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mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2001-12
December, 2001
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
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2001-12-01	TABLE OF CONTENTS

2001-12-01	Table of Contents
2001-12-02	What's New in the Magazine
2001-12-03	Covering by Uncovering
2001-12-04	TWMARTWD: Tchernyshyov on Frustration
2001-12-05	Stalin World: UPDATE
2001-12-06	Troy and the Bear: UPDATE
2001-12-07	Hagelin and the Yogic Flying Peace Squad: UPDATE
2001-12-08	Ultra Super Precision
2001-12-09	A Question of Stupidity
2001-12-10	Holiday Scientific Research
2001-12-11	Holiday Gifts (for the Science-Minded)
2001-12-12	Holiday Gift (for the hairy)
2001-12-13	CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Feline Reaction, Cosmic Finger
2001-12-14	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: The Death of Politics
2001-12-15	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Vegetation, Romance, and Teeth
2001-12-16	AIRhead Events
2001-12-17	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2001-12-18	Our Address (*)
2001-12-19	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2001-12-20	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

	Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

	mini-AIR is
	a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine


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2001-12-02	What's New in the Magazine

AIR 7:6 (Nov/Dec 2001) is a special HOLY GRAIL ISSUE. Here are 
some further highlights:

<> "The Double-Slit Garage Experiment" by R.R. Bukrey. The classic 
physics experiment has now been performed on a macro scale, at the 
entrance to the parking garage at Loyola University of Chicago. 
The article, with a photo, is on-line at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i6/doubleslit.html>

<> "Der Hecht," by Christian Morgenstern, translated by Jerry 
Lettvin. Among non-German speakers, the poetic linguist/humorist 
Christian Morgenstern (1871-1914) is far less known (1832-1898) 
than Lewis Carroll, with whom Morgenstern has often been compared. 
Of the few who have seriously hazarded translating Morgenstern's 
poems from German into other languages, perhaps the most 
successful is Jerry Lettvin. Here we present the first of our 
series of Lettvin translations of Morgenstern poems.

<> "The Second-Hand Effects of Bitching," Murray J. Munro. The 
author conducted the first experiments to determine the second-
hand effects of a noxious -- and largely unregulated -- 
environmental pollutant. This article will be posted on the AIR 
web site later this month.

<> "ASK SYMMETRA: The Speed of Love," by Scientist/supermodel 
Symmetra. AIR's advice columnist elucidates the dynamics of one of 
nature's fundamental forces.

<> "AIRhead Medical Review." Our regular column this time includes 
citations of medical research on a punch injury involving a dental 
crown, the construction of the modern ovary, music during 
gastroscopy, and more. This issue's column is on-line at 
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i6/medical-review-7-6.html>

These and many other articles appear in the magazine. Several of 
them will be posted on the AIR web site during the coming weeks. 
The full table of contents is at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume7/v7i6/v7i6-toc.html> 


       (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR,
        a small, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.)


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2001-12-03	Covering by Uncovering

The Annals of Improbable Research has reluctantly agreed, as so 
many times in the past, to become a pioneer of science journalism. 
With this issue of our monthly newsletter, mini-AIR, we become the 
first journalistic organization to cover science news in the nude. 

We feel compelled to do this, for the public good. Here's why.

A press organization called www.NakedNews.com now presents general 
news reports in the nude. A group called 
www.marketwrapunwrapped.com presents financial news reports in the 
nude. News about science is notably absent from both 
presentations. 

Science news is too important to be covered up. Other science 
journals have declined to take up the torch and remove their 
clothing. 

Therefore, beginning here and now, all issues of mini-AIR will be 
presented in the nude.

We are now unbuttoning our shirt...


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2001-12-04	TWMARTWD: Tchernyshyov on Frustration

Here is this month's edition of "TWMARTWD," the letters of which 
stand for "Talks We Missed and Regret That We Did." Thanks to 
investigators Lenny Foner and Margaret O'Meara for bringing it to 
our attention:

This month's featured TWMARTWD talk is:

	THE WORLD'S MOST FRUSTRATED MAGNET
	by Oleg Tchernyshyov
	Princeton University
	Wednesday, October 10, 2001
	MIT Room 12-132
	4:00 P.M. - Tea & Cookies
	4:15 P.M. - Seminar

If you know of an outstanding talk that we missed, please send 
relevant details to:
	TALKS WE MISSED c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>

...We are now removing our belt...


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2001-12-05	Stalin World: UPDATE

Vilumas Malinauskus, winner of the 2001 Ig Nobel Peace Prize for 
creating the amusement park popularly known as "Stalin World,"  
writes to tell us that Stalin World has a new web site. You can 
explore its delights at:
<http://www.travel-lithuania.com/grutas/>


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2001-12-06	Troy and the Bear: UPDATE

There is big news from Troy Hurtubise, winner of the 1998 Ig Nobel 
Safety Engineering Prize for developing and personally testing a 
suit of armor that is impervious to grizzly bears. Troy has 
announced that on December 9 he will don his suit of armor and 
undergo a "controlled attack" from a ten-foot-tall Kodiak bear.

Details are at 
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/nov/troy-bear.html>

Further press accounts (to which we will add as events unfold) are 
at <http://www.improbable.com/airchives/press/press-top.html>

We at the Annals of Improbable Research wish Troy all the success 
in the world, and then some. 

...We are now removing our shoes....


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2001-12-07	Hagelin and the Yogic Flying Peace Squad: UPDATE

There is ambitious news -- about war and peace in Afghanistan -- 
from John Hagelin, winner of the 1994 Ig Nobel Peace Prize for his 
experimental conclusion that 4,000 trained meditators caused an 18 
percent decrease in violent crime in Washington, D.C.

Several weeks ago, Hagelin held a news conference in Washington 
D.C. in which he announced his desire to raise $1,000,000,000, the 
interest from which will fund a squad of 40,000 trained yogic 
flyers. "The 40,000 Yogic Flyers would act like a giant radio 
transmitter," thus constituting a "Vedic Defense Shield" for the 
prevention of war. Hagelin's collaborators include the Maharishi 
Mahesh Yogi and Indian Major General Kulwant Singh.

Further details can be gleaned from Hagelin's web site 
<http://www.hagelin.org/press_conference/summary.html>,
Including a video webcast of the press conference at
<http://www.hagelin.org/press_conference/webcast.html>

Hagelin ran for president of the United States in each of the last 
two elections. We are told that he was not elected.


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2001-12-08	Ultra Super Precision

Scientific results are growing ever more precise, suggests 
investigator Mark Pack. He writes:

   I am impressed by one of the research reports you cited in
   the November mini-AIR. Here is the passage that caught my eye:

        In this study, the author reports the analysis of 
        10 randomly collected U.S. $1 bills.... Results showed 
        that 92% of the bills were positive for cocaine...

   Nine bills positive and one a bit ambivalent perhaps? 
   But 92% sounds far more impressive, correct, scientific
   and undoubtedly valid than a mere multiple of 10. Hurrah!

Investigator Gregg Horan, a specialist in such matters, zeroed in 
(with a high degree of precision) on a relevant question:

   I find myself wondering if 92% of 10 bills was 
   calculated on a mass, volume, or surface area basis.
   I'm hoping it was mass.

Other investigators were and presumably are, poring over the 
matter. (We heard from a good many of them.)

We would enjoy learning about other exceedingly precise scientific 
calculations as reported in the scientific literature. If you know 
of one, please send pertinent info to:

	PROJECT ULTRA SUPER PRECISION c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>

...We are now taking off our socks...


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2001-12-09	A Question of Stupidity

Investigator Trevor Macduff writes:

   I was wondering about the research you have posted 
   about stupidity
   <http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/oct/stupidity.html> 
   All of the research was published in the 1970's. 
   Have people become smarter since then, hence no further
   research is necessary? Or have people become more stupid,
   hence no further research is possible? Just curious.

We invite anyone who knows of outstanding post-70s research on the 
topic of stupidity to send pertinent citations to us at
	STUPIDITY CITATIONS c/o <marca@chem2.harvard.edu>


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2001-12-10	Holiday Scientific Research

Science never takes a holiday, at least not for granted. During 
the next two weeks the AIR web site <http://www.improbable.com> 
will feature (among other things) three collections of holiday 
related scientific research. The first is now posted at
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/nov/ramadan.html>.

...We are now removing our shirt...


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2001-12-11	Holiday Gifts (for the Science-Minded)

This is the time of year when you are either expected or permitted 
to crave something inexpensive and really, really nice -- either 
as a gift FOR someone you care about or as a gift FROM someone who 
cares about you. 

What to crave? We have some suggestions.

FIRST: A subscription to the most improbable magazine in the world 
-- the Annals of Improbable Research. Details are below, and on 
the AIR web site at 
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/subscribe.html>

SECOND: Any of our favorite too-little-known books, videos, and 
CDs -- some quite old, some very new. There's a list at 
<http://www.improbable.com/bookstore/bookstore-top.html>
And watch for more items to appear over the next few weeks.


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2001-12-12	Holiday Gift (for the hairy)

If you have a scientific friend (or a scientific self) who has 
luxuriant, flowing hair, you can give her or him a simple, sublime 
gift: (free) membership in the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for 
Scientists.

==> And here is the most improbable part: Each new Club member is 
entitled to receive a free issue of the Annals of Improbable 
Research. All a new member has to do to request it from us. 

Membership info is at 
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>

...We are now stepping out of our pants....


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2001-12-13	CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: Feline Reaction, Cosmic Finger

Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the 
features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came 
out. See them by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

==> Feline Reactions to Bearded Men of Beard Type #55G
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/cat/feline-nov2001.html>

==>  "The Cosmic Finger of Friendship"
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2001/nov/friendship-finger.html>

==> The Space Child Returns!
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/mg35.htm>

==> Bureaucracy Haiku
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/bureaucracy/bureaucracy-review-v23n3.html>

==> Still more comely new Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club members
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>


      THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
      <http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>

...We are now taking off our hat....


-----------------------------------------------------------
2001-12-14	RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: The Death of Politics

Each month we select for your special attention a research report 
that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will 
enjoy being asked for a copy. This month's selection:

PICK OF THE MONTH:

"French Presidential Elections Can Kill," Alexandre Dorozynski, 
British Medical Journal, no. 321, November 3, 2001, p. 1021. The 
author reports that:

   The presidential amnesty for traffic violations was 
   authorised by the constitution in 1958 and is taken for 
   granted to the point that many parking and speeding tickets 
   are simply ignored for months preceding a presidential
   election. There is no comparable "tradition" elsewhere in
   Europe.  Usually, the amnesty applies to "minor" parking 
   and speeding violations that have not been dealt with by 
   the time of the election, and apparently drivers have
   determined empirically that this may include tickets 
   written from six months to a year before the election....
   Last year, 8078 people died as a result of traffic accidents
   in France -- twice as many as in the United Kingdom, which
   has about the same population and the same number of cars.

...We are now removing our underwear....


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2001-12-15	MAY WE RECOMMEND: Vegetation, Romance, and Teeth

SURPRISE EMERGENCE OF VEGETABLE MATTER
"Jejunal Perforation Caused by Vegetal Foreign Body" [article in 
Spanish], E. Collazo Chao, J. Garcia de Quesada, Revista Espanola 
de Enfermedades Digestivas, vol 83, no. 2, February 1993, pp. 137-
8.

SEX GAMES
"Worst-case Payoffs in Quantum Battle of Sexes Game," Ahmad Nawaz 
and A.H. Toor, Los Alamos E-print Server, quant-ph/0110096.
On-line at <http://arXiv.org/abs/quant-ph/0110096> (Thanks to Louw 
Feenstra  for bringing this to our attention.) 

THE PATH OF FATE
"Pathways to Organogenesis: from Coconut Crazed Teeth in Tonga to 
Salivary Glands in Space," M. Hoffman, New Zealand Dental Journal, 
vol. 94, no. 417, September 1998, pp. 117-8. The author is at the 
National Institute for Dental Research, Bethesda, Maryland. 
(Thanks to Ginger Taylor for bringing this to our attention.)

...We are now completely nude.


------------------------------------------------------------
2001-12-16	AIRhead Events

==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca@chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437

CORNELIA STREET CAFE, NEW YORK CITY		SUN, FEB 3, 2001
6 PM. 29 Cornelia Street (between Bleecker and W. 4th)
An evening of funny science organized by Nobel chemist ROALD 
HOFFMANN, with Scientific American columnist STEVE MIRSKY and AIR 
editor MARC ABRAHAMS.

NASW, MUSEUM OF SCIENCE, BOSTON		WED, FEB 13, 2002
Evening -- Special Ig Nobel presentation for members of the 
National Assn. of Science Writers

AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, BOSTON			FRI, FEB 15, 2002
Evening. Exact time and location TBA.
AIR's annual special session at the annual meeting of the
American Association for the Advancement of Science.
Details TBA.


--------------------------------------------------------------
2001-12-17	How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print 
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not 
just the little bits of overflow material you have been reading 
here in mini-AIR).
................................................................ 
Name: 
Address: 
Address: 
City and State:				
Zip or postal code: 
Country 
Phone:		FAX:			E-mail: 
................................................................ 
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): 	
USA			1 yr/$24.95		2 yrs/$44.95
Canada/Mexico	1 yr/$28.95 US 	2 yrs/$49.95 US
Overseas		1 yr/$41.95 US 	2 yrs/$71.95 US
................................................................ 
BACK ISSUES are available, too:  
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues 
purchased at same time: $6 each 
................................................................ 
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or 
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
	Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) 
	PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
	617-491-4437  FAX:617-661-0927  <air@improbable.com>


-----------------------------------------------------
2001-12-18	Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com 
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>


---------------------------
2001-12-19	Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever 
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the 
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR 
for commercial purposes.

	------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- 
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy@posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin 
(airmaster@improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest 
Ersatz, S. Drew
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon 
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

(c) copyright 2001, Annals of Improbable Research 


-----------------------------------------------------
2001-12-20	How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) 
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: 
	LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU 
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words 
	SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE 
(You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) 	
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