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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-05
May, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================

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2001-05-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-05-01	Table of Contents
2001-05-02	mini-Housekeeping
2001-05-03	What's New in the Magazine
2001-05-04	Technology Transfer
2001-05-05	A Chemical Punch
2001-05-06	Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder
2001-05-07	The Science of G. Bush, Enhanced
2001-05-08	M.M.M. -- The Mystery Continues
2001-05-09	About Last Month's Coded Message
2001-05-10	Jarring Search
2001-05-11	CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Murray, Hair, and Harold Dowd
2001-05-12	Exceeding The Joneses
2001-05-13	Water For Pinheads Challenge
2001-05-14	Oil on Water
2001-05-15	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Ought Not Snog Dog
2001-05-16	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Tap, Cluck, Line, Shrinks
2001-05-17	AIRhead Events
2001-05-18	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-05-19	Our Address (*)
2001-05-20	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-05-21	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-02	mini-Housekeeping

There will be an AIR show in New York City on Thursday, June 7. 
Sponsored by an unusual agglomeration of spectroscopists and 
science writers, it is free to the public. Bring your friends.
See section 2001-05-17 for details.
Please spread the word.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-03	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:3 (May/June 2001) is a special Physics issue. It will be 
emerging from the printers very soon now. If you subscribe to the 
magazine, here are some of some of the articles to prepare 
yourself for:

<> "Quantum Gravity Treatment of the Angel Density Problem," by 
Anders Sandberg. Modern physics tools yield a solution to the 
classical problem of how many pins can fit on the head of an 
angel.

<> "NOBEL THOUGHTS: Douglas Osheroff," by Marc Abrahams. The Nobel 
physics laureate reveals his experiences with and deepest beliefs 
about pizza.

<> "Still More on Beards," by Alice Shirrell Kaswell and Chana 
Lajcher. A further review of the research literature about beards 
and bearded individuals.

...and much, much more.

The cover and full table of contents will be posted any day now at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7> 

       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a monthly e-mail small supplement to the print magazine.)


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-04	Technology Transfer

We received a telephone call from a gentleman who wanted us to put 
him in touch with 1998 Ig Nobel Prize winner Troy Hurtubise. You 
will recall that Troy won his Prize for developing, and personally 
testing, a suit of armor that is impervious to grizzly bears. We 
asked the caller why he was looking for Troy. Here is the 
subsequent conversation:

CALLER: I am calling from the island of Martinique. I want to talk 
with Mr. Hurtubise to ask his advice.

AIR: About what?

CALLER: I am working on something similar to what he did.

AIR: There are grizzly bears on Martinique?

CALLER: Oh, no. no. I will use it for a different purpose -- for 
martial arts.

We gave him Troy's telephone number, chatted for a while, asked 
him to keep us apprised of his progress, and wished him luck. We 
will keep you informed of further developments, if any.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-05	A Chemical Punch

There has been a novel advance in the chemistry of propellants. 
Investigator Keith G. Tomazi reports:

"I just came across a novel rocket fuel, as reported on Page 1 of 
the Wall Street Journal (Tuesday, April 10, 2001):

	The New York City-based Fighters' Institute for Survival and
	Training, or FIST, helps boxers with life outside the ring.
	But the group...hopes to become a union for boxers....
	That pace sounds familar to Paul Johnson, a Minneapolis
	ex-boxer. He has tried to get the Boxer's Organizing 
	Committee off the ground for about 12 years....Still, 
	he believes that a union is imminent. "We've got the 
	rocket ship on the pad, we're pumping liquid nitrogen,
	and we're going to blast off," he says.

"This is one picket line that I wouldn't care to cross. Still, 
their chemistry seems unusual: I wonder if anybody else has 
proposed a non-flammable rocket fuel?"


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-06	Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder

The massive effort to map the human genome has gotten much 
attention -- perhaps much too much attention. This has created an 
Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder within the research community. 

As reported in the March 1, 2001 issue of the New York Times:

	To address the imbalance between the state of knowledge
	in genetics and the behavioral sciences, Dr. Jack
	Stenner, chief executive of MetaMetrics Inc. in
	Durham, N.C., proposes a Human Phenome Project --
	a concerted national effort to map the ways in which
	genetic and environmental factors interact to produce
	life's outcomes.

A remedy is at hand.

We are proud to announce the Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder 
essay contest. It is open to any social scientist who can write 
clearly and concisely. Entries must be no more than 35 (thirty-
five) words in length. The topic:

	Social Scientists are Fully as Able 
		to Categorize and Measure 
		the Things We Are Trying to Understand
	as Chemists, Physicists, and Biologists are Able
		to Categorize and Measure 
		the Things They Are Trying to Understand

Please send your entry to: Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder 
essay contest c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>

The winner will receive an autographed (by somebody) back issue of 
AIR.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-07	The Science of G. Bush, Enhanced

Thank you to the many readers sent us citations of scientific 
research reports authored or co-authored by G. Bush. We are still 
processing most of them, but have already added some of the most 
salient items to the list. You can see them at
<http://www.improbable.com/news/ongoing/bush-science.html>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-08	M.M.M. -- The Mystery Continues

What's the "M" for? Many have asked, yet still no one knows -- at 
least so far as we are aware. In last month's mini-AIR, 
investigator Rick Godin asked the plaintive question:

	"What does the M. in Professor Makhlouf M. Makhlouf's 
name represent? "

Investigator Godin was referring, of course to Professor Makhlouf 
M. Makhlouf <http://me.wpi.edu/Makhlouf.htm>, whose cyclic moniker 
had been mentioned here as an example of a name that is subject to 
possible moniker reversal.

If someone knows the answer to this difficult question, please get 
in touch with us.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-09	About Last Month's Coded Message

Last month's unbreakably coded message proved to be unbreakable. 
We have no idea what it said.


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-10	Jarring Search

Several years ago we saw reference to a book titled "Men Who Made 
Fruit-Jar History." We have tried, tried, tried, thus far 
unsuccessfully, unsuccessfully, unsuccessfully, to ascertain 
whether such a book does exist. If anyone has definite knowledge 
pertaning to our quest, please email <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------
2001-05-11	CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Murray, Hair, and Harold Dowd

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the 
web site, or by going to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

NOBEL THOUGHTS: Murray Gell-Mann
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6/v6i3/gell-mann-2000-06.html>

New Additions to the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE -- Clean My Diamonds... 
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/diamond.html>

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE -- Clean My Diamonds (Chapter 2)
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/diamond-chapt2.html>

MAY WE RECOMMEND -- Alcohol, Cigarettes and Coffee
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/substance-suicide.html>

Conversational Catalysts
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/conversation/catalysts.html>

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE-- Celebrity Nutritionist and Writer 
(Chapter 5)
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/celeb-nutri-5.html>

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE-- Celebrity Nutritionist and Writer 
(Chapter 6)
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/may/celeb-nutri-6.html>

MAY WE RECOMMEND -- Unpacking the Ethical Product
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/apr/ethical%20product.html>

Analysis of Dirty Pictures By-the-Numbers
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/may/digital-art.html>

MAY WE RECOMMEND -- Unpleasant Dogs (A Threesome)
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/may/unpleasant-dogs.html>

Optics Commission Prize Goes to Hell
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/may/prize-to-hell-6.html>

DOWD: Crime and Punishment-A Personal Meditation
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6/v6i3/crime-punish-2000-06.html>

THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-12	Exceeding The Joneses

Investigator Rich Younger has discovered a particularly stark 
variety of moniker multiplicity, a report co-authored by three 
Joneses:

	"Multimode Optical Fiber Sensors," G.R. Jones, R.E. Jones,
	and R. Jones, in "Optical Fiber Sensor Technology:
	Advanced Applications: Bragg Gratings and Distributed
	Sensors," edited by K.T.V. Grattan and B.T. Meggitt, 
	Klewer Academic, 2000.

What is the record for most Joneses? If you know of a citation 
that may have the greatest number (far exceeding three) of Jones 
as co-authors, please send it to JONES&JONES&JONES SURVEY co/ 
<marca@cham2.harvard.edu>


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-13	Water For Pinheads Challenge

Investigator Franco Toricelli poses a chemistry question that has 
classical roots:

	"How many water molecules can fit on the head of a pin?"

If you know the answer to Toricelli's question, please write it 
down on a piece of 5-inch-by-7-inch lined paper, and mail it to 
yourself. The winner will receive a piece of 5-inch-by-7-inch 
lined paper.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-14	Oil on Water

We had coffee this morning with the directors of a new scientific 
think tank named "Conservatives Against Conservation, Ltd." 
(CACL). The directors, now all in their fifties, are the same 
people who, when in their twenties, founded the organization 
"Liberals Against Liberation." Several years ago they denounced 
their first group, shut it down, and began work on CACL.

CACL has on its staff, we were told, crack scientists from more 
than 23,000 scientific disciplines. Its stated mission is "to 
promote the scientific conservation of thought." We agreed to help 
them launch some of their more worthwhile projects.

This month's CACL Scientific Project: OIL-BASED AQUIFERS.
The project demonstrates how oil can be used to protect 
agricultural fields during times of drought. The fields are 
sprayed with a thin layer of oil. The oil acts as a barrier that 
seals moisture into the fields. As the layer of oil evaporates, 
more oil is sprayed on to replenish the barrier layer and further 
protect the moisture that is in the ground.

If you have a large agricultural field, a desire to test the 
theory, and a checkbook, please get in touch with us and we will 
connect you with CACL.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-15	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Ought Not Snog Dog

Each month we select for your special attention a research report 
that seems especially worth a close read. This month's selection:

SNOG NOT
"Do Not Snog the Dog: Infective Endocarditis Due to Capnocytophaga 
canimorsus," D.L. Ngaage, K.N. Kotidis, J.A. Sandoe Unnikrishnan, 
and R. Nair, European Journal of Cardio-Thoracic Surgery, vol. 16, 
no. 3, 1999, pp. 362-3. (Thanks to Adrian Smith for bringing this 
to our attention.) The authors, who are at Leeds General Infirmary 
in West Yorkshire, UK, explain their findings thusly:

	We present a case of prosthetic valve endocarditis and 
	paravalvular abscess caused by the canine bacteria 
	Capnocytophaga canimorsus in a 63-year-old man, who made
	a habit of snogging his pet dog. Capnocytophaga canimorsus
	can cause culture-negative endocarditis, therefore a high
	level of clinical awareness and the appropriate isolation
	techniques are important for making the diagnosis. 
	Antibiotic therapy and properly timed excision of the 
	infected focus are recommended.


----------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-16	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Tap, Cluck, Line, Shrinks

Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the 
library.

STEPWISE ANALYSIS
"The Energy Requirement of Selected Tap Dance Routines," R.M. 
Noble and E.T. Howley, Research Quarterly, vol. 50, no. 3, October 
1979, pp. 438-42. (Thanks to Beatrice Morel for bringing this to 
our attention.)

WHAT DOTH MAKE THE HEN TICK
"Some Investigations Into Motivation in the Domestic Fowl," I.J.H. 
Duncan and V.G. Kite, Applied Animal Behavior Science, vol. 18, 
1987, pp. 387-8. (Thanks to Brianna Davies for bringing this to 
our attention.)

THE STRAIGHT LIFE
"Linear Programming Brings Marital Bliss," John H. Vande Vate, 
Operations Research Letters, vol. 8, 1989, pp. 147-53. (Thanks to 
David Molnar for bringing this to our attention.)

PATIENT SAMPLER
"A Memorable Patient -- The Man Who Had 42 Psychiatrists (and 
Rising)," Derek Summerfield, British Medical Journal, vol. 322, 
April 28, 2001, p. 1026. (Thanks to Naur E. Pella for bringing 
this to our attention.)

For additional, more extensive lists of citations, subscribe to 
the magazine.


------------------------------------------------------------ 
2001-05-17	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.


HUNTER COLLEGE, NEW YORK CITY		THURS, JUNE 7, 2001
6:00 PM
Room 1403 (Fourteenth Floor, North Building)
69th Street Entrance (between Park Avenue and Lexington Avenue)
AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS and other AIRheads will describe and 
demonstrate the latest findings in improbable research. and the Ig 
Nobel Prizes. This event is sponsored jointly by the NY/NJ section 
of the Society of Applied Spectroscopy and by the American 
Chemical Society, and by the Science Writers of New York (SWINY)
 [NOTE: 
 Afterwards, there will be a dinner at a neighborhood restaurant.
 The dinner, unlike the talk, will not be free.
 For dinner (cost $20.00) reservations, please call or email: 
 Prof. David Locke 718-997-3271  <dlocke@gc.cuny.edu> or 
 Ewa Bucher at <Ewa.Bucher@ipaper.com> or 1-914 577-7303  or 
 Gary Ritchie at <Gary.Ritchie@pharma.com> or 1-914-709-2634.]

11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY		THURS, OCT 4, 2001
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University

IG INFORMAL LECTURES					TBA

SPECIAL AIR SESSION 
at AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, BOSTON			FEB 2002


-------------------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-18	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
USA			1 yr/$24.95		2 yrs/$44.95
Canada/Mexico	1 yr/$28.95 US 	2 yrs/$49.95 US
Overseas		1 yr/$41.95 US 	2 yrs/$71.95 US
................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-19	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)	 
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


--------------------------- 
2001-05-20	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki
Rohloff
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


----------------------------------------------------- 
2001-05-21	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
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