May We Recommend." This issue's collection highlights, among 
others, the little-appreciated "Phase Transitions in the Gas of 
Bags."

<> "AIRhead Research Review." This issue's collection details, 
among others, the much overlooked "Skipping and Hopping of 
Undergraduates: Recollections of When and Why."

...and much, much more.

See the cover and full table of contents at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i2/v7i2-toc.html> 

       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)

----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-03	Delightful Death Challenge

You (and we) have been issued a delicious challenge. Investigator 
Samantha-Yvette Sandoval writes:

"I challenge your readers to top this. It's a medical report, 

	"Fatal Hot Coffee Scald of the Larynx. Case Report," 
	P.F. Mellen, M.F. Golle, and J.E. Smialek, American 
	Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, vol. 16,
	no. 2, June 1995, pp. 117-9. 

"The case took place in Baltimore in the US. I challenge your 
readers to come up with medical reports of fatalities caused by 
supposedly relaxing beverages or snack foods. Or, for that matter, 
by heath foods."

We hope, dear readers, that you will rise to the challenge.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-04	The Science of G. Bush

As a service for our readers and for the general public, the 
Annals of Improbable Research is now maintaining a list of 
scientific research reports authored or co-authored by G. Bush. It 
is located at
<http://www.improbable.com/news/ongoing/bush-science.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-05	Celebrity Nutritionist Research

What is the nature of celebrity nutritionism? Investigator T.C. 
Anathema writes:

"I am intrigued by the adventures of celebrity nutritionist Don 
Lemon, his attractive wife Nadia Alterio-Lemmon, and their mutual 
friend and fitness celebrity Michelle Ralabate, as described in 
their correspondence to you, which you have kindly published on 
your web site. As a consequence, I find myself pondering some 
basic questions.

"(1) What, exactly, is a celebrity nutritionist? Is it a 
nutritionist who is a celebrity? Is it someone who studies 
celebrity nutrition, whatever that is? Is someone who counsels 
celebrities about nutrition? (2) Do celebrities have different 
nutritional needs and characteristics than non-celebrities? I 
intend to study these matters."

We will keep you apprised of Investigator Anathema's progress, if 
any, on these questions.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-06	McGurk Aftershock

Last month's report about recent Seattle earthquake caused one 
reader to vibrate. Investigator Rita McGurk takes affront at 
Angela Close's claim that "I was in the middle of a lecture to 
200+ students when it struck. I realised something was going on 
when they began to dive under the desks - this is unusual 
behaviour even for Archaeology 105."

McGurk squawks that:
"So now I am expected to believe that there are actually 200+ 
students in Seattle who wish to study archaeology? I find it even 
harder to believe that there are 200+ students at University of 
Washington who can even spell it. But perhaps that's the midterm. 
Now the diving under the desks part, that I can believe."


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-07	Finger-Pointing: Hans Brinker Mixup

Hans Brinker scholars flooded our switchboard with e-vitriol 
concerning the article "On the Anatomy of Hans Brinker," by Cindy 
van den Boom, Matthew de Roode, and Alex Sieval, which appears in 
the March/April issue of the magazine. The article presents 
forensic evidence that Hans Brinker had a hypertrophied index 
finger, with which he was able to plug a hole in a dike and save 
Holland. Typical is this quibble from investigator Jim Shields: 

"I regret to tell you that Hans Brinker has no connection with 
plugging 
the leaky dike, but is associated with the Silver Skates."


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-08	Math Awareness Muddle

April is said to be Math Awareness Month. Thank you to everyone 
who took part in our Math Awareness Survey, which asked

	Are you aware of math? [YES/NO]

The results are now in:

	Eighty-four percent (48%) of respondents 
	say they are aware of math.

Further details, or at least copious comments, can be ingested at
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/math-awareness.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-09	Moniker Reversal (1) -- M.M.M. Mystery

Questions, questions, questions have come in concerning last 
month's entry in our growing collection of names that are 
especially susceptible to moniker reversal, Professor Makhlouf M. 
Makhlouf <http://me.wpi.edu/Makhlouf.htm>. All of them were 
essentially the same question, posed here by investigator Rick 
Godin:

	"What does the M. in Professor Makhlouf M. Makhlouf's 
name represent? "

We do not know. But perhaps some enterprising researcher will 
tackle this problem.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-10	Moniker Reversal (2) -- S. Shalaby

This month's new moniker reversal scientist-celebrity was 
submitted by investigator David L. Elliott, who wrote:

"As to reversible names-- the best known such scientist probably 
is polymer chemist Dr. Shalaby W. Shalaby, sometime Sigma Xi 
officer who worked at... Johnson and Johnson. A web search will 
turn up many hits for his books, company (PolyMed) and research. 
For example:
<http://199.72.49.25/isbn/0841233772.html>"


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-11	Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club Expands

Like the luxuriant, flowing hair of its members, the Luxuriant 
Flowing Hair Club for Scientists is growing nicely. New member 
Riccardo DeSalvo of the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave 
Observatory (LIGO) Project typifies the enthusiasm of the new crop 
of members:

	"My hair has a large dynamic range."

Admire for yourself DeSalvo and the other new members, all of whom 
are listed on the club's web site:
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-12	AIR VENTS: Softness and Persistence

Here are some recent effusions from readers:

"Your new feature 'Soft is Hard,' which "presents evidence
why the "soft" sciences are the hardest to do well" got me 
thinking. Social Science... Political Science... My friend has a 
saying: 'Any field of study that uses the word "science" in its 
own description isn't science.'"
	--Robert J. Bendesky

"I have now submitted thirty-seven different articles for 
publication in the Annals of Improbable Research. You have seen 
fit to reject all of them. Don't think that this will discourage 
me. I can be unbelievably persistent."
	--Todd Cannella, M.D.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-13	Egghead Intellectual Bimbos

We have received a complaint alleging the involvement of "egghead 
intellectual bimbos" with AIR and with the Ig Nobel Prize 
ceremonies. The accusation confuses and delights us. We would be 
mildly interested to hear from anyone who can shed light on the 
matter.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-14	Last Month's Coded Message

There was an error in last month's unbreakably coded message. It 
was incorrectly given as:

	Xvpoa a rekrek fd h dofihoah ohohoiahs sadjas
	asjsdafjkafjasfkjfsajsadfljsdfjsadfj rekrek
	afjksdfjkaf af rekrek jjsauj pdjngjojaohj.

It should have been:
	77777 7 777777 77 7 77777777 777777777 777777
	777777777777777777777777777777777777 777777
	77777777777 77 777777 777777 7777777777777,

We apologize for any frustration this may have caused.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-15	Cavalcade of HotAIR: Egg, Usher, Etcetera

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

THE EXTRA SPECIAL THEORY OF RELATIVITY
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/extra-relativity.html>

ART HEADACHES
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/art-headache.html>

YOU GO GIRL -- a research project that invites your participation
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/women-bowel.html>

HOW TO DATE: Some recipes for scientists who yearn to date.
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/date-advice.html>

A SORDID PHYSICS LESSON -- Bifocal Optics
<http://www.improbable.com/teach/lessons2001/bifocals.html>

AN AIR QUASI-CLASSIC -- Cogno-Intellectualism, Rhetorical Logic, 
and the Craske-Trump Theorem (from AIR 6:5)
<http://www.cs.rug.nl/%7Emichael/cogno.pdf>

A NEW ANTI-QUACKERY TOOL?
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/conscience-pharma.html>

LEECH MOBILE HOME
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/mar/leech-home.html>

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-04-16	Project AIRhead 2000 Verdict

Opinions were plentiful and strong about the future of Project 
AIRhead 2000, our immense collection of items that inexplicably 
include "2000" in their names. The vast majority wish the project 
to take a vacation, perhaps a 2000-year vacation. However, nearly 
six people desire otherwise. Here is a sampling of their opinions: 

"Project AIRhead 2000 should not be halted, simply because the 
item submitted by myself (relatively long ago, on POLLENA 2000 
washing powder) has not yet been published. Therefore, it should 
be continued at least until this item has appeared in mini-AIR."
	--Zdzislav Szczerbinski

"Sirio 2000 is a brand of oranges made by 'ditta Salvatore 
Brancato' from Palagonia, Sicily. Phone ++39 095 7952564. This of 
course is also a vote in the Project AIRead 2000 Opinion poll: a 
strong YES!"
	--Alberto Notarbartolo

"No! Project Airhead 2000 should *not* be halted! The poignancy of 
the items only increases as the year 2000 recedes further into the 
past! Please note! My views on this are strong! You can tell from 
the punctuation!"
	--Roy Freborg

The vote is thus deemed to be a tie. Hereafter be not surprised 
if, from time to time, a 2000 item or two appears in this space...


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-17	Prohibitive Parks

Nay-saying municipalities have launched themselves (with some help 
form mini-AIR readers) heartily into the Park Prohibitions Contest 
that was announced here last month. The competition asks:  

	In all the world, which public park 
	has the longest list of prohibitions?

Some of the best early entries are posted at 
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/park-rules/park-rules-top.html>.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-18	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Well-Heeled Medicos

Each month we select for your special attention a research report 
that seems especially worth a close read. 
This month's selection:

"A History of Medical Scientists on High Heels," M. Linder and 
C.L. Saltzman, International Journal of Health Services, vol. 28, 
no. 2, 1998, pp. 201-25. (Thanks to Julia Yamashita  for bringing 
this to our attention.) 


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-19	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Steps, Salutes, Torture, Lines

Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the 
library.

STEPS MUST BE TAKEN
"Strategies for the Avoidance of Faeces by Grazing Sheep," Jane 
Cooper, Iain J. Gordon, and Alan W. Pike, Applied Animal Behaviour 
Science, vol. 69, no. 1, August 1,2000, pp. 15-33. (Thanks to Wang 
Zhong for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are at 
Macaulay Land Use Research Institute, Aberdeen, Scotland, and at 
the University of Aberdeen.

SALUTARY ADAPTATION
"Is Military Incompetence Adaptive?" Richard Wrangham, Evolution 
and Human Behavior, vol. 20, no. 1,  1999, pp. 3-18. (Thanks to 
Talia Durban for bringing this to our attention.)

TORTURE CHAMBER
"Control and Attention During Exposure Influence Arousal and Fear 
Among Insect Phobics," F.D. McGlynn, M.P. Rose, and A. Lazarte, 
Behavior Modification, vol. 18, no. 4, October 1994. Pp. 371-88. 
The authors, who are at Auburn University, describe their work:
	Heart beats, skin conductance, and subjective fear levels
	were recorded among eight pairs of DSM-III-R spider-phobic
	subjects (Experiment 1) and among eight pairs of
	DSM-III-R cockroach-phobic subjects (Experiment 2)
	who were exposed simultaneously to an approaching
	specimen during eight 4-minute trials.

BETWEEN THE LINES
"Marginalia: Readers Writing in Books," H.J. Jackson, 2001, Yale 
University Press, New Haven. (Thanks to T.L. Bose for bringing 
this to our attention.)

For additional, quite extensive lists of citations, subscribe to 
the magazine.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2001-04-20	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION				APR 20, 2001
1:30 pm. For NSF staff and guests.
INFO: Mary Hanson/Kate Hofherr <klatta@nsf.gov> 703-292-8070

JORDAN RICH SHOW, WBZ-RADIO BOSTON			MAY 4, 2001
Midnight. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will be the guest.

NEW YORK CITY					JUNE 7, 2001
LOCATION TBA.
Society of Applied Spectroscopy and the  American Chemical Society 
special joint event. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will describe and 
demonstrate the latest findings in improbable research and the Ig 
Nobel Prizes. Details TBA.
INFO: Gary Ritchie <Gary.Ritchie@pharma.com>

11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY		THURS, OCT 4, 2001
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University

IG INFORMAL LECTURES					TBA

SPECIAL AIR SESSION 
at AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, BOSTON			FEB 2002


-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-21	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
USA			1 yr/$24.95		2 yrs/$44.95
Canada/Mexico	1 yr/$28.95 US 	2 yrs/$49.95 US
Overseas		1 yr/$41.95 US 	2 yrs/$71.95 US
................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-22	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2001-04-23	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-04-24	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
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To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
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