The Song of the Endoscopist
(From "The Enemakado")
On the curve of the sigmoid mucosa there sat
A polyp, large polyp, dark polyp.
And I mused to myself, "Oh, my, look at that:
A polyp, great polyp, great polyp.
You’re not hyperlastic. I can tell by your size
That you’re villous or tubular, or otherwise.
Something unusual has met my eyes.
Oh, polyp, great polyp, great polyp."
With a twist of my hand, I extended the snare
To the polyp, dark polyp, great polyp,
And nipped off the stalk with my usual flair,
Taking polyp, great polyp, great polyp.
To Pathology, the polyp I quickly referred,
And later that week, I went there and heard
That what I had pulled out was merely a turd.
Not a polyp, no polyp, no polyp.
This article first appeared in the March/April 2000 issue (vol. 6, no. 2) of Annals of Improbable Research (AIR).
© Copyright 2000 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
This article first appeared in AIR
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