I Love Chemistry

A anagrammatical, albeit pointless, tale

by Alice Shirell Kaswell

[Every line in this tale—except the section titles—is an anagram of the phrase "I Love Chemistry."]

How the Shy Little Chemist Imagines Himself to Be

Mystic evil hero,

Movie style rich.

The Little Chemist Gives a Party and Plays the Too-Friendly, Boasting Host

Richly moist eve.

Host cry, "I’ve lime!"

"Hey Victor—smile!"

"Hey Victor—limes!"

Him lie: "Very cost."

His Guests Do Not Like the Food

"Lime so very itch."

"Oils very itch me."

"Mercy. This olive!"

"He so vile!" cry Tim,

Vomit his celery.

Nor Do They Like the Poor Little Chemist,
So They Tell Strange Tales Behind His Back

Chime evil story:

"Shot mice! Verily!"

"Mother’s evil, icy!"

But I Have Met His Mother, and Have My Own Opinion About Her

"Mother civil? Yes."

My Little Secret: How I Escaped Listening to More Such Inane Party Chatter

I sly. Move thrice.

Copyright © 1996 The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). All rights reserved.