BANGKOK POST 

September 29, 2000 


Insider: Everything you need to know 




We know you lead very busy lives, and probably don't have time to do
as much reading as you'd like to. If you're a scholarly sort,
wouldn't it be nice if the history of the universe could be distilled
into 200 words?It has been, by Eric Schulman, a clever chap
who toils at the US National Radio Astronomy Observatory in Virginia
This Friday treat is courtesy of the Annals of Improbable
Research, Volume III, 1997:

Quantum
fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear
interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation.
Deuterium and helium production. Density
perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local
contraction. Cluster
formation. Reionisation? Violent relaxation. Virialisation. Biased
galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. 

Ionisation. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star
formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion.
Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen,
and silicon fusion. 

Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals
injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. 

Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust
solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation.
Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. 

Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural
selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual
reproduction. Fossilisation. Land exploration. Dinosaur
extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. 

Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus
production. Civilisation! Innovation. Exploration. Religion.
Warring nations. Empire creation and
destruction. Exploration. Colonisation. Taxation without
representation. Revolution.
Constitution. Election. 

Expansion. Industrialisation. Rebellion. Emancipation
Proclamation. Invention. Mass
production. Urbanisation. Immigration. World
conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage
extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United
Nations. Space
exploration. Assassinations. Lunar
excursions. Resignation. Computerisation. World Trade
Organisation. Terrorism. Internet
expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web
creation. Composition. Extrapolation?