PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2003-09 September, 2003 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2003-09-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2003-09-01 Table of Contents 2003-09-02 Soon 2003-09-03 What's New in the Magazine 2003-09-04 Breakfast Similarity Theory 2003-09-05 Tick, Talk, Teach 2003-09-07 Coffee/Tea Yuck: Yay! 2003-09-08 Bow-Lingual, Now More Than Ever 2003-09-09 Comes the Book... 2003-09-10 Cogno-Babble Poets 2003-09-11 Ig Nobel -- Tickets, Delegations, Webcast 2003-09-12 Murphy Incarnate 2003-09-13 Wigglesworth Contest 2003-09-14 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Meaningless (Pithily) 2003-09-15 BURSTS OF HotAIR: No Chicken / Prohibitions / No, no 2003-09-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Observation and Experiment 2003-09-15 AIRhead Events 2003-09-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2003-09-17 Our Address (*) 2003-09-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2003-09-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-02 Soon The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony is almost here (and so are the webcast and Lectures) See section 2003-11 below. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-03 What's New in the Magazine Volume 9, number 5 (September/October 2003) of the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is the special MURPHY'S LAW issue. It will be arriving from the printer later this month. Highlights include: <> "The Fastest Man on Earth," by Nick T. Spark. The author fervently chases down the true history of the birth of Murphy's Law, and discovers that Murphy's Law applies even to certain aspects of his investigation. [NOTE: See item 2003-12 below] <> "Murphy's Law Before Murphy's Law," by Buffy St. Master. The author documents several stark appearances of Murphy's Law that occurred before the Law got its proper name. <> "HMO-NO News: Nano-Care!" The advent of new technology that will shrink your medical bills. ...and much more. The complete table of contents, and the front and back covers (including a photo of Murphy's resume) can be perused at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-04 Breakfast Similarity Theory Please help us test the Theory of Breakfast Similarity. The Theory of Breakfast Similarity states that: "Although most people want variety in their midday and evening meals, for breakfast they are content to eat the same thing day after day after day after day after day." We invite you to answer the following possibly scientific survey question: Do you like to eat the same thing for breakfast day after day after day after day after day? (A) YES (B) NO Please send your data, without undue comment, to: BREAKFAST SIMILARITY SURVEY c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-05 Tick, Talk, Teach With the start of a new academic year comes the joy, verve, and masked terror of the brand new students, and of the brand-new teachers. As a service to this year's crop of new teachers, we point to the classic cautionary poem "TenureClocky," by Dany Adams. The poem is at And as always, the AIR Teacher's Guide is at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-07 Coffee/Tea Yuck: Yay! In science, it all boils down to coffee and tea, and then decay sets in. This is a good thing. Scientists appreciate coffee and tea in ways undreamt of by much of the sipping public. The Royal Society of Chemistry has thirstily shouldered the burden of educating the unthinking drinkers. They have issued an invitation, which begins: The Royal Society of Chemistry is seeking retch-inducing neglected workplace coffee cups to mark a milestone in scientific discovery. The Society is looking for the UK's most spectacular accidental growth of green gunge to be found in a discarded cup of coffee in a British workplace. Retched, but not wretched, details are at Earlier this year, the Royal Society pronounced its views on the proper way to make a cup of tea: This is a bold initiative, in that Britain already HAS an official standard -- the British Standards Institution's 6-page set of specifications (BS-6008), as documented at Three cheers -- and an infinity of cuppas -- for the Royal Society of Chemistry! (And thanks to the many readers who brought these items to our attention.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-08 Bow-Lingual, Now More Than Ever Ever since the 2002 Ig Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the inventors of Bow-Lingual, people have wondered about the machine's utility. Bow-Lingual, of course, is the computer-based automatic dog-to-human language-translation device. Bow-Lingual, it is now clear, may be our best hope for resolving certain vexing dilemmas, such as this one implied by the Associated Press: BRIDE TO A STRAY DOG June 19, 2003 NEW DELHI, India (AP) -- A 9-year-old girl was married to a stray dog in a ceremony attended by more than 100 guests in a village in India's eastern state of Bengal as part of a ritual intended to ward off a bad omen, newspapers reported Thursday... A further account, with a photo of the happy couple, can be seen in the Indian news magazine "The Week," online at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-09 Comes the Book... We are pleased to announce the publication (this month) of the new book "The Ig Nobel Prizes." The book has 240 pages, each of which is made of paper. The ISBN is 0525947531. We found the book extremely enjoyable, having both written it and then read it. To obtain this plucky tome, see ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-10 Cogno-Babble Poets COGNO-BABBLE LIMERICK CONTEST The judges in the first and last annual COGNO-BABBLE LIMERICK COMPETITION have chosen the winners, each of whom in some sense explored the research report: "Operating Principles in Repetitive Babbling: A Cognitive Continuity Approach," L. Elbers, Cognition, vol. 12, no. 1, July 1982, pp. 45-63. The winners each will receive a free, babble-filled issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks: INVESTIGATOR KIMBERLEY STRONG (who commendably took the trouble to obtain and read a copy of the Elbers report, and so learned that the author's son -- the babbling baby in the study -- is named Thomas]: When asked "why would one want to dabble, In deciphering infantile babble?" Elbers returned: "With what I have learned, Now I can beat Thomas at Scrabble!" INVESTIGATOR DIVYA SAMPATH: This paper seeks to explain and impart New insight into a very old art: Detaching one's brain And repeating again That which made no sense right from the start. INVESTIGATOR WALTER BROWN: Though parents may find it delicious, Kids' babbling can seem meretricious. Now Elbers has found A clear form to this sound. But get real, folks -- it's still repetitious. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-11 Ig Nobel -- Tickets, Delegations, Webcast Here's how to attend and/or see the 13th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at Sanders Theatre on Thursday evening, October 2, 2003. TICKETS: Harvard Box Office (617-496-2222) Open noon to 6 p.m. Tuesdays-Sundays. AUDIENCE DELEGATIONS: If you have a group you want officially recognized as an official Delegation, be aware that the registration deadline for this is Thursday, Sept. 25. See . INTERNET TELECAST: The live telecast will begin at 7:30 PM (Boston time), at DETAILS are at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-12 Murphy Incarnate Most people think the "Murphy" in Murphy's Law is apocryphal. Most people are wrong. Murphy's Law was named after Captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr., whose utterance in 1949 gave rise to the naming of the Law. Murphy's son, Edward A. Murphy III, will deliver the keynote address at this year's Ig Nobel Prize ceremony on October 2, at Harvard. Two days later, on October 4, at MIT, he will give one of this year's Ig Informal Lectures. At the Lectures, Mr. Murphy will display some of his father's engineering tools -- including Murphy's slide rule! -- and also show a four-minute videotape in which his father describes Murphy's Law. BACKGROUND READING MATERIAL: For background reading on the true- life, genuinely head-rattling historical saga/soap opera that was the birth of Murphy's Law, you can read Nick Spark's adventure- packed historical-detection article, which is being published in AIR 9-5, and which we will post on the AIR web site (www.improbable.com), in four juicy parts, which will appear on September 15, 17, 22, and 24. Nick Spark, too, will appear at the Ig Informal Lectures at MIT. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-13 Wigglesworth Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual WIGGLESWORTH LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report (in this case a book -- an old favorite), which was brought back to our attention by investigator Ginnie Trong: "The Principles of Insect Physiology," Sir Vincent B. Wigglesworth, 1965, Methuen, London. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, worth-wiggling-for issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: WIGGLESWORTH LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-14 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Meaningless (Pithily) Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Meaningless Terms in Rewriting," Richard Kennaway, Vincent van Oostrom, and Fer-Jan de Vries, Journal of Functional and Logic Programming, no. 19991-1, 1999, . (Thanks to Lee Naish for bringing this to our attention.) The authors give the following clear summary of their work: [W]e show that [our axioms] can be easily verified for many existing notions of meaninglessness and easily refuted for some notions that are known not to be good characterizations of meaninglessness. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-15 BURSTS OF HotAIR: No Chicken / Prohibitions / No, no Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> "The Chicken Must Come First" ==> More Prohibitions ==> Baseball Research (improbable variety) ==> "Yes yes yes no no no" Letters ==> AIRhead Research Review ==> Newest members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Observation and Experiment OBSERVATION... "Naturalistic Observations of Beer Drinking Among College Students," Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, E. S. Geller, N. W. Russ, and M. G. Altomari, vol. 19, 1986, pp. 391-6. . (Thanks to Robert P. Rolfe for bringing this to our attention.) The authors report that: We observed the beer drinking behavior of 308 university students in several bar and party settings. The following relationships were found: (a) males drinking beer in bars consumed 0.92 oz per min; (b) females drank less beer than males... (c) patrons drank significantly more beer when drinking in groups and when purchasing beer in pitchers versus cups or bottles... ...AND EXPERIMENT "The Effect of Modelling on Drinking Rate," W. K. Garlington and D. A. Dericco, Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, vol. 10, 1977, pp. 207-11. (Thanks to Katherine Doherty for bringing this to our attention.) The authors explain their work thusly: Three male college seniors were asked to drink beer at their normal rate in a simulated tavern setting. Each was paired with a confederate, also a male college senior, in an ABACA single subject design. In the baseline conditions, the confederate matched the drinking rate of the subject. Baseline and all subsequent conditions were continued in 1-hour sessions until a stable drinking rate was achieved. In Condition B, the confederate drank either one third more or one third less than the subject's baseline rate. In Condition C, the direction was reversed. All three subjects closely matched the confederate's drinking rate, whether high or low. ------------------------------------------------------------ 2003-09-15 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 13TH FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA 7:30 PM. Tickets available from the Harvard Box Office. Live Internet telecast. INFO: IG INFORMAL LECTURES - SAT, OCT 4, 2003 1:00 PM. MIT Building 54, Room 100 This event is free. INFO: ----------------- HARVARD BOOK STORE, CAMBRIDGE, MA - TUES, OCT 7, 2003 6:00 PM. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will read from the new book "The Ig Nobel Prizes" INFO: Phone: 800-542- READ CALTECH, PASADENA, CALIFORNIA - TUES, JANUARY 27, 2004 Details TBA. AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY, 2004 Annual AIR special session as part of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Details TBA. ENGLAND AND IRELAND AND SCOTLAND - MARCH, 2004 IG NOBEL / AIR Tour will be a featured part of the UK's NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK.AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, numerous IG NOBEL WINNERS, and other of Britain's most and least celebrated scientist will do improbable public shows in various cities. Details TBA. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-17 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2003-09-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-09-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================