PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2001-07 July, 2001 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2001-07-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2001-07-01 Table of Contents 2001-07-02 mini-Housekeeping 2001-07-03 What's New in the Magazine 2001-07-04 Math Controversy 2001-07-05 Mum on an STD 2001-07-06 Ig 1 -- Wedding Announcement 2001-07-07 Ig 2 -- Slides to Glory 2001-07-07-A Ig 2.5 -- Live Video? 2001-07-08 Project Over-Specificity 2001-07-09 Telemarketing Optimized 2001-07-10 More Than Enough Genug 2001-07-11 Moniker Supersymmetry 2001-07-12 Psycho Logical Findings (1) - Violence 2001-07-13 Psycho Logical Findings (2) - Tests 2001-07-14 Snog Help 2001-07-15 Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder Winners 2001-07-16 Decoding Triumph 2001-07-17 Hair Club Growth 2001-07-16 CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Stimulating Boredom, etc. 2001-07-19 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Weather to Play the Stock Market 2001-07-20 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Can Tell, Can Do, Semi-tablets 2001-07-21 AIRhead Events 2001-07-22 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2001-07-23 Our Address (*) 2001-07-24 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2001-07-25 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-02 mini-Housekeeping Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony tickets go on sale August 9, from the Harvard Box Office (telephone: 617-496-2222). Details are at Members of the wedding party (see section 2001-07-06 below) should get in touch with the bride and/or groom RIGHT AWAY for special ticket arrangements). ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR 7:4 (July/August 2001) is a special BEHAVIOR ISSUE. It will be emerging from the printers in late July. Here are some of the highlights: <> "Free Stuff Experiment," by Jeff Van Bueren. A test project consisted of putting a sequence of items labeled "free" out on the sidewalk and seeing what was carted away and in how much time. <> "Oxidative Stress and the Third Reich," Patrique Roonquel. The author explains how oxidative stress and its consequent cell damage (depletion of phospholipids, etc.) was responsible for the joint stiffening that can be seen in photographs of German soldiers marching during World War II. <> "If Scientists Worked as Waiters and Waitresses," By Lloyd Fricker. The author explores the behavioral effects of having struggling scientists -- rather than struggling actors, artists, and musicians -- take jobs as waiters and waitresses. <> "A Plea for Nostril Research," by Melvin Landry. The author requests assistance in exploring nostrils. The article is also on- line at ...and much, much more. The full table of contents (and several of the articles) will be at (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR, a small, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-04 Math Controversy A celebrated mathematics professor of our acquaintance asks for help with the following dilemma: A woman called the math department earlier this year. Her son is in first grade. The first grade teacher said her son was counting wrong. How is 101 pronounced -- "one hundred one" or "one hundred and one"? The teacher told the woman to call any mathematician to find out the proper way to say it. I don't know the answer ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-05 Mum on an STD "STD" stands for "Sexually Transmitted Disease" or "Short Term Disability," depending on context. This ambiguity is reflected in the medical literature, where one finds report titles such as this one: "STDs Aren't Sexy: Health Professionals' Lack of Adherence to Clinical Guidelines in an Area of High STD Endemicity," D.B. Mak and C.D. Holman, Journal of Public Health Medicine, vol. 22, no. 4, December 2000, pp. 540-5. Investigator B. Mango has compiled a partial list of American institutions that classify pregnancy as an STD: STANFORD UNIVERSITY UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA DAVIDSON COLLEGE PRESBYTERY OF KISKIMINETAS UNIVERSITY OF SCRANTON UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-06 Ig 1 -- Wedding Announcement We are pleased to announce that two scientists will get married during this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Lisa Danielson and Will Stefanov answered the notice that appeared in last month's mini-AIR. Lisa and Will are geologists, both based at Arizona State University. They will be journeying to Harvard to be married on stage at Sanders Theatre on October 4. For wedding details, see CALLING ALL FORMER BRIDESMAIDS: Would you would like to donate/get rid of your no-longer-wanted bridesmaid's dress(es) for use in the Ig Nobel mini-opera and the wedding ceremony? If you have a bridesmaid's dress to contribute, please get in touch with Peaco Todd, the Ig Nobel wedding coordinator, at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-07 Ig 2 -- Slides to Glory If you have been to an Ig Nobel Ceremony or watched one on the Internet, you have seen one of the Ig's most curious, beloved, and hard-to-describe aspects, known humbly as "the slide show." The slide show is projected above the stage during the entire ceremony. It is both (a) an integral part of the Ig ceremony and (b) its own universe. The slide show gangsters (J. Connor and A. Palmer) are looking for a good collaborator to join them in devising, constructing, and performing this year's slide extravaganza. If that someone might be you, please get in touch with Ig Slide Chief-Ganglion Jon Connor at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-07-A Ig 2.5 -- Live Video? Video of the entire ceremony will be archived on the net, thanks to generous assistance from our friends at and . It should be available (approximately) the day after the ceremony. It's not clear whether there will be a live Internet telecast this year. The entire Ig ceremony, as always, is being run on a colorful shoestring. If your organization would like to help sponsor a live broadcast or the ceremony itself, please get in touch with ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-08 Project Over-Specificity We invite you to participate in "Project Over-Specificity." We are collecting citations of research articles with titles that are (to all appearances) much more specific than they need be. Please send complete citations to PROJECT OVER-SPECIFICITY c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-09 Telemarketing Optimized Many and various were the contributions to the Telemarketing Optimization Project. The project, announced last month, is designed to convert annoying phone calls from telemarketers into useful research opportunities. The entries have been culled, groomed, lost, found, and categorized. You can see the result at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-10 More Than Enough Genug Here are two provocative responses to last month's posing of the so-called "genug-genug" (or "when is enough enough?") question: Has there ever been a paper that ended with something like the following line: "We have answered this question; no more research is necessary." From investigator Graham de Vahl Davis: Apparently, it won't happen. See the 1984 California Supreme Court decision in "The People vs. Eddie Bobby McDonald, which is on the web at . It states: As the present case makes plain, appellate judges do not have the luxury of waiting until their colleagues in the sciences unanimously agree that on a particular issue no more research is necessary. Given the nature of the scientific endeavor, that day may never come. From investigator Timothy Collins: Isn't Sherlock Holmes' monograph on "The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus" always regarded as "the last word on the subject"? ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-11 Moniker Supersymmetry With the discovery of Shalaby W. Shalaby (who used to work at Johnson and Johnson) and other highly name-reversible scientists, some feel that the "Moniker Reversal" search [see previous issues of mini-AIR for details] has reached its semi-logical conclusion. Now come a higher challenge. Investigator Rick Godin writes: I believe that the time has come to undertake the greatest challenge in moniker reversal history. Is there a scientist whose full name is a palindrome? If you know of such a scientist, please send her or his name, along with at least skimpy biographical details, to: MONIKER PALINDROME PROJECT c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-12 Psycho Logical Findings (1) - Violence The July/August 2001 1 issue (vol. 32, no. 7) of Monitor on Psychology, the official magazine of the American Psychological Association, brings presumably happy news of an imminent psycho technological breakthrough. Here is an excerpt from the article: IDENTIFYING THE RISK FOR VIOLENCE THROUGH E-MAIL Eric Shaw, PhD, a former psychologist with the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, is working with Stroz Associates in New York to develop software that can detect anger and mood changes. According to Shaw, the software works by detecting negativity in sets of phrases and words in employees' e-mails. The software tracks content and the number of negatives compared with other e-mails, as well as key words like "kill," "fire" or "bomb." "All the computer does is track numbers," says Shaw. Companies can set up acceptable tracking thresholds.... As described in the article, this is a splendid example of how psychology -- in the hands of the properly chosen few -- can affect everybody's everyday lives in ways undreamt of by anyone's philosophers. The complete report is on-line at ----------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-13 Psycho Logical Findings (2) - Tests The same issue of Monitor on Psychology also brings news for those who -- mistakenly, we now know -- believe that clinical psychologists tackle the most complex, most difficult of human problems. The report explains that psychological conditions are no more difficult to define -- and accordingly no more difficult to measure -- and accordingly no more difficult to bill for -- than are anatomical/physiological conditions. The article begins: PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENTS SHOWN TO BE AS VALID AS MEDICAL TESTS A recent report indicates that psychological assessments are just as predictive of specific, measurable outcomes -- sometimes even more predictive -- as many medical tests.... The full report (on pages 46-7 of The Monitor) includes a nice three-color chart that gives interestingly chosen, interestingly worded specifics (the chart is only in the printed magazine, not on-line). The report will, or at least should, provide meat for essayists for years to come. The complete report is on-line at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-14 Snog Help Investigator Agnes Tomorrow (who is British) sent in the most concise (of several dozen we received) helpful answers to the inquiry by investigator D. Lichtblau (who is American): If you haven't already been deluged by explanations of "snogging:" it's more like necking, perhaps with extra helpings of affection -- it's probably best performed on a couch, although any venue can be a site for snoggage. It may (or may not) be derived from snuggling. It's nice. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-15 Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder Winners Your votes produced a tie, and thus there are joint winners, in the Attention Deficit Pecking Disorder 35-or-fewer-words essay contest (see June and July mini-AIRs for details). Here are the winning essays: My son shines amongst somewhat duller bodies. The sun shines amongst somewhat duller bodies. If you cut me do I not bleed? A measuring stick can be used for beatings. --Paul Williams First, measure the length of your index finger. Next, decide on a finger you prefer to use to scratch your nose. Repeat the experiment every day, for a week. The first, natural science. The second, social science. --Jamus Jerome Lim Congratulations to ADPD35OFWEC winners Williams and Lim. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-16 Decoding Triumph Someone has decoded and put together the unbreakable, yet broken, coded message we presented two issues ago. Investigator Caleb Ronsen writes: "You claimed that last month's unbreakably coded message proved to be unbreakable. This tweaked my interest, and instead of doing my actual job, I spent time examining it: 77777 7 777777 77 7 77777777 777777777 777777 777777777777777777777777777777777777 777777 77777777777 77 777777 777777 7777777777777. "I could not believe that this puzzle escaped my attention when I first read it. How childishly simple it is. Why, I've even seen it on the TV show "Wheel of Fortune." The answer is, of course: MOURN A FRIEND BY A MISTAKE, ABANDONED WITHIN PSEUDO-ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM IDEALS COMPLICATED BY CRAZY, POLISH AEROMECHANICS. "This angry, if not poetic, verse is teeming with racial hostility and long words. I, of course, cannot reveal my methods of decryption but I can assure you and your readers that I am not using them for the power of evil." [EDITOR'S NOTE: As a reward for his intellectual achievement, investigator Ronsen and the library of his choice will each receive a free Surprise Pack of back issues of the splendid magazine "Annals of Improbable Research," in hopes that they will actually subscribe to it.] ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-17 Hair Club Growth The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists has several more new members. You can see them at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-16 CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Stimulating Boredom, etc. Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. You can get to all of them by clicking on "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or by going to: ==> Stimulating Boredom ==> What Are They Doing? http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/doing.htm ==> Pizza Interview with Nobellian Douglas Osheroff ==> More of the Science of G. Bush ==> How Valuable was Einstein? ==> Spaghetti Innovations ==> Three Cheers for Toilet Paper (and a fourth, too) THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-19 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Weather to Play the Stock Market Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. This month's selection: "Good Day Sunshine: Stock Returns and the Weather," David Hirshleifer and Tyler Shumway, March, 2001. The authors are at Ohio State University and the University of Michigan, respectively. They explain that: Psychological evidence and casual intuition predict that sunny weather is associated with upbeat mood. This paper examines the relation between morning sunshine at a country's leading stock exchange and market index stock returns that day at 26 stock exchanges internationally from 1982-97. Sunshine is strongly positively correlated with daily stock returns. After controlling for sunshine, other weather conditions such as rain and snow are unrelated to returns. If transactions costs are assumed to be minor, it is possible to trade profitably on the weather. These results are difficult to reconcile with fully rational price-setting. The full report is published on-line at ----------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-20 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Can Tell, Can Do, Semi-tablets Here is a further selection of items that merit a trip to the library. TELLING LOOKS "People Don't Keep Their Heads Still When Looking to One Side, and Other People Can Tell," Martin J Doherty and James R Anderson, Perception, vol. 30, no. 6, 2001, pp. 765-7. The authors are at the University of Stirling, Scotland. (Thanks to G.K. Perez for bringing this to our attention.) FOUL PONDERINGS "Why Do Some Owners Allow Their Dogs to Foul the Pavement? The Social Psychology of a Minor Rule Infraction," Paul Webley and Claire Siviter, Journal of Applied Social Psychology, vol. 230, no. 7, July 2000, p. 1371 ff. (Thanks to Denise Talman for bringing this to our attention.) FOR EXPERTS "Breaking Tablets in Half," M. Stimpel, B. Kuffer, H. Groth, and W. Vetter, The Lancet, vol. 8389, no. 1, June 1984, p. 1299. (Thanks to Todd Blake for bringing this to our attention.) For additional, more extensive lists of citations, subscribe to (or borrow a copy of) the magazine. ------------------------------------------------------------ 2001-07-21 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. CORNELL UNIVERSITY THURS, SEPT 20, 2001 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will describe and demonstrate the latest findings in improbable research and the Ig Nobel Prizes, as after- dinner speaker at the Cornell Nanofabrication Facility's annual meeting. The talk is open to the public. INFO: Sandip Tiwari (607)255-2329 (x101) 11th FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY THURS, OCT 4, 2001 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University TICKETS will go in sale in August. IG INFORMAL LECTURES SAT, OCT 6, 2001 MIT. Exact location and time TBA SPECIAL AIR SESSION - American Assn. for Advcmnt. of Science at AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, BOSTON FRI EVENING, FEB 15, 2002 -------------------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-22 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading here in mini-AIR). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$24.95 2 yrs/$44.95 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$28.95 US 2 yrs/$49.95 US Overseas 1 yr/$41.95 US 2 yrs/$71.95 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-23 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2001-07-24 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, Craig Haggart, Nicki Rohloff MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2001-07-25 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================