October 2, 1999
Watchdogs are waffle winners
British standards watchdogs were yesterday
unmasked as the world's top
wafflers, after producing a 5000-word guide to making
an ordinary cup of tea.
The British Standards Institute beat
a host of wordy opponents to win one of
10 Ig Nobels - an American spoof on the Nobel prizes
for scientific and artistic
excellence announced yesterday.
A panel of Harvard University academics
unveiled the snappily-titled "BS
6008: Method for Preparation of a Liquor of Tea" as its
unanimous choice for the
literary award at a parallel ceremony in Massachusetts.
The six-page work, which lays out in
mind-boggling detail how to brew the
definitive British cuppa, was selected after meeting
the key Ig Nobel criteria
of being a feat that "cannot or should not be reproduced".
Bosses at the London-based body, whose
Washington representative was
symbolically pelted with dry tea bags as he accepted
the gong, reacted to the
doubtful honour with a good grace.
Spokesman Steve Tyler said: "We are
delighted to have been recognised for
what is the very important task of setting out the standards
required to produce
a proper cup of tea. We do not take these matters lightly.
"A group of experts was convened to
decide on the procedures necessary to
make the perfect brew and explaining the results to the
world is a task that
needs to be done in the fullest detail."
The prize-winning BS 6008, drawn up
to set a standard for professional tea
testers and also known as ISO 3103 to global tea fanatics,
lays down the law on
brewing up - right down to the type of vessel to be used.
It states that the industry-standard
pot must be "of white porcelain or
glazed earthenware, with its edge partly serrated and
provided with a lid, the
skirt of which fits loosely inside".
Accompanying scale drawings show how
"a small hole to allow air to enter
when the liquor is being poured" is required, before
adding: "Tests for sensory
perceptions are not to be rushed."
The BSI's tea manifesto was not the
only contribution to beverage science
from Britain to be honoured at the Ig Nobels. Bristol
University lecturer Len
Fisher received a prize for his work on soggy biscuits.
Physics researcher Mr Fisher was in
Boston to receive his award for finding
the best technique to dunk a biscuit in a cup of tea
or coffee before it reduces
to a sticky mess and naming the most suitable brands.
Among the other winners were Canadian
academic Steve Penfold, who picked up
the sociology prize for his PhD on doughnut shops and
Japanese private detective
Takeshi Makino, who won the chemistry section for developing
an infidelity
detection spray for men's underpants.
The peace prize went to Charl Fourie
and Michelle Wong of Johannesburg,
South Africa, for inventing an automobile burglar alarm
consisting of a
detection circuit - and a flamethrower.
The not so short guide to making a cuppa
Here is an abridged version of the
British Standards Institute's six-page BS
6008: Method for The Preparation of a Liquor of Tea for
Use in Sensory Tests:
Use 2g of tea - to a margin of error
of plus or minus 2% - for every 100ml
of water.
Tea flavour and appearance will be
affected by the hardness of the water
used.
The pot must be filled to within 4-6mm
of the brim with freshly boiling
water.
After the lid has been placed on top,
the pot must be left to brew for
precisely six minutes.
Milk should be added at a ratio of 1.75ml of milk for every 100ml of tea.
The pot should be lifted with the lid
held in place, then "pour tea through
the infused leaves into the cup".
Pour in tea on top of milk to prevent
scalding the milk. If you pour your
milk in last the best results are with a liquor temperature
of 65-80C.