PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2003-01 January, 2003 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2003-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2003-01-01 Table of Contents 2003-01-02 What's New in the Magazine 2003-01-03 Outstanding Heads of Science 2003-01-04 Dopey Psych Music 2003-01-05 Enthalpy and the Bleat Poets 2003-01-06 Research Bloomers 2003-01-07 Another Mellifluous Chemical 2003-01-08 SCIENTIST-OF-THE-MONTH: A. Slob 2003-01-09 FOR SPECIALISTS ONLY: Chyme, Chyme, Chyme! 2003-01-10 POP-EYES: Agarwal, Agarwal, Agarwal! 2003-01-11 Gum Ban Slippage 2003-01-12 Gull Drop-Catch Limerick Contest 2003-01-13 Clone Babe 2003-01-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Tickle, Brugger, and Nose, Sneeze 2003-01-15 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Michael Jackson Surgery 2003-01-16 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Happy Face, Pizza, Locust Gams 2003-01-17 AIRhead Events 2003-01-18 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2003-01-19 Our Address (*) 2003-01-20 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2003-01-21 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-02 What's New in the Magazine AIR volume 9, number 1 (January/February 2003) is the annual IG NOBEL ISSUE. It will be emerging from the printers in a few weeks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-03 Outstanding Heads of Science We are delighted to announce the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) man and woman of the year. They are, respectively: Italian chemist / rock star Dr. Piero Paravidino and French X-ray astronomer Dr. Ilana Harrus. You can admire their luscious locks at: And as usual, several new Hair Club members are on display at the LFHCfS home page: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-04 Dopey Psych Music A particular performance, in a particular place, of psychiatric music has drawn the attention of several of our correspondents. INVESTIGATOR HOWELL WALEY's comments are typical: "I read your article on 'Three Aspects of the Nose' with great interest, and followed the link there that leads to a journal called 'Psychoanalytic Quarterly' . I was not prepared for the sound of psychiatry. What is the deal with the dopey music that Psychoanalytic Quarterly pours over you? I had to turn down the sound on my computer, or risk some kind of dopey grin-and-drool reaction that felt imminent." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-05 Enthalpy and the Bleat Poets The judges in the first and last annual SHEEPISH THERMODYNAMICS LIMERICK COMPETITION were heartened to see how many people could not stop themselves from composing limericks that explore the research report: "Enthalpy, Heat Capacity and Thermal Conductivity of Boneless Mutton Between -40 and +40 Degrees C," by Ana M. Tocci, Ethel S.E. Flores, and Rodolfo H. Mascheroni. [for the full citation, see last month's mini-AIR] The winners each will receive a free issue of the Annals of Improbable Research, whether they like it or not. Here are the poets and their limericks: INVESTIGATOR NADINE FIEDLER: According to R. Mascheroni: With mutton, if not with baloney, The meat can't be beat For conduction of heat -- As long as it's boneless, not boney. INVESTIGATOR STEVEN HALL: The constants related to heat For cooking or freezing the meat Of a sheep or a lamb (Per degree and per gram) are determined and published. How neat! Several notable runners-up will be featured later this month on the AIR web site. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-06 Research Bloomers Investigator Danny O'Hare has alerted us to a gathering for anyone interested in the scientific aspects of underwear: The Science and Technology of Underwear Meeting February 18, 2003 University of Durham's Chemistry Department DETAILS: This meeting is open to guests and refreshments will be provided The informational web page contains what it calls a "useful link": . That useful link leads to a list of entrancing lecture topics, including: "The Chemistry Behind Your Cuppa," by Dr. Stella Peace "Explosions: A Demonstration Lecture" by Dr. Cliff Ludman We would be interested in hearing from someone who attends all three events and emerges unscathed and warmly clothed. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-07 Another Mellifluous Chemical Candidates for the title of Most Mellifluous Chemical have been mixing and stewing in a vat here for almost a year. Here is one of them, from INVESTIGATOR BRADFORD WADE: "I must vote for DIISOBUTYL PHENOXY ETHOXY ETHYL DIMETHYL BENZYL AMMONIUM CHLORIDE. which constituted 0.07% of a certain bathroom deodorant, and which a certain little boy committed to permanent memory. This represents the first time in at least 40 years that this tidbit of information has been of any use whatsoever." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-08 SCIENTIST-OF-THE-MONTH: A. Slob This month's Scientist-of-the-Month is A. Slob. The official story on Dr. Slob appears on the web site of Humboldt-UniversitŠt zu Berlin. Here it is, verbatim: "A. KOOS SLOB, PH.D. Dr. Slob is senior scientist and professor of pathophysiology of sexuality in the Department of Endocrinology and Reproduction, the Faculty of Medicine, Erasmus University, Rotterdam, the Netherlands. Editor-in-chief of the Dutch Journal of Sexology (Tijdschrift voor Seksuologie), Dr. Slob was the first recipient of the 'Van Emde Boas-Van Ussel' Award (1987) from the Dutch Society for Sexology. He also holds the special chair for physiology and pathophysiology of sexuality, the Trustfund, Erasmus University. He is coeditor of Facetten van Seksualiteit: Een Inleiding tot de Seksuologie (1990), Seksuologie voor de Arts (1992), and numerous professional articles." Congratulations to Dr. Slob on being named Scientist-of-the-Month! ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-09 FOR SPECIALISTS ONLY: Chyme, Chyme, Chyme! Sometimes happy coincidence occurs. For example... Recently investigator Andrew Templeman wrote inquiring whether any reader has come up with a good mathematical model for the transport of chyme (the thick semifluid mass of partly digested food that is passed from the stomach to the duodenum) in the male small intestine. On that same day, investigator Tom Roberts sent us a copy of Abd El Hakeem, Abd El Naby,and A.E.M. El Misiery's fascinating "Effects of an Endoscope and Generalized Newtonian Fluid on Peristaltic Motion" (Applied Mathematics and Computation, vol. 128, 2002, pp. 19-35). On page 30 one finds "the values of various parameters for the transport of chyme in the male small intestine." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-10 POP-EYES: Agarwal, Agarwal, Agarwal! Three Agarwals have turned up in the Multiplicity of Monikers Program, which asks what is the most number of co-authors (of a single research paper) with the same family name. Investigator K. Danowski turned up a multi-Agawar paper: "Management of Dislocated Intraocular Implants," C.K. Chan, A. Agarwal, S. Agarwal, and A. Agarwal, Ophthalmology Clinics of North America, vol. 14, no. 4, December 2001, pp. 681-93. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-11 Gum Ban Slippage Singapore has altered its ban on chewing gum, according to The December 14, 2002 issue of The Spectator. That ban was an historic achievement. It, together with Singapore's bans on feeding pigeons and spitting, won the 1994 Ig Nobel Peace Prize for former prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. Here is the nub of the Spectator's report: Singapore announced it was to abandon a decade-old ban on the import of chewing-gum, but it would be available only on prescription; Mr Goh Chok Tong, the Prime Minister, said: 'We can't allow gum to be imported and then people stick it on the floor or behind your chair and so on.' ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-12 Gull Drop-Catch Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual GULL DROP-CATCH LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Talia Herr: "Drop-Catch Behaviour is Play in Herring Gulls, Larus argentatus," Jennifer R. Gamble and Daniel A. Cristol, Animal Behaviour, vol. 63, 2002, pp. 339-45. The authors, who are at the College of William and Mary, in Williamsburg, Virginia, explain that: Herring gulls nearly always carry clams with the wide end (umbo) facing away from the mouth. If drop-catches are a form of play, gulls will return the clam to the same position or reposition it randomly. In neither case would the clam be repositioned by the end of a drop series significantly more than half the time. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, drop-catchable issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: GULL DROP-CATCH LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-13 Clone Babe The news media have been full of speculation about Dr. Brigitte Boisellier, the chief scientist for a company called Clonaid, and her statement that she has cloned several human beings. We have nothing new to add to this discussion, except that Dr. Boisselier recently became a member of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. As far we can tell, that may be the only truly newsworthy aspect of the entire affair. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Tickle, Brugger, and Nose, Sneeze Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> Three Takes on Tickling ==> BODY OF WORK: Dr. Peter Brugger ==> Cosmic Headlights ==> Three Aspects of the Nose ==> On Sneezing THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-15 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Michael Jackson Surgery Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Mandibular Angle Augmentation with the Use of Distraction and Homologous Lyophilized Cartilage in a Case of Morphing to Michael Jackson Surgery," M.Y. Mommaerts, J.S. Abeloos, H. Gropp, Annales de Chirurgie Plastique et Esthetique, vol. 46, no. 4, August 2001, pp. 336-40. The authors, who are at H™pital General Saint-Jean, Bruges, Belgium, explain that: This article presents a combination of distraction osteogenesis and lyophilized cartilage used to three- dimensionally over-augment the mandibular angle of a long-face prognathic patient who had the wish to be morphed to Michael Jackson or at least as far as current technique and his endogenic features allowed. A bird's-eye view of the article (with some of its photographs!) is at ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-16 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Happy Face, Pizza, Locust Gams CUPP: FACE "Mood and Sex of Participant in Perception of Happy Faces," W.D. Killgore and D.W. Cupp, Perceptual and Motor Skills, vol. 95, no. 1, August 2002, pp. 279-88. The authors are at McLean Hospital, Belmont, Massachusetts. PUTTING THE PI, PROPERLY, IN PIZZA "Pizza Quality Evaluation Using Computer Vision--Part 1" and "Pizza Quality Evaluation Using Computer Vision--Part 2," Da-Wen Sun and Tadhg Brosnan, Journal of Food Engineering, vol. 57, no. 1, March 2003, pp. 91-5. The authors, who are at National University of Ireland, Dublin, Ireland, empirically calculate a mathematical formula for the perfect pizza. GREGARIOUSNESS AND GAMS "Gregarious Behavior in Desert Locusts is Evoked by Touching Their Back Legs," S.J. Simpson, E. Despland, B.F. Hagele, and T. Dodgson, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 98, 2001, pp. 3895-7. (Thanks To Giuliano Sclano for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2003-01-17 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, DENVER --FRI EVENING, FEBRUARY 14, 2003 7:30 PM, Hyatt Regency Denver, in the Moulin Rouge room. The annual special Annals of Improbable Research session at the Annual Meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Featuring: * AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS * 2001 Ig Nobel Biology Prize winner BUCK WEIMER * 1994 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize co-winner RICHARD DART * Physicist ROBERT PARK, who will review what has been a very, very odd year in science and others TBA MICHIGAN TECH, HOUGHTON, MI -- MON, APRIL 8, 2003 8:00 PM, Rozsa Center for the Performing Arts INFO: Valerie Pegg, vepegg@mtu.edu, 906-487-2844 THIRTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA INFO: -------------------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-18 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ 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Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-19 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2003-01-20 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-01-21 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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