PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2002-05 May, 2002 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2002-05-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2002-05-01 Table of Contents 2002-05-02 Soon... 2002-05-03 What's New in the Magazine 2002-05-04 All About Craig 2002-05-05 A Little More About Craig 2002-05-06 Class Awareness Survey 2002-05-07 Pulp Beating Frenzy 2002-05-08 EDITORIAL: Unseemly Slugfest 2002-05-09 Some Deaths-By-Dissertation 2002-05-10 More Mellifluous Chemicals 2002-05-11 No Great Beard for Peter 2002-05-12 IG NEWS 1: Other Picks 2002-05-13 IG NEWS 2: Piggish Bible Code 2002-05-14 IG NEWS 3 and 4 and 5: Slides and Troy 2002-05-15 Further Obscurity (Journals) 2002-05-16 CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: 3rd Sex, Moonsheep, Zwaademaker 2002-05-17 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: More About Sword-Swallowing 2002-05-18 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Beer, Granny, Why Dentures 2002-05-19 AIRhead Events 2002-05-20 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2002-05-21 Our Address (*) 2002-05-22 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2002-05-23 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-02 Soon... Some of the AIRheads will be in London during the week of May 27. As of the moment, there are no AIR shows scheduled, but if one pops up we will post info in our events calendar: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR 8:3 (May/June 2002) will be the special NANO-FRIENDSHIP ISSUE. It will emerge from the printer a few weeks from now. Highlights include: <> "Increasing the Kissing Rate in the USA," by Maria Inês Varela Silva <> "The Cosmic Finger of Friendship," by Stephen Drew. <> PHOTOMICROGRAPH: "A Nano-Robin," by Nasir Hussain, Behrooz Nasseri, and A.T. Florence. <> PHOTOMICROGRAPH: "Nano-Porn: Assiduous Assessment of Proteins," by Daniël Blom and David Speijer <> "Tipping Points [the Science of Tipping in Restaurants]," by Stephen Drew and Alice Kaswell. ...and much, much more. (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR, a small, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-04 All About Craig You, the readers of mini-AIR, have been vindicated. 100% of the respondents to our June, 2000, survey concluded that J. Craig Venter was the individual whose genome was being sequenced by Celera. (Celera, of course, is a megagiganticompany founded by the aforementioned J. Craig Venter.) Now, two years later, Venter has announced that yes, indeed, he is that individual. Furthermore, he is writing a book about his personal genome. We hope that his publisher will include a genuine sample of investigator Venter's DNA with every copy of the book, perhaps in a seed packet so that enterprising young students can attempt to "grow their own" Craig Venters, or portions thereof. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-05 A Little More About Craig The New York Times reported on April 30 that J.C. Venter has started a new company that: will try to engineer microbes genetically to convert carbon dioxide into hydrogen, producing clean energy and averting greenhouse warming in the same step. We expect that this is either a typo or an otherwise erroneous report, but we do savor the ever-so-slight slight possibility that after shotgunning the human genome, J.C. Venter's next big project will be the transmutation of elements. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-06 Class Awareness Survey This month's Class Awareness Survey was suggested by investigator B. Mango, who writes: My high school sociology teacher told us once that intellectuals mess up class structure, because they usually have lower-class incomes, middle-class values, and upper-class taste. Is this supposition true or false? Please send your vote (TRUE or FALSE), accompanied, if you wish, by a comment of fewer than one word, to: CLASS AWARENESS SOCIOLOGY SURVEY c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-07 Pulp Beating Frenzy Ever since our mention last month of the British Standards Institution's standard BS 6094, "METHODS FOR LABORATORY BEATING OF PULP," we have been inundated with requests and good wishes from pulp beating fan clubs. We are sorry to say that we do not ourselves have a copy of standard BS 6094, and must request that any individual or group wishing to obtain one do so directly from the British Standards Institution. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-08 EDITORIAL: Unseemly Slugfest *********************************************** ** THE FOLLOWING IS AN AIR MINI-EDITORIAL ** *********************************************** We deplore the recent tendency for biological research journals to indulge in salacious accounts of sexual activity in slugs. The latest, and perhaps most egregious, example occurs on page 163 of the April 2002 issue of the hitherto respected journal Trends in Ecology and Evolution. (We -- and you -- must thank investigators B. Booth and S. Lev-Yadun for bringing it to our attention.) The headline alone is outrageous: "PENIS-BITING SLUGS: WILD CLAIMS AND CONFUSIONS." The article itself is much worse, especially the photo caption which reads: Fig. 1. Penis biting in slugs. After a double penetration mating, two banana slugs Ariolimax dolichophallus are taking turns gnawing off the one stuck penis. Whether sensationalized or not, this concerns private matters between presumably consenting individual slugs. Please let us accord them at least a minimal level of respect. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-09 Some Deaths-By-Dissertation PROJECT DEATH-BY-DISSERTATION did not produce any documented cases of people who were entirely killed by their dissertation -- certainly no such persons sent us firsthand reports -- but it did come up with some near-death experiences. Here are two. AN INVESTIGATOR KNOWN TO US WHOSE NAME WE DECIDED TO WITHHOLD: I was delivering a document which was going to be my master's thesis to the printer for making the official copies the university demanded when my car was crushed by a nefarious campus maintenance truck. I couldn't get the car door open but was able to open the window. Fearing I would be trapped in a burning car, I pitched the one original copy of the thesis as far out the window as possible, thinking "at least they'll have something to remember me by." I got out of the car, and I never did file that document as my thesis. INVESTIGATOR D. VAN DOMELEN (echoed by numerous others): During the course of writing my dissertation, I lost 30 pounds in 3 months for no visible reason (I ate the same, exercised the same, etc). Once I finished my dissertation and defended it, my weight loss stopped. Clearly, had the writing of my dissertation continued for another 26 months, I would have vanished into nothingness. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-10 More Mellifluous Chemicals Our search for the longest fully mellifluous chemical name continues to yield up sonorous monikers. Here are some. INVESTIGATOR E.J. TUCKER: I was delighted to read in MiniAIR that Isaac Asimov sang "para-dichloro-amino-benzaldehyde" to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman." Did you know that "hyper-lipo-proteinemia" goes to the tune of "Deutschland Uber Alles"? INVESTIGATOR J. CHALMERS: The chemical name quoted from Isaac Asimov is not correct; it should be para-dimethylaminobenzaldehyde, a.k.a. Erlich's indole reagent. Para-dimethylaminocinnamaldehyde may also be used for the same purpose, i.e., to detect indoles by the formation of colored products. INVESTIGATOR W. RIDGELY: I have a candidate for the most mellifluous chemical name. It has always been one of my favorites, and I'm sure it's a favorite of entomologists everywhere. The chemical is 2,2-dimethyl-3- isopropylidene cyclopropyl proprianate -- the sex pheromone of the female American cockroach. INVESTIGATOR F. NICE: 3,7-dihydro-6-[4-[2(N'-(5-fluoresceinyl)thioureido)ethoxy]phenyl]- 2-methylimadazol[1,2-alpha]pyradin-3-one (sodium salt), which is a chemiluminescence agent. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-11 No Great Beard for Peter Investigators continue to send in new explanations for Russian Tsar Peter the Great's decision in 1698 to impose a tax on beards. The most intriguing comes from INVESTIGATOR JOLIE BOOKSPAN: Tzar Peter was unable to grow a beard, so outlawed them. This incapacity was not uncommon among men of his lineage and genotype. (I have family from that area of the world, and a husband with similar physical characteristics of the Romanovs -- very tall, fair, muscular, beardless.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-12 IG NEWS 1: Other Picks 2001 Ig Nobel Public Health Prize winners Dr. Andrade and Dr. Srihari, who won their Ig for discovering that nose picking is a common activity among adolescents, included in their report an extensive review of the medical literature on nose picking. However, the medical literature includes a few additional cases of which Andrade and Srihari may not have been aware. Here are two. Y.Y. Mishriki's "A Recalcitrant Case of Reflexive Nose Picking. Trigeminal Trophic Syndrome" (Postgraduate Medicine, vol. 106, no. 3, September 1999, 175-6) is not easy reading, but will reward anyone patient enough to plumb its depths. Bennett, Woolford, and Lundall's "The Therapeutic Value of Medical Photography" (Journal of Audiovisual Media in Medicine, vol. 16, no. 4, October 1993, p. 173) gives a sensitive recounting of how photographs taken inside a woman's nose helped persuade her to stop picking her nose "where previous medication and psychotherapy had failed." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-13 IG NEWS 2: Piggish Bible Code There is further news, too, more or less, about the 1997 Ig Nobel Literature Prize, which went to Witztum, Rips Rosenberg, and Drosnin "for their hairsplitting statistical discovery that the Bible contains a secret, hidden code." INVESTIGATOR R. JOSEPHSON informs us that INVESTIGATOR EARL VICKERS has translated the entire Bible into a non-secret, non- hidden code: Pig Latin. Vickers's pig latin translation can be found at: For those interested in the subject, we also recommend the landmark report "Acquisition of Pig Latin: A Case Study," N. Cowan, Journal of Child Language, vol. 16, no. 2, June 1989, pp. 365-86. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-14 IG NEWS 3 and 4 and 5: Slides and Troy Two further bits of Ig-related news. FIRST: if you feel artistically or scientifically daring (and at least mildly skilled) enough to help create the Slide Show or other portions of the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony -- and if you are in the Boston area, please get in touch with us ASAP at or 617-491-4437. SECOND: We have just learned that 1998 Ig Nobel Prize winner Troy Hurtubise, inventor of the grizzly-bear-proof suit of armor, will likely be coming to this year's ceremony to demonstrate a new invention. We'll give you further details as we get them.... THIRD (or, if you are counting, fifth): If you want to nominate someone for an Ig Nobel Prize, please see the basic info at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-15 Further Obscurity (Journals) The past month has seen further turns and twists on the road to identifying the world's Most Obscure Journal. This joint research project of the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) and the Times Higher Education Supplement (THES) seeks to answer this question: "Which is the least-read academic journal?" The challenge proves ever-more subtle. Several readers proposed that journals which now exist only on audio tape are, by definition, "unread." For purposes of this investigation, we blindly reject that assertion. Here are some of the latest batch of obscure observations. INVESTIGATOR J. MAKIN: The journal that I edit, EDUCATION LIBRARIES JOURNAL, (ISSN 0957- 9575) is subscribed to by about 300 institutions' libraries in 30 countries around the world but I sometimes wonder whether anyone, apart from the writers of articles and reviewers, and those seeking an outlet for this esoteric piece of librarianship research or that possibly unique survey into library users' habits, ever reads it. INVESTIGATOR J. BELL: Journal of the Obscure Horror Cinema has a web site However, given that there were only four issues, it might just qualify. INVESTIGATOR D. SINGMASTER: I have a reference to an article in the Journal of the History of Dentistry, vol. 4, 1999. It seems to be little read, possibly even non-existent. [EDITOR'S NOTE: We managed to dig up an article online at about "Augusto Coelho e Souza: The Father of Brazilian Dentistry," about whom one can learn more by seeing this month's selection of "MAY WE RECOMMEND" items, below.] * * * If you think you know which journal is truly the least-read, please send its name to: OBSCURE JOURNAL SURVEY c/o Please include PITHY but persuasive EVIDENCE that the journal EXISTS and that its readership is triumphantly meager. If the journal has a web site, please include its URL. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-16 CAVALCADE OF HotAIR: 3rd Sex, Moonsheep, Zwaademaker Here are concise, incomplete, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See them by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> "The Third Sex." An article from the March/April 2002 issue of AIR. ==> Zwaadermaker (not Zwaardamaker) Conjugates ==> "Das Mondschaf / The Moonsheep," by Christian Morgenstern, English translation by Jerry Lettvin, with a drawing by Marian Parry. Also from the March/April issue of AIR. ==> "NOBEL THOUGHTS: Jerome Friedman." An interview, about sartorial splendor, with the 1990 Nobel Chemistry Laureate. ==> The Abortion Controversy. ==> "Public Believes Scientists." ==> "NOBEL THOUGHTS: Fred Robbins." An interview, about lunch, with the 1954 Nobel Medicine Laureate. THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-17 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: More About Sword-Swallowing Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked for a copy. Here is this month's Pick of the Month: DOWN THE TUBE "History of Esophagoscopy" [article in German], T. Brusis and H. Luckhaupt, Laryngorhinootologie, vol. 70, no. 2, February 1991, pp. 105-8. The authors explain that: "Since the middle of the 19th century very many experts have endeavoured to develop the oesophagoscopy following two different principles of oesophagus examination.... Various instruments were developed for this purpose which however not proved to be effective. Mostly angled or jointed tubes came into use which were stretched after insertion. More successful were those applying simple straight tubes. Except for Stoerk it was Kussmaul who had a sword-swallower swallow a tube instead of a sword." ----------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-18 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Beer, Granny, Why Dentures FIZZY MATH "Demonstration of the Exponential Decay Law Using Beer Froth," A. Leike, European Journal of Physics, vol. 23, January 2002, pp. 21- 26. THE PHYSICS OF GAZING INTO AN UNSTEADY BEER "The Movement of Bubbles in a Vibrating Liquid," Kh. Kh. Imomnazarov, Applied Mathematics Letters vol. 13, 2000, pp. 49-50. And the follow-up: "Errata to the Movement of Bubbles in a Vibrating Liquid," vol. 15, 2002, p. 257. (Thanks to Tom Roberts for bringing these to our attention.) The author is at the Institute of Computational Mathematics and Mathematical Geophysics, Siberian Branch, Russian Academy of Sciences, Novosibirsk. SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT SMELLING GRANNY "Does Smelling Granny Relieve Depressive Mood? Commentary on 'Rapid Mood Change and Human Odors,'" S. Black, Biological Psychology, vol. 55, 2001, 215-8. (Thanks to Anna Paprin for bringing this to our attention.) TRUE-LIFE ADVENTURE "Why and How I Became a Specialist in Double Dentures," Augusto Coelho e Souza, Brazil Odontolocico [Odontological Brazil], vol. 10, 1936. ------------------------------------------------------------ 2002-05-19 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 FOX-CHASE CANCER CENTER FRI, JUNE 7, 2002 Details TBA. SOCIETY OF AMATEUR SCIENTISTS, PHILADELPHIA SAT, JUN 29, 2002 Approx 2 pm. INFO: TWELFTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- THUR, OCT 3, 2002 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University IG INFORMAL LECTURES -- SAT, OCT 5, 2002 Massachusetts Institute of Technology AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, DENVER -- FEBRUARY, 2003 Special Annals of Improbable Research session at the Annual Meeting of the American Assn for the Advancement of Science. Featuring: * AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS * 2001 Ig Nobel Biology Prize winner BUCK WEIMER * 1994 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize co-winner RICHARD DART and others TBA -------------------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-20 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$24.95 2 yrs/$44.95 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$28.95 US 2 yrs/$49.95 US Overseas 1 yr/$41.95 US 2 yrs/$71.95 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-21 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2002-05-22 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2002, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2002-05-23 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================