PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2002-11 November, 2002 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2002-11-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2002-11-01 Table of Contents 2002-11-02 Soon... 2002-11-03 What's New in the Magazine 2002-11-04 Spy Density 2002-11-05 IG NOBEL UPDATE: The Further Art of Research 2002-11-06 The Value of Numbers 2002-11-07 The Anguish of Spaghetti 2002-11-08 Bleb Results 2002-11-09 Mutterings in Obscurity 2002-11-10 Pocket-Gopher-Lice Limerick Contest 2002-11-11 A Matter of Time 2002-11-12 Smellies 2002-11-13 Smell 2002-11-14 Sniff 2002-11-15 Memory and Teeth (1) 2002-11-16 Memory and Teeth (2) 2002-11-17 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Procrastination and MŸttering 2002-11-18 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Subatomic Approach to Cleanliness 2002-11-19 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Turkey and Not Toilet Seats 2002-11-20 AIRhead Events 2002-11-21 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2002-11-22 Our Address (*) 2002-11-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2002-11-24 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-02 Soon... On FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 29, the day after Thanksgiving, listen to the annual special Ig Nobel radio-and-Internet broadcast on NPR. For details, see Section 2002-11-20 below. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR 8:6 (November/December 2002) will be the special ART & SCIENCE ISSUE. It will be arriving from the printers in a few weeks. (What you are reading at this moment is mini-AIR, which is just a wee, small, monthly e-mail supplement to the print magazine.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-04 Spy Density We are trying to ascertain which city in the world has the highest density of spies. Here, for example, are data for the city of Belgrade. According to the 1991 census, there are 1,168,454 people in the city proper. The city has an area of 35,996 hectares. And according to a report done by Blic News, which is available in its entirety at , the city contains 4000 spies: 4000 FOREIGN SPIES IN BELGRADE At the beginning of 90s, Belgrade became European spy center. Collocutors of "Blic News" weekly estimate that our capital is full of foreign spies, who collect information for political and economic power centers using methods like bribes and blackmails... Simple calculations, then, show that the city of Belgrade has a density of approximately .0034 spies per inhabitant, and a density of .1111 spies per hectare. If you have equally complete and reliable data for other cities, please submit it to: Spy Density Survey c/o Please indicate the source of your data. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-05 IG NOBEL UPDATE: The Further Art of Research While some winners of the Ig Nobel Prize may rest on their laurels, others continue to work, work, work away at the frontiers of research. Here is yet another published example: "Van Gogh, Chagall and Pigeons: Picture Discrimination in Pigeons and Humans," Shigeru Watanabe, Animal Cognition, vol. 4, nos. 3- 4, 2001, pp. 147-151. The author, who shared the 1995 Ig Nobel Psychology Prize for co-authoring the landmark report "Pigeons' Discrimination of Paintings by Monet and Picasso" in the Journal of the Experimental Analysis of Behavior, extends his previous work. He describes his new research as follows: The author has previously reported that pigeons can discriminate paintings by different artists. Here, the author replicated the previous findings, carried out additional tests and compared discrimination by pigeons with that of 4 university students (aged 19-21 yrs). In Experiment 1, pigeons were trained to discriminate between paintings by Van Gogh and Chagall.... In Experiment 2, human subjects were tested with the same paintings. ... [The results] suggest that the visual cognitive function of pigeons is comparable to that of humans. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-06 The Value of Numbers Numbers may have intrinsic financial value, according to information sent us by INVESTIGATOR ARTHUR STOCK. He writes: Here is an article of great importance to scientists interested in a new source of revenue: copyright those numbers you work with, and earn royalties! (tip: numbers ending with 99 may be especially valuable) The article, which appeared in the January 31, 2000 issue of the National Law Journal, describes the calculating legal arguments advanced in the case of CDN Inc. v. Kapes, which appeared before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit. We would be interested to hear (A) whether the ramifications of the case have congealed into a stable state; and (B) the extent to which it has enriched the (perhaps) copyrightable numbers of scientists who generate copyrightable numbers; and (C) also the new method by which imaginary numbers get their value. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-07 The Anguish of Spaghetti Spaghetti is much on the mind of INVESTIGATOR ADRIANO MELIS, who writes: "I was really stunned upon reading this research report you describe at . "The researcher's statement that typical spaghetti take 30 seconds to cook is to me, a reasonably typical Italian specimen, simply astounding. "High quality spaghetti (like Barilla or Agnesi brands -- I bet they can be found in the U.S.), made with durum wheat semolina, take 10 to 12 minutes to cook in correctly salty boiling water at an average pressure of 1 atmosphere (101325 pa). Moreover, usually the longer the spaghetti takes to cook, the better is the quality of the spaghetti themselves. This statement is confirmed by every Italian Mom I have ever interviewed). I wonder what kind of 'typical spaghetti' talks about the author of the report!" ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-08 Bleb Results Here are the winners of the first and last annual BLEB LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report: "A Case of a 360 Degree Exuberant Trabeculectomy Bleb," J.D Rossiter, S.J. Godfrey, K.G. Claridge, Eye, vol. 13, part 3a, June 1999, pp. 369-70. The winner, who will receive a free non-Trabeculectomized copy of an issue of the Annals of Improbable Research, is the team of INVESTIGATORS HEATHER B. ZACKER AND DAVID C. HARLOW, who created this vision of light and clarity: I can study the tides as they ebb! Or a spider as she spins a web! So exub'rant am I Since the doc fixed my eye With a trabeculectomy bleb! Blebs, especially trabeculectomy blebs, are a subject of popular fascination. Here are but two of the nigh innumerable runners-up in the bleb limerick contest: INVESTIGATOR J. L. JONES: Now I'm back in my hospital bed My months of glaucoma have fled But since the incision I've 360 degree vision Like eyes in the back of my head. INVESTIGATOR D. MCKENNA: There once was a woman named Deb, Whose eyesight had started to ebb, "Marijuana aroma Didn't help my glaucoma So... Trabeculectomy bleb! Quasi-special thanks to Investigator Mihaly Tongus, whose limerick did not rhyme, but who alerted us to an informal interview entitled "When a Trabeculectomy Fails," with an eminence named Dr. Rick. The interview can be viewed by ye of adequate eyesight at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-09 Mutterings in Obscurity This month there is but scant, muttering progress to report on the search for the world's most outstandingly obscure journals. INVESTIGATOR JONATHAN ADAMS, who is Managing Director of the U.K.-based firm Evidence Ltd, reports: We were commissioned by the RAE Manager to carry out the validation of the RA2 publications database for the Research Assessment Exercise last year. Among the journals we were pleased to encounter during this work were <> Extremophiles <> Journal of Knot Theory and its Ramifications <> Inverse Problems The wonderfully titled "Mrs Bulletin" sadly seems to be the bulletin of the Materials Research Society. We also found the "Sloan Management Review", which sounded quite exciting but turned out to be linked to the business school of that name and not to be about problems of upper class girls in Chelsea. INVESTIGATOR JOHN CHALMERS reports: According to the late Ivor Darreg, The Journal of Calendar Reform would be a prime candidate for cancellation for lack of readership and/or boring content, but, alas, I've never seen it and Ivor is dead. [EDITOR'S NOTE: the journal ceased publication many decades ago, giving it an unfair leg up in the obscurity race.] ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-10 Pocket-Gopher-Lice Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual POCKET-GOPHER- LICE LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by Diana A. Rogers: "Comparative Body Size Relationships in Pocket Gophers and Their Chewing Lice," Serge Morand, Mark S. Hafner, Roderic D.M. Page, and David l. Reed, Biological Journal of the Linnean Society, vol. 70, no. 2, June 1, 2000, pp. 239-49. The authors, who are variously at the UniversitŽ de Perpignan, Louisiana State University, and the University of Glasgow, explain that: Our study of gopher hair-shaft diameter and louse head-groove dimensions suggest that there is a "lock-and-key" relationship between these two anatomical features. Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. The winning author will receive a free, almost completely chewable copy of an issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: POCKET-GOPHER-LICE LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-11 A Matter of Time The new book "The Ig Nobel Prizes" (published by Orion Books, London, ISBN 0752851500) has not yet been banned in Britain, which is the only place it is on sale. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-12 Smellies Smellies seldom get their due, is the complaint lodged by INVESTIGATOR T.G. SMELLIE, who grouses: "As a loyal subscriber to the magazine, I am disappointed that your Special Smelly Issue contained no mention of the fine work done by scientists with whom I have the honor of sharing a family name. In particular, I am shocked at the absence of Dr. G.D. Smellie, whose article on 'The Swallowed Safety Pin,' was the highlight of the March 1968 issue of the Journal of the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, and of Dr. J.H. Smellie, whose treatise on the subject of giant hogweed had a certain European vogue after its shocking appearance, that same year, in the July 13 issue of the British Medical Journal." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-13 Smell A similar sentiment echoed in the message from INVESTIGATOR PAOLO ROTA: "I am shocked that your Special Smelly Issue overlooked the work of R.M. Smell, whose classic 'Ribonucleic Acid Synthesis: Some Thoughts and Speculations' was published in the Biochemical Journal, volume 103, no. 3, June 1967. I once had the honor of eating in a cafeteria where R.M. Smell was also eating, and I shall never forget the experience." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-14 Sniff Not to be left out, apparently, was INVESTIGATOR JANICE WHEELOCK, whose plaint was plangent: "Your Special Smelly Issue made no mention of Dr. E.S. Sniff, co- author of the precedent-setting 'Chlamydia Infection Associated With Peritonitis in a Cat,' which was published to thunderous acclaim in the Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association in June, 1980. Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-15 Memory and Teeth (1) Memory and teeth are yet again linked in the news. The following report appeared in the November 5, 2002 issue of Nature Science Update: Kristy Nielson of Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin... revealed [her research findings] yesterday at the Society for Neuroscience meeting in Orlando, Florida. Nielson asked 32 people to memorize a list of words, such as fire, queen and butterfly. Half of them then watched a film of a full dental extraction, complete with blood and screeching drill. "It was nasty - it made you crawl," she says. 24 hours later, the traumatized subjects' word memory was around 10% better than that of those who'd sat through a dull video on tooth brushing. The full report is at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-16 Memory and Teeth (2) A different approach to what is either the same question or a very different one is evident in the following report: "Impairment of Spatial Memory and Changes in Astroglial Responsiveness Following Loss of Molar Teeth in Aged SAMP8 Mice," M. Onozuka, et al., Behavioural Brain Research, vol. 108, no. 2, March 2000, pp. 145-55. The authors present evidence that they believe is food for thought, or at least for chewing over, to advance their notion that mastication is vital to memory. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-17 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Procrastination and MŸttering Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> Holiday Procrastination Procrastination ==> Edison's Research on Gravity (video) ==> A New Book for Happy MŸttering ==> The Mystery of Kimi ==> New Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club Members THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-18 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Subatomic Approach to Cleanliness Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick of the Month: "Neutron Activation Analysis of Laundry Dryer Lint," J. Ene-Parent and L. Zikovsky, Journal of Radioanalytical and Nuclear Chemistry, vol. 247, no. 1, 2001, pp. 197-19. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-19 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Turkey and Not Toilet Seats ON ACID: TURKEY "A Note on the Amino Acid Composition of the Turkey," C. Fisher and R. Scougall, British Poultry Science, vol. 23, 1982, pp. 233- 7. (Thanks to Jean Dormand for bringing this to our attention.) MYSTERIOUS POINT "Transylvania: the Ball-Point Pen Connection," J.A. Nelson, Beginnings, vol. 16, no. 9, October 1996, p. 13. (Thanks to P. Vello for bringing this to our attention.) BARE PRAGMATISM "Don't Sit on the Toilet Seat," R.S. Joseph, Journal of Practical Nursing, vol. 42, no. 4, December 1992, pp. 4 12-3. (Thanks to Wim Crusio and Eve Lepicard for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2002-11-20 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO -- FRI, NOV. 29, 2002 Broadcast of specially edited highlights from this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, on NPR's "Talk of the Nation / Science Friday with Ira Flatow" program. Simulcast on the web at WWW.SCIENCEFRIDAY.COM (consult WWW.NPR.ORG for times and radio stations) COAST GUARD ACADEMY -- TUES, DEC. 3, 2002 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will present a public talk about Advances in Improbable Research. NHK TELEVISION -- TUES, DEC. 24, 2002 Special Ig Nobel program prepared by, and broadcast on, the Japanese public television network. AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, DENVER -- FEBRUARY, 2003 Special Annals of Improbable Research session at the Annual Meeting of the American Assn for the Advancement of Science. Featuring: * AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS * 2001 Ig Nobel Biology Prize winner BUCK WEIMER * 1994 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize co-winner RICHARD DART and others TBA MICHIGAN TECH, HOUGHTON, MI -- MON, APRIL 8, 2003 8:00 PM, Rozsa Center for the Performing Arts INFO: Valerie Pegg, vepegg@mtu.edu, 906-487-2844 http://www.greatevents.mtu.edu/main.html -------------------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-21 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-22 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2002-11-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2002, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2002-11-24 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================