PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2003-04 April, 2003 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2003-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2003-04-01 Table of Contents 2003-04-02 Soon 2003-04-03 What's New in the Magazine 2003-04-04 Italo-Oral Imposters 2003-04-05 A Romance of Crystallography 2003-04-06 Hair Flowing Luxuriantly 2003-04-07 Aurous Alfalfa Poets 2003-04-08 Ig in the UK 2003-04-09 Self-Warming Chicken Limerick Contest 2003-04-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: A Mother of a Stonehenge Theory 2003-04-11 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Bertrand Russell Mysteries, etc. 2003-04-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Chew, Upside-Down, Meaningless 2003-04-13 AIRhead Events 2003-04-14 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2003-04-15 Our Address (*) 2003-04-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2003-04-17 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-02 Soon April 8 AIR show at MICHIGAN TECH HOUGHTON, MICHIGAN For details, see section 2003-04-13 below. April 14 Special DNA AIR show in WASHINGTON, DC For details, see section 2003-04-13 below. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-03 What's New in the Magazine Volume 9, number 2 (March/April 2003) of the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a special DISMAL SCIENCE & POETRY issue. Highlights include: <> "How Many Beans Make Soup?" by Michael Reidy. The author supplies a definitive analysis. <> "Hitlerīs Skull and Teeth," by Mark Benecke. The author, a forensic entomologist and member of the AIR editorial board, recently examined those peculiar historical remains in Moscow. <> "Vile Poetry and Worse Taste," by Chris McManus. The winner of the 2002 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize explains all about scrotal asymmetry in man and ancient sculpture. <> "Mankiw's Ten Principles of Economics, Translated," by Yoram Bauman. A young economics professor clarifies the textbook offerings of one of the profession's giants. <> "The Inhumanity of Prozac," by Ladyfrend Maidenhead. The author describes a zoo's worth of experiments in which Prozac was given to different animals. ...and much more. The complete table of contents can be perused at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-04 Italo-Oral Imposters A brief article in the March 21 issue of The Daily Telegraph reports that: More than half of Italian dentists are impostors, sometimes plumbers or traffic wardens, according to Italy's dental association. It says there are 45,000 bogus dentists, compared to 40,000 qualified professionals, and money is likely to be the reason. Dentists are among Italy's highest earners. The matter seems not to have been reported widely. We would be interested in hearing from anyone who has more detailed information about this. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-05 A Romance of Crystallography Investigator Dave Snider has sent in a most romantic collection of research reports. Here are his introduction and list. * * * I submit the following for consideration in a sequence of research articles that it chronicles a romantic encounter. (Dr. C. B. Shoemaker has graciously permitted me to send this in. I discovered it 40 years ago while I was conducting a literature survey for a solid state physics project.) 1) Brink, C. and MacGillavry, C.H. "The Crystal Structure of K2CuCl3 and Isomorphous Substances," Acta Cryst. 2, 158. 2) Brink, C., and van Arkel, A.E., "The Crystal Structures of (NH4)2CuCl3 and (NH4)2CuBr3," Acta Cryst. 5, 506. 3) Brink, C., and Shoemaker, D.P., "A Variation on the Sigma? Phase Structure: The Crystal Structure of the P Phase, Mo-Ni-Cr," Acta_Cryst. 8, 734. 4) Brink-Shoemaker, C., Cruickshank, D.W.J., Hodgkin, D.C., Kamper, M.J., Pilling, D., "The Structure of Vitamin B12 ; VI. The Structure of Crystals of Vitamin B12 Grown from and Immersed in Water," Proc. Roy. Soc. A. 278, 1-26. 5) Shoemaker, C.B. and Shoemaker, D.P., "Interatomic Distances and Atomic Radii in Intermetallic Compounds of Transition Elements," Trans. A.T.M.E. 230, 486. * * * The heroine and hero of this tale are none other than Clara Brink Shoemaker and the late David Powell Shoemaker. They demonstrated to a sometimes skeptical world that good chemists understand many kinds of chemistries. Biographical info about C.B.S. can be found at , and about D.P.S. at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-06 Hair Flowing Luxuriantly There is a spectacular new crop of members at the New Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club. They and their tresses can be seen at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-07 Aurous Alfalfa Poets The judges in the first and last annual AUROUS ALFALFA LIMERICK COMPETITION have chosen the winners, each of whom in some sense explored the research report: "Recovery of Gold(III) From Multi-Elemental Solutions By Alfalfa Biomass," G. Gamez, J.L. Gardea-Torresdey, K.J. Tiemann, J. Parsons, K. Dokken, and M. Jose Yacaman, Advances in Environmental Research, vol. 7, no. 2, pp 563-71. The winners each will receive a non-aurous, alfalfa-free hot issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks: INVESTIGATOR BETHANY PEEL: (1) When Gamez first noticed fixation On money within his great nation, He saw his big chance To get some new grants By studying phytofiltration. (2) From pollution he found that -- behold! -- His alfalfa could bind up the gold. Now the Midas of plants Has his lab in a trance As it whispers of treasures untold. INVESTIGATOR MARCEL VONK: When diving for pearls, I was told: "Dear boy, if you ever get old Forget getting moister With each single oyster -- Instead, get alfalfa for gold!" INVESTIGATOR RICHARD BLEILER: Think of the straws that we hold -- Golden, yet not made of gold. Yet Gamez the wise, Has showed that the ryes Can contain much more than we'd been told. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-08 Ig in the UK The first Ig Nobel Tour of the UK was a rousing success. A merry band of Ig Nobel Prize winners joined our editor in barnstorming six cities in eight days. We were joined by competitors for the title of "Britain's Most Succinct Scientist." The London show, on March 6, also featured jazz singer Sandra Lawrence and pianist Phil Mead performing songs from Ig Nobel operas; they were accompanied by a chorus of scientists-turned-insects. A few highlights can be seen at Many thanks to the good folks at the Times Higher Education Supplement (THES) and at the British Association for the Advancement of Science (the BA), who co-sponsored the tour, and to the many participants and co-organizers. We will be doing it again in March 2004, for Nation Science Week. If you are in the UK and would like to have your institution host one of the events on the 2004 tour, please get in touch with us at or with Annette Smith at the BA ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-09 Self-Warming Chicken Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual SELF-WARMING CHICKEN LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Tom Gill: "Heat Produced by Broiler Chickens in a Commercial Transport Vehicle," P. J. Kettlewell, R.P. Hoxey, and M.A. Mitchell, Journal of Agricultural Engineering Research, vol. 75, No. 3, Mar 2000, pp. 315-26. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, lukewarm issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: SELF-WARMING CHICKEN LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: A Mother of a Stonehenge Theory Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Stonehenge: A View From Medicine," Anthony M. Perks and Darlene M. Bailey Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, vol. 96,2003, pp. 94-8. (Thanks to Dan O'Gorman for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are at University of British Columbia, Vancouver. Stonehenge, with its stone circles and awe-inspiring arches, the trilithons, has stood over Salisbury Plain, in the centre of southern England, for over 4000 years... Here we offer a theory based on the resemblance of the henge to the human vulva, with the birth canal at its centre. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-11 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Bertrand Russell Mysteries, etc. Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> The Bertrand Russell Murder Mysteries, Episode IV l ==> How To make a Scientific Lecture Unbearable ==> The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth ==> Peculiar Relationships Between Authors and the Subject of Their Studies ==> HMO-NO: Say "No" to Germs! ==> More AIR Vents ==> Uri Geller's Televised Adoption Plan THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Chew, Upside-Down, Meaningless THROCKMORTON: HARD CHEW ON A BOLUS "The Effects of Bolus Hardness on Masticatory Kinematics," K. Anderson, G.S. Throckmorton, P.H. Buschang, and H. Hayasaki, Journal of Oral Rehabilitation, vol. 29, no. 7, July 2002, pp. 689-96. (Thanks to Ricki Hanff for bringing this to our attention.) COMPLEXITY OF ORIENTATION "Relationship Between Frequency of Upside-Down Posture and Space Size Around Upside-Down Catfish, Synodontis nigriventris," K. Ohnishi, A. Takahashi, H. Tanaka, and T. Ohnishi, Uchu Seibutsu Kagaku, vol. 190, no. 4, December 1996, pp. 247-51. (Thanks to Miriam E. Tucker for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are at Nara Medical University, Japan. METHODICO-PHILOSOPHICAL CONUNDRUM "A Method for Predicting Psychological Response to Meaningless Random Noise Based on Fuzzy System Model," Tetsuro Saeki, Shizuma Yamaguchi, Yuichi Kato, Kensei Oimatsu, Applied Acoustics, vol. 63, no. 3, 2002, pp. 323-31. (Thanks to Sandra Betar for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2003-04-13 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 MICHIGAN TECH, HOUGHTON, MI - TUES, APRIL 8, 2003 8:00 PM, Rozsa Center for the Performing Arts INFO: Valerie Pegg, vepegg@mtu.edu, 906-487-2844 http://www.greatevents.mtu.edu/main.html DNA CELEBRATION, WASHINGTON, DC - MON, APRIL 14, 2003 Special DNA AIR show as part of the official celebration of the 50th anniversary of Watson and Crick's discovery of the structure of the DNA molecule. (By invitation only.) THIRTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA INFO: IG INFORMAL LECTURES - SAT, OCT 4, 2003 Details TBA. ----------------- CALTECH, PASADENA, CALIFORNIA - TUES, JANUARY 27, 2004 Details TBA. AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY, 2004 Annual AIR special session as part of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Details TBA. ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND - MARCH, 2004 IG NOBEL / AIR Tour will be a featured part of the UK's NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK.AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, numerous IG NOBEL WINNERS, and other of Britain's most and least celebrated scientist will do improbable public shows in various cities. Details TBA. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-14 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ 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Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-15 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2003-04-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-04-17 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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